The alpha-Male...

[JR4AU]

You might not believe this, but that really isn't the standard by which she (or any plaintiff, generally speaking) is judged.  You have to account for the large number of mouth-breathing morons in the world.

True, and this isn't a concept new to American Jurisprudence.  Eggshell skull, and "take your plaintiff as you find them" and all that.

[wesfau2]

True, and this isn't a concept new to American Jurisprudence.  Eggshell skull, and "take your plaintiff as you find them" and all that.

This was exactly the phrase in my head when I posted that.

[Saniflush]

Once I am made benevolent dictator this will no longer be an issue.

[JR4AU]

This was exactly the phrase in my head when I posted that.

You mean inside your eggshell skull?  

Did you apply the Rule in Shelly's case and the Rule Against Perpetuities, and factor in the Fertile Octogenarian?

[wesfau2]

You mean inside your eggshell skull?  

Did you apply the Rule in Shelly's case and the Rule Against Perpetuities, and factor in the Fertile Octogenarian?

Yep, then I cracked a dude's skull cuz he tried to bugger me.

[GarMan]

So, really your beef is with a common law standard that is at least a hundred years old.

That damned liberalism phuks everything up. 

That's a leap, but thanks for playing...

[wesfau2]

That's a leap, but thanks for playing...

What leap?

You said that an intelligent person would know better.

I said that the standard isn't what an "intelligent" person would do.

You said:

that's really my biggest problem in the Liberal versus Conservative debate.  Liberalism is too busy trying to absolve everyone of personal responsibility, while my flavor of hardline Conservatism would let nature take its course thinning out the herd of the weakest in our species.

And here we are.  Your problem stems from your fundamental disagreement with the standard of behavior by which we should judge Stella's (or any plaintiff's) actions.  This isn't a liberal/conservative argument as those words are known today, because this standard predates all the contemporary partisan labels.

[JR4AU]

What leap?

You said that an intelligent person would know better.

I said that the standard isn't what an "intelligent" person would do.

You said:
And here we are.  Your problem stems from your fundamental disagreement with the standard of behavior by which we should judge Stella's (or any plaintiff's) actions.  This isn't a liberal/conservative argument as those words are known today, because this standard predates all the contemporary partisan labels.

'tis true GarMan.  This shit aint new!  Goes back to some old King shit over in Europe, back in the day.  Call it liberal if you want.  Standards of care and behavior have always been imposed by law in such cases.   

[CCTAU]

GREAT POINT!  And, that's really my biggest problem in the Liberal versus Conservative debate.  Liberalism is too busy trying to absolve everyone of personal responsibility, while my flavor of hardline Conservatism would let nature take its course thinning out the herd of the weakest in our species.  I know...  It's not nice, but it's how I roll.  

I hear ya. But it is not in the best interests of lawyers to allow this to happen. They would have nobody left to defend and the juries would be full of logical humans. That in itself would be natural tort reform.

There used to be such things as accidents in this country. Now it all about assigning blame on anyone who has the biggest pockets.






What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.

[GarMan]

'tis true GarMan.  This poop aint new!  Goes back to some old King poop over in Europe, back in the day.  Call it liberal if you want.  Standards of care and behavior have always been imposed by law in such cases.   

Look guys...  I'm not entirely stupid.  I had to take a couple of law courses for my undergrad, and I took another for fun in grad school.  How else do you think I kept my GPA up when taking Thermo-god-damn-ics and AC/DC Circuit Anal-ysis?  Common law typically refers to "Reasonable Person", and from the facts I've seen, Stella wasn't reasonable by sticking a styrofoam cup between her thighs to add creme and sugar.  

[JR4AU]

I hear ya. But it is not in the best interests of lawyers to allow this to happen. They would have nobody left to defend and the juries would be full of logical humans. That in itself would be natural tort reform.

There used to be such things as accidents in this country. Now it all about assigning blame on anyone who has the biggest pockets.






What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.

Sure there are accidents.  They're generally the result of negligence.  If you suffer injury, or damages to property, then you deserve to be made whole again.  Least that's the right thing to do in my simple mind.

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?  A good start!

[GarMan]

[quote author=wesfau2 link=topic=9472.msg128017#msg128017 date=1274297620
And here we are.  Your problem stems from your fundamental disagreement with the standard of behavior by which we should judge Stella's (or any plaintiff's) actions.  This isn't a liberal/conservative argument as those words are known today, because this standard predates all the contemporary partisan labels.  [/quote]

You're right...  I got it. 

[JR4AU]

Look guys...  I'm not entirely stupid.  I had to take a couple of law courses for my undergrad, and I took another for fun in grad school.  How else do you think I kept my GPA up when taking Thermo-god-damn-ics and AC/DC Circuit Anal-ysis?  Common law typically refers to "Reasonable Person", and from the facts I've seen, Stella wasn't reasonable by sticking a styrofoam cup between her thighs to add creme and sugar.  

Actually the reasonable person standard is a legal fiction normally applied to defendants and their standard of care, or breach of same.  The ficticious "reasonable person" never makes a mistake, and always does the right thing...he is "the ideal human actor".  

Here's an example of how it might be applied in what's called the Hand Rule: Under American common law, a well known—though nonbinding—test for determining how a reasonable person might weigh the criteria listed above was set down in United States v. Carroll Towing Co.[12] by the Chief Justice of the Second Circuit Court, Learned Hand. The case concerned a barge that had broken her mooring with the dock. Writing for the court, Hand held:

[T]he owner's duty, as in other similar situations, to provide against resulting injuries is a function of three variables: (1) The probability that she will break away; (2) the gravity of the resulting injury, if she does; (3) the burden of adequate precautions.

