I'm Going To Hell..But This Is Funny

Token · « **Reply #1 on:** November 29, 2009, 08:54:33 PM »

I saw a T-shirt for a vacation bible school that stated, "Jesus is my homie".

It amazes me at how far a church will go to "reach the kids."

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #2 on:** November 29, 2009, 09:54:31 PM »

I'm a devout Christian.

There's nothing wrong with a front hug. In fact, Jesus would probably encourage it. The very notion of preaching the "side hug" only instigates the thought of sex. Every time those kids "side hug," they'll be thinking about how they're NOT thinking about having sex with each other. Of course, that only leads to them thinking about having sex with each other because they're sex-crazed teenagers.

I remember being 14 and my youth pastor telling me to abstain from sex. I listened whole heartedly. I swore and swore and promised and promised. You know what, though? If a girl I thought was hot asked me to put it in her butt in front of the congregation in the middle of communion on a Sunday morning, I would have done it and asked the youth pastor to take pictures. That's what teenagers do. They think about sex.

Trying to quell the urge is useless. Teaching how to understand what sex means in a relationship is useful. By doing that, you have more of a chance to persuade a boy or girl to wait until marriage because that's when sex would be the most meaningful.

Sorry for the rant, but these kind of ignorant "youth conferences" are giving my faith a bad name. It gives comedians like

a chance to make fun and be funny doing it.

AUsweetheart · « **Reply #3 on:** November 29, 2009, 10:10:18 PM »

I was never once led astray by a front hug.

AUChizad · « **Reply #4 on:** November 29, 2009, 10:40:28 PM »

I mean, there's so much to make fun of, it's hard to pick a starting point.

1) Hugging from the front = bad, but shooting people is ok? (implied by the gun cocking, shots, and ambulances in the beat)

2) Do you think they have any idea what a Rough Rider is?

3) "You ain't no rabbi, you ain't no priest, so rise up off me like that shortbread with no yeast".
A) Um...isn't yeast exactly what makes shortbread, or any bread for that matter, "rise up"?
B) If you were a Rabbi or a priest, don't bother raising off me. Front hugs are ok from clergy.

4) WTF is the "Democrat Shift in the Congress" refrain about?

5) I like the guy that admits to front hugging, but it's cool, he's married. He "front hugs all day long without other demands."

Jumbo · « **Reply #5 on:** November 30, 2009, 03:19:55 AM »

Quote from: townhallsavoy on November 29, 2009, 09:54:31 PM

I'm a devout Christian.

There's nothing wrong with a front hug. In fact, Jesus would probably encourage it. The very notion of preaching the "side hug" only instigates the thought of sex. Every time those kids "side hug," they'll be thinking about how they're NOT thinking about having sex with each other. Of course, that only leads to them thinking about having sex with each other because they're sex-crazed teenagers.

I remember being 14 and my youth pastor telling me to abstain from sex. I listened whole heartedly. I swore and swore and promised and promised. You know what, though? If a girl I thought was hot asked me to put it in her butt in front of the congregation in the middle of communion on a Sunday morning, I would have done it and asked the youth pastor to take pictures. That's what teenagers do. They think about sex.

Trying to quell the urge is useless. Teaching how to understand what sex means in a relationship is useful. By doing that, you have more of a chance to persuade a boy or girl to wait until marriage because that's when sex would be the most meaningful.

Sorry for the rant, but these kind of ignorant "youth conferences" are giving my faith a bad name. It gives comedians like a chance to make fun and be funny doing it.

Same for me from my youth pastor, I think preaching safe sex would have been of more use than no sex. Kids are going to have sex, why not show them how to stay safe.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #6 on:** November 30, 2009, 09:03:30 AM »

Quote from: AUsweetheart on November 29, 2009, 10:10:18 PM

I was never once led astray by a front hug.

They obviously weren't doing it right then.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #7 on:** November 30, 2009, 09:20:30 AM »

Quote from: townhallsavoy on November 29, 2009, 09:54:31 PM

I'm a devout Christian.

That's a ridiculous phrase.

Quote from: AUChizad on November 29, 2009, 10:40:28 PM

A) Um...isn't yeast exactly what makes shortbread, or any bread for that matter, "rise up"?

Shortbread doesn't use yeast as its leavening agent.

Saniflush · « **Reply #8 on:** November 30, 2009, 09:33:33 AM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on November 30, 2009, 09:03:30 AM

They obviously weren't doing it right then.

Obviously we aren't supposed to butt fuck these kids.

CCTAU · « **Reply #9 on:** November 30, 2009, 09:51:34 AM »

Quote from: AUsweetheart on November 29, 2009, 10:10:18 PM

I was never once led astray by a front hug.

I know. I know. It was that slow quiet hug from behind that did it for you, huh?

Hugs are hugs. If you came from a family that didn't hug, then you might misconstrue what a hug is. But for me, a hug was just a hug. But back then, you shook a guys hand and gave a small hug to the girl.

I guess in today's bump and grind world, the hug is different and must be addressed.

AUChizad · « **Reply #10 on:** November 30, 2009, 09:57:42 AM »

Quote from: CCTAU on November 30, 2009, 09:51:34 AM

I know. I know. It was that slow quiet hug from behind that did it for you, huh?

Hugs are hugs. If you came from a family that didn't hug, then you might misconstrue what a hug is. But for me, a hug was just a hug. But back then, you shook a guys hand and gave a small hug to the girl.

I guess in today's bump and grind world, the hug is different and must be addressed.