The Official 2010 MLB Bitch and Moan Thread

Tiger Wench · « **on:** April 08, 2010, 05:01:22 PM »

Baseball season has started and the Astros already suck. Lose to one of the (other) worst teams in baseball on Opening Day at home. Half their decent players are on DL. The rotation is full of no names plus a washed up, injured Mississippi redneck and a left handed midget.

Normally this is the time of year when I say "Hey! It's early! Lots of room for improvement!" But not this year.

This year, I am gonna go ahead and just write them off, anoint the Cards as div champs, Pujols as MVP and go have a drink or twelve while I wait for football season to start. I'll take my boss's awesome home plate seats when he offers them to me for free, and I'll go eat a greasy overpriced hot dog and watch some team destroy the Disastros. But Uncle Drayton will not be getting any of my ticket money this year. He sucks as bad as they do.

So yeah, it's baseball season.

Whoo. Hoo.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #1 on:** April 08, 2010, 05:08:13 PM »

Sorry Wench, but I drafted your washed up Mississippi redneck...so he is bound to have his worst season yet.

But, on the bright side, my cubbies lost 16-5 on opening day. Zambrano needs to go back to the California Penal league or wherever the hell he came from. I think it's going to be a tight race to see who hits the cellar this season in the Central.

AUTiger1 · « **Reply #2 on:** April 08, 2010, 05:31:40 PM »

0-2, all feels normal. Fuck Peter Angelos in da mouf. I fucking give up on the thought of ever making the playoffs again as long as he is alive.

Pell City Tiger · « **Reply #3 on:** April 08, 2010, 06:27:09 PM »

At least the 'stros scored last night. First 4 runs of the season.

GH2001 · « **Reply #4 on:** April 09, 2010, 10:43:41 AM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on April 08, 2010, 05:01:22 PM

Baseball season has started and the Astros already suck. Lose to one of the (other) worst teams in baseball on Opening Day at home. Half their decent players are on DL. The rotation is full of no names plus a washed up, injured Mississippi redneck and a left handed midget.

Normally this is the time of year when I say "Hey! It's early! Lots of room for improvement!" But not this year.

This year, I am gonna go ahead and just write them off, anoint the Cards as div champs, Pujols as MVP and go have a drink or twelve while I wait for football season to start. I'll take my boss's awesome home plate seats when he offers them to me for free, and I'll go eat a greasy overpriced hot dog and watch some team destroy the Disastros. But Uncle Drayton will not be getting any of my ticket money this year. He sucks as bad as they do.

So yeah, it's baseball season.

Whoo. Hoo.

Aren't you an Alabama native? Why dont you just become a Braves fan? You know they will always be in the hunt plus its your home team (if youre from AL). The Astros - well , they just havent been the same since the Ryan Express. Him and Mike Scott were a great duo.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #5 on:** April 09, 2010, 06:50:42 PM »

I hope Jason Motte's arm falls off. That is all.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #6 on:** April 10, 2010, 12:38:05 AM »

Quote from: GH2001 on April 09, 2010, 10:43:41 AM

Aren't you an Alabama native? Why dont you just become a Braves fan? You know they will always be in the hunt plus its your home team (if youre from AL). The Astros - well , they just havent been the same since the Ryan Express. Him and Mike Scott were a great duo.

Go peddle your shit elsewhere, jackass. Don't try to take this away from me. This is how I make it through to the start of football season.

The Braves are not the freaking "home team" - they are in Georgia. They are just closer than the next guys. I don't owe the Braves a got-damn thing. I was a Braves fan during the Dale Murphy - Brett Butler - Rick Camp days. They sucked. I move to Dallas in 1992 and the bastards win the fucking World Series. Fuck the Braves. I live in Houston now, and the Disastros are all I got in the way of live baseball. In fact, just today, my boss gave me his home plate seats for the Cards series in July. I chose that series because at least I will get to see Albert Pujols. And I see him for free. Not one penny of my ticket money goes to that stupid cheap fucker Uncle Drayton. Fucking Astros. I hope Pujols shells them every damn time he hits the plate.

And what a load of horseshit this season has started off to be - as of today, April 9, 2010, the Disastros are the only winless team in Major League Baseball. THE ONLY FUCKING TEAM WITHOUT A WIN. Tonight was the second shut out in a row - against the fucking Phillies. Lance Berkman may ask to be on the damn DL all fucking year. I would not blame him.

GH2001 · « **Reply #7 on:** April 11, 2010, 09:11:10 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on April 10, 2010, 12:38:05 AM

Go peddle your poop elsewhere, jackass. Don't try to take this away from me. This is how I make it through to the start of football season.

