Spartacus: Why do they have to show it?

Kaos · « **on:** January 24, 2010, 01:07:12 PM »

I watched Spartacus: Blood and Sand because I was intrigued by the prospect. With Dexter on break, The Sopranos, Brotherhood and Oz long gone and no real interest in Weeds, Big Love or Secret Diary of a Call Girl, I was looking for something to fill the "adult viewing" void.

This just didn't fill the bill.

Decide for yourself here: http://www.fancast.com/tv/Spartacus:-Blood-and-Sand/101971/1383717038/Episode-101:-The-Red-Serpent/videos

The stylized violence evoked the cartoonish aspects of 300, which isn't a bad thing, but isn't a good thing either.

Did the ancients really call each other 'mommy parts' on a regular basis? I'm going to have to see the scrolls to verify that.

The storyline and acting were pretty much crap. The driving force of the story, such as it were, seemed to be to contrive situations where people could get their fuck on.

In that respect it was little different from any run-of-the mill Cinemax movie with "Forbidden" in the title. In terms of delivery, it definitely met the Cinemax standard: Show everything but the under-the-balls camera angle.

Here's the deal. When Sura (the reasonably hot Erin Cummings -- yeah, that evokes porn-o-matic giggles -- see below) goes to the soon-to-be-named Spartacus before he goes off to war, we KNOW they are going to fuck. I'm no prude, but given that we know what comes next, is it absolutely necessary to show his ass cheeks flexing and her feet in the air? Aren't there more tasteful (and much sexier) ways to handle that? Do we have to see that repeated twice in the same episode?

The midget with a dick on his forehead was funny and gave me a laugh, but the rest of the overwrought to the point of silliness sex scenes just seemed forced.

I've read that in future episodes we're going to be treated to myriad swinging dicks, homosexual grinding, tits galore and plenty of Lucy Lawless' red snatch.

How about giving me a compelling story instead?

That's what made The Sopranos great. The murders and sex moved the story, but the story itself was the engine. Amazing writing, nuanced characters and layer after layer of subtext set The Sopranos apart.

Spartacus: Blood and Sand? Hopefully it will improve, but based on a single episode, it's little more than Cinemax Late Night with a slightly bigger budget. Trash it.

CCTAU · « **Reply #1 on:** January 24, 2010, 03:20:27 PM »

Xena's a redhead?

La.La.La. La.La.La. La.La.La. La.La.La. La.La.La. La.La.La. La.La.La.

Kaos · « **Reply #2 on:** January 24, 2010, 04:13:28 PM »

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #3 on:** January 24, 2010, 04:29:40 PM »

Is it a nice ass when it flexes? Cause if it is, I can get over the rest. Plots are overrated.

Kaos · « **Reply #4 on:** January 24, 2010, 04:39:26 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on January 24, 2010, 04:29:40 PM

Is it a nice ass when it flexes? Cause if it is, I can get over the rest. Plots are overrated.

http://www.fancast.com/tv/Spartacus:-Blood-and-Sand/101971/1383717038/Episode-101:-The-Red-Serpent/videos

6:54

and

32:08

FWIW? I decided to look around and see if it was just me. The reviews for this series are as brutal and gory as the ridiculous fight scenes. Apparently I'm not the only one who was bored/put off by this. Will give it one more episode but it better get better in a hurry. And showing me dude dicks isn't what I mean by better.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #5 on:** January 24, 2010, 05:20:40 PM »

That was a nice ass.

However, I could think about was how nasty they both must smell... and that kind of killed it for me.

But that was pretty good sex for a non-porn movie.

Did you ever see Rome on HBO? Now THAT was some hot sex. Antony and Cleopatra made ME blush...

Kaos · « **Reply #6 on:** January 24, 2010, 06:17:14 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on January 24, 2010, 05:20:40 PM

Did you ever see Rome on HBO? Now THAT was some hot sex. Antony and Cleopatra made ME blush...

I watched one episode. But I couldn't reconcile ancient Romans running around going "fucking fuckity, fucktacular fuck, you fucking fuck."

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #7 on:** January 24, 2010, 11:57:51 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on January 24, 2010, 06:17:14 PM

I watched one episode. But I couldn't reconcile ancient Romans running around going "fucking fuckity, fucktacular fuck, you fucking fuck."

They were soldiers - I am sure there was a Roman equivalent...

Kaos · « **Reply #8 on:** January 25, 2010, 12:10:02 AM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on January 24, 2010, 11:57:51 PM

They were soldiers - I am sure there was a Roman equivalent...

Probably. But it jolted me out of the story every time. And in that realm, you have to be in the story or it's useless.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #9 on:** January 25, 2010, 12:19:02 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on January 25, 2010, 12:10:02 AM

Probably. But it jolted me out of the story every time. And in that realm, you have to be in the story or it's useless.

You did not get far enough into it. I hated to see Season 2 end...

Godfather · « **Reply #10 on:** January 25, 2010, 12:52:32 PM »

Rome was awesome...that is all.

Thrilla · « **Reply #11 on:** January 25, 2010, 12:53:28 PM »

Quote from: Godfather on January 25, 2010, 12:52:32 PM

Rome was awesome...that is all.