[AUTiger1]

I appreciate the lawyer jokes!  Thanks!  Carry on.  


Oh, and they are funnier when coming from JR and Birdman.

[CCTAU]

I appreciate the lawyer jokes!  Thanks!  Carry on.  


Oh, and they are funnier when coming from JR and Birdman.

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
"Senator"

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
"Your Honor."

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a bloodsucking parasite and the other is an insect.

Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.

Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.

It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) ... that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.


FUNNY IS FUNNY. DON'T LIKE THE SOURCE, DON'T LAUGH. - CCTAU

[JR4AU]

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
"Senator"

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
"Your Honor."

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a bloodsucking parasite and the other is an insect.

Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.

Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.

It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) ... that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.


FUNNY IS FUNNY. DON'T LIKE THE SOURCE, DON'T LAUGH. - CCTAU

Don't like the source?  Hell that's cut and paste 101 dude! 

[CCTAU]

Don't like the source?  Hell that's cut and paste 101 dude!  

I used Ctl+C and Ctl+V. I did not use the mouse. Therefore, that is cut and paste 102.



For years, the young attorney had been taking vacations at a country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his
suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talking and talking, and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."


Addendum:

A lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were camping in a backwoods section of Maine. Early one morning, the two went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry
patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female.

The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore
into town as fast has he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff.

The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of
lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female.

"Whatdidja do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!"

"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"

[JR4AU]

 big time lawyer from New York went duck huting in Kansas. He shot a duck while it was in the air. It happen to land in a feild next to were he was hunting. Across a fence.

A farmer was in the feild with his tractor and saw it land on his side. The lawyer climb the fence to go get the duck.


As he reach for it. The farmer said. Put that down. Thats my duck. The lawyer said no it's not. I shot it. it's mine. The farmer said it landed on my feild it's mine.


The lawyer told the farmer that he was the best lawyer in N.Y. and he would sue him for every thing he has.


The farmer said in Kansas we don't sue people to settle dispute. We do by the 1,2, 3 kick.


The lawyer said. The 1, 2, 3 kick. Whats that.


The farmer said we kick each other until one give up. And the one who give up first can have the duck.


The lawyer was a body builder also. As he size up the farmer as he got off his tractor. He agreed to the 1, 2, 3 kick.


The farmer said. I get to go first. cause the duck landed in my field. The lawyer said ok.


Well the farmer kick him in the growing and the lawyer bent over in pain. Then the farmer kick him in the nose. all most took it off. As the lawyer tryed to get up. The farmer went and kick him in the kidnees,


The lawyer went down hard. As he muster all his strength he had to get to his feet.


He Said. NOW IT'S MY TURN.


The farmer said. Nope I give up.

You can have the duck.

[Snaggletiger]

Habeus Corpus Delecti...or something.

A lawyer pulls up in front of his firm so everyone can see him in his brand new $140K Mercedes.  Just as he opens the door and begins to step out, this truck flies by and takes his door off.  The lawyer jumps out in the street hollering..

"Son of a bitch, I just rolled off the lot.  That car is $140K...my god..how could this happen?"

Just then, a guy comes running up and says, "Sir, calm down. I saw the whole thing.  I got the license number, description and everything."

The lawyer continues to rant and rave..."I don't give a shit if they repair it or not. It'll never be the same.  It's a $140K car and I just bought it....mother fucker"

The guy just looks at him in disgust and says, "You lawyers are all the same.  All you care about are material things and money.  Do you even realize that the truck also took your arm off at the shoulder?"

The lawyer stops cold and begins to turn white as he slowly turns to see the bloody nub where his arm used to be.  His lip begins to quiver and tears well up in his eyes as he opens his mouth to scream....

"SON OF A BITCH....MY ROLEX"

[Token]

At some point, I believe this would have been relevant to the discussion.

http://www.gadsdentimes.com/article/20100519/NEWS/100519835/1017/NEWS?Title=Man-shot-killed-while-allegedly-breaking-in-home

Man shot, killed while allegedly breaking in home

Times Staff Reports

Published: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 8:16 p.m.
Last Modified: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 8:16 p.m.

An intruder was shot and killed late Tuesday at a home near Piedmont, Calhoun County Sheriff Larry Amerson said.



A 41-year-old woman told investigators she had just gone to bed when she heard someone outside her house, trying to get inside.

The woman’s husband works the night shift and was not home, Amerson said.

The intruder, identified as Dale Micha Scott, 39, broke a sliding-glass door on an upstairs deck and went inside the home, Amerson said.

All of the lights were off, but Scott had a flashlight and went into a back bedroom and started going through a dresser.

The woman got a handgun and went upstairs.

She saw the man and he began yelling. She fired her gun, hitting the man several times.

She ran downstairs and waited for a family member and law enforcement officers to arrive.

Scott’s identification showed an address of Homosassa, Fla., but investigators determined he had been staying at a residence across the road from the woman’s house and also had stayed with different people in the area.

A witness told investigators the man left and said he would be back in a few minutes and walked across the road to the woman’s house.

Amerson said Alabama law allows residents to use deadly force to protect themselves from intruders in their home. Residents are not required to have a permit or license to own or possess a firearm in their home or on their property.