The Braves are not the freaking "home team" - they are in Georgia. They are just closer than the next guys. I don't owe the Braves a got-damn thing. I was a Braves fan during the Dale Murphy - Brett Butler - Rick Camp days. They sucked. I move to Dallas in 1992 and the bastards win the phuking World Series. phuk the Braves. I live in Houston now, and the Disastros are all I got in the way of live baseball. In fact, just today, my boss gave me his home plate seats for the Cards series in July. I chose that series because at least I will get to see Albert Pujols. And I see him for free. Not one penny of my ticket money goes to that stupid cheap phuker Uncle Drayton. phuking Astros. I hope Pujols shells them every damn time he hits the plate.

And what a load of horsepoop this season has started off to be - as of today, April 9, 2010, the Disastros are the only winless team in Major League Baseball. THE ONLY phukING TEAM WITHOUT A WIN. Tonight was the second shut out in a row - against the phuking Phillies. Lance Berkman may ask to be on the damn DL all phuking year. I would not blame him.

I think you read way too much into my post. Quit trying so hard.

And on "fuck the Braves" and loving the Astros - suit yourself.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #8 on:** April 11, 2010, 11:57:25 PM »

Unbe-fucking-lievable. Still winless. STILL WINLESS.

Doc Halladay pitches a complete game. WTF ever. Astros suck. Maybe I should just get GF to make me an "Astros Suck" icon so I won't have to write that out all fucking season long.

chinook · « **Reply #9 on:** April 12, 2010, 12:13:40 AM »

carlos lee and michael bourn"e" can eat monkey turds.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #10 on:** April 12, 2010, 07:42:08 AM »

Astros will win 2 of 3 in St Louis. Our bullpen sucks. They fucking suck. Can we just spot everyone we play 4 runs after the 6th, and call it a day. Both our losses have come in walk off fashion. Fuckers.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #11 on:** April 12, 2010, 11:09:44 AM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on April 12, 2010, 07:42:08 AM

Astros will win 2 of 3 in St Louis. Our bullpen sucks. They fucking suck. Can we just spot everyone we play 4 runs after the 6th, and call it a day. Both our losses have come in walk off fashion. Fuckers.

Two words for you, Jarhead:

STILL.

WINLESS.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #12 on:** April 12, 2010, 02:47:46 PM »

That's going to change in about 5 hours...

GH2001 · « **Reply #13 on:** April 12, 2010, 03:15:25 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on April 12, 2010, 11:09:44 AM

Two words for you, Jarhead:

STILL.

WINLESS.

I saw that on the highlights this morning. 0-6. I actually feel bad for you TW - even if you do call me a worthless jackass weekly.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #14 on:** April 12, 2010, 03:58:40 PM »

Quote from: GH2001 on April 12, 2010, 03:15:25 PM

I actually feel bad for you TW - even if you do call me a worthless jackass weekly.

Hey, if the shoe fits... fits up your ass, I mean...

Plus, I only abuse because I love...

STILL.

WINLESS.

Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Jarhead, but I do not anticipate that status changing tonight. I did not think it would be possible to have even LESS run support than we had last year... but HEY! Apparently ANYTHING is possible!!

AUJarhead · « **Reply #15 on:** April 12, 2010, 04:06:36 PM »

If they lose tonight, can I call them the Astrooooooos?

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #16 on:** April 12, 2010, 04:19:24 PM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on April 12, 2010, 04:06:36 PM

If they lose tonight, can I call them the Fucking Astrooooooos?

Yes, as amended.

GH2001 · « **Reply #17 on:** April 12, 2010, 09:49:21 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on April 12, 2010, 04:19:24 PM

Yes, as amended.

Dont feel too bad. Our Braves got ass raped tonight 17-2. Ouch.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #18 on:** April 12, 2010, 09:55:02 PM »

Two things, Wench.

1) Don't pitch to Pujols.

2) 11 pitches for Jason Motte in the 9th? Good Lord, what does your batting coach say, go out and hack at anything? Motte fucking sucks. Seriously, I'd rather have Brad Fucking Lidge than this ass clown.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #19 on:** April 12, 2010, 10:53:15 PM »

Albert Pujols has more RBIs than the ENTIRE HOUSTON FUCKING ASTROS BASEBALL TEAM COMBINED.

Now excuse me while I go start a countdown clock for football season. Baseball season is not even three full weeks old yet, and I am already over it.

STILL.

WINLESS.

Unbe-fucking-lievable...