You should be a movie critic

Godfather · « **Reply #12 on:** January 25, 2010, 12:56:49 PM »

Quote from: Thrilla on January 25, 2010, 12:53:28 PM

You should be a movie critic

I think so.

Godfather · « **Reply #13 on:** January 27, 2010, 12:33:13 PM »

Finally got to watch this on the DVR...I have to agree with your assessment. This was definitely no Rome. However based on the hotness of the nudity, I will give it at least 3 episodes, before it is removed from que.

AWK · « **Reply #14 on:** January 27, 2010, 01:24:16 PM »

Watched it last and I agree with you K. The funny thing about the vulgar common language, is that they tried to keep the sex seems more realistic by having none of the girls shave. haha.

Kaos · « **Reply #15 on:** February 01, 2010, 04:44:36 PM »

Spartacus Take Two:

Thanks to Netflix I don't have to subscribe to Starz, this thing just shows up in my choices. So I watched episode two.

Lucy Lawless has a fluffer. That's AWESOME.

The story moved along a little better, some of the character motivations were fleshed out better and it actually toned down some of the violence. Some of the over-the-top blood and gore and bad dialogue fits the pattern of a graphic novel brought to screen. Once I realized it wasn't trying to capture a realistic portrait of the time but instead paint a stylized version so the comic-book effects were deliberately campy and extreme, I could get past them.

Sexual content wasn't toned down. Lots of dicks flapping around, but they weren't so massive that it would cause a complex among the male viewers. Could hang with the gladiators... literally. Spartacus' wife, even in a dream, has some tice nitties.

It's still incredibly cheesy and the acting is horribly sub-par. Spartacus is the worst. It's like watching a wooden spoon deliver lines. But if they keep giving me naked ladies and hunching is that really the worst thing that's ever happened?

So far this series is much like a bad episode of Xena or Hercules but with lots of blood, lots of titties, hinted impending lesbian scenes and other ribaldry to make you forget just how cheesy it is.

It's growing on me.

Godfather · « **Reply #16 on:** April 15, 2010, 10:51:51 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on February 01, 2010, 04:44:36 PM

Spartacus Take Two:

Thanks to Netflix I don't have to subscribe to Starz, this thing just shows up in my choices. So I watched episode two.

Lucy Lawless has a fluffer. That's AWESOME.

The story moved along a little better, some of the character motivations were fleshed out better and it actually toned down some of the violence. Some of the over-the-top blood and gore and bad dialogue fits the pattern of a graphic novel brought to screen. Once I realized it wasn't trying to capture a realistic portrait of the time but instead paint a stylized version so the comic-book effects were deliberately campy and extreme, I could get past them.

Sexual content wasn't toned down. Lots of dicks flapping around, but they weren't so massive that it would cause a complex among the male viewers. Could hang with the gladiators... literally. Spartacus' wife, even in a dream, has some tice nitties.

It's still incredibly cheesy and the acting is horribly sub-par. Spartacus is the worst. It's like watching a wooden spoon deliver lines. But if they keep giving me naked ladies and hunching is that really the worst thing that's ever happened?

So far this series is much like a bad episode of Xena or Hercules but with lots of blood, lots of titties, hinted impending lesbian scenes and other ribaldry to make you forget just how cheesy it is.

It's growing on me.

Don't know if you stuck with it, but we are to the season finale this Friday. I have really enjoyed the series, it has gotten progressively better. I find myself looking forward to it. Still no where near as good as Rome, but with all the other crap on TV, I am looking at you Dances with American Idol. I like it.

On a side note it is called Dancing with the Stars right that has got to be the biggest piece of shit show ever to grace television. There are no stars in it. Someone needs to shoot that bitch Kate Goslin in the head. While their at it they need to burn down entertainment tonight and extra. I am so sick of celebrities.

Saniflush · « **Reply #17 on:** April 15, 2010, 11:11:37 AM »

I would humbly request that before she is killed that I get to see her tits. ( i have not seen hers and new boobies make me happy)

Godfather · « **Reply #18 on:** April 15, 2010, 11:21:53 AM »

Quote from: Saniflush on April 15, 2010, 11:11:37 AM

I would humbly request that before she is killed that I get to see her tits. ( i have not seen hers and new boobies make me happy)

Alllllllright

Kaos · « **Reply #19 on:** April 18, 2010, 02:43:47 AM »

I did finish it out.

It did get progressively better. It actually got to the point where the gratuitous sex detracted from the story that was (finally) unfolding. It just didn't need the cock shots to make it work.

I'll admit that after watching the finale I was semi-stunned. Where does it go from there?

The episode where Ilythia seduced the child and caused Spartacus to take out Varro was pretty good TV. The twist Batiatus pulled to eliminate Solonious was very clever. Didn't see that level of strategic maneuvering coming from him and Ashur.

Now that I've got the entire capsule, I'm going to go back and rewatch the whole thing probably. I do definitely agree, though, that the story solidified by about the fifth or sixth episode and I began watching it because I wanted to know how it would work out more than because I was curious about Xena's red bush.