I Sure Am Glad Hurricane Season...

Snaggletiger · « **on:** August 16, 2009, 03:41:42 PM »

will be very uneventful..according to just about every "Expert" I've heard or read from. We now have 3 named storms churning at the same time with a tropical storm about to dump a few buckets of water in the Big bend area of Florida. Just August 16th. I'm headed out to get some stuff done because it's about to get real wet around here.

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #1 on:** August 16, 2009, 04:08:32 PM »

"I told you so."

RWS · « **Reply #2 on:** August 16, 2009, 06:29:36 PM »

People are so fucking stupid down here. In the grand scheme of things, Claudette isn't shit. Just another stormy day here on the coast, really. I drove by a Tom Thumb in Foley this morning and people are lined up three deep with gas cans and shit. I'm all about preparedness, and being in an emergency service, we always encourage the public to be prepared. However, I hate it when people get all crazy over nothing.

Kaos · « **Reply #3 on:** August 17, 2009, 01:19:54 AM »

Quote from: runswithscissors on August 16, 2009, 06:29:36 PM

People are so fucking stupid down here. In the grand scheme of things, Claudette isn't shit. Just another stormy day here on the coast, really. I drove by a Tom Thumb in Foley this morning and people are lined up three deep with gas cans and shit. I'm all about preparedness, and being in an emergency service, we always encourage the public to be prepared. However, I hate it when people get all crazy over nothing.

The damn golf course was crowded too.

I needed a practice round today. Played alone.

Six stupid bastards playing together in front of me. All of them sucked. Got behind the sonsabitches on number six and they never let me play through. I was waiting, on average, seven minutes between each of my shots.

When we made the turn, I went inside, got a hamburger that had to be cooked, got some drinks, took a piss. When I came out, the stupid fucks were STILL in range. One of the cocksuckers had lost a ball in the woods so they had to look.

I birdied 17 after waiting nearly ten minutes on the shiteaters to waddle off the green.

Waited 15 more minutes while three of the six hit balls into the woods on 18 and then took a "provisional" Two of those also sailed into the forest.

When they finally got out of range (one of the fucks his the ball at least three times to get far enough ahead that I wouldn't hit them) I laid a nice drive into the fairway. And the fucking skies opened up.

Rained so damn hard I couldn't see.

I just left the ball in the middle of the fairway and hauled ass to cover. I'm talking about a bucket pouring from the sky. Claudette, I guess.

What pisses me off is that if those six motherfucking slow ass, non-golfing douchebags had let me ahead -- there was NOBODY in front of them at all -- I would have finished well before the torrential deluge. And so would they.

So, golfers, what's the protocol when there are a bunch of fucks ahead of you and they won't let you play through? Skip a hole and get in front of them? Launch bombs into their group? What?

AuburnChopper 3.0 · « **Reply #4 on:** August 17, 2009, 06:17:16 AM »

Quote

So, golfers, what's the protocol when there are a bunch of fucks ahead of you and they won't let you play through? Skip a hole and get in front of them? Launch bombs into their group? What?

Just lambaste them with beautifully composed discriptions of colorful animals doing crazy things? Maybe call them "ignorant fucks" from your keyboard in the cart?

Hmmm... I got nothin'...

(For everyone else... You call the clubhouse and get a marshall, or club employee to get them to let you through. Or, yes, if it's possible, you can go around to the next hole.)

Kaos · « **Reply #5 on:** August 17, 2009, 08:24:11 AM »

Quote from: AuburnChopper2.0 on August 17, 2009, 06:17:16 AM

Just lambaste them with beautifully composed discriptions of colorful animals doing crazy things? Maybe call them "ignorant fucks" from your keyboard in the cart?

Hmmm... I got nothin'...

(For everyone else... You call the clubhouse and get a marshall, or club employee to get them to let you through. Or, yes, if it's possible, you can go around to the next hole.)

I did the first part from my iPhone. I think I called them "ignorant cocksuckers" though in my message to my normal golfing partner. I did utilize colorful descriptions of animals engaged in acts of sexual violence against them.

I wasn't playing at a fancy course with a marshall, unfortunately. Small local course. The only employee I know was on the premises was Miss Sue who was cooking the burgers and dispensing the beer.

The saddest thing of that whole story was that none of the etiquette challenged fucks were Bama fans. Every single one of them was an Auburn fan as evidenced by their bags, shirts, caps and ball markers. I found that most disappointing.

The Bama fans (four of them) I came up behind earlier on three let me play one hile with them and then go on ahead. They had more course manners than the AU guys.

Sad.

RWS · « **Reply #6 on:** August 17, 2009, 08:45:24 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on August 17, 2009, 08:24:11 AM

I did the first part from my iPhone. I think I called them "ignorant cocksuckers" though in my message to my normal golfing partner. I did utilize colorful descriptions of animals engaged in acts of sexual violence against them.

I wasn't playing at a fancy course with a marshall, unfortunately. Small local course. The only employee I know was on the premises was Miss Sue who was cooking the burgers and dispensing the beer.

The saddest thing of that whole story was that none of the etiquette challenged fucks were Bama fans. Every single one of them was an Auburn fan as evidenced by their bags, shirts, caps and ball markers. I found that most disappointing.

The Bama fans (four of them) I came up behind earlier on three let me play one hile with them and then go on ahead. They had more course manners than the AU guys.

Sad.

Because thats how we roll. Or putt.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #7 on:** August 17, 2009, 08:55:35 AM »

One well placed drive right into the middle of their group would have done the trick.

Kaos · « **Reply #8 on:** August 17, 2009, 09:01:19 AM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on August 17, 2009, 08:55:35 AM

One well placed drive right into the middle of their group would have done the trick.

I considered it.

I'd wait for them to get off the green and i guess because I was pissed off or whatever, I played better than usual and was sitting balls down on the green. They had to be aware of it. They'd be 15 yards away and my shot would drop clean on the green they just left. It wasn't like I was going to take six or eight hacks to get out of their way. The worst hole I played yesterday I got out in six.

But those idiot fucks would practically run to the next tee box to stay ahead.

You're right. I should have launched on them.

This is related to Claudette, however. My round is incomplete because of rain associated with Claudette and some rude Auburn fans. I wonder if the busier golf course was a result of people -- like me -- making sure they got a round in before the week-long wetness came?

wesfau2 · « **Reply #9 on:** August 17, 2009, 09:48:02 AM »

Let me get this straight:

You're bent because you missed out on half a hole?

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #10 on:** August 17, 2009, 09:54:30 AM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on August 17, 2009, 09:48:02 AM

Let me get this straight:

You're bent because you missed out on half a hole?

This makes me sad that he didn't participate with us last weekend.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #11 on:** August 17, 2009, 10:16:03 AM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on August 17, 2009, 09:54:30 AM

This makes me sad that he didn't participate with us last weekend.

He would have had a stroke by hole #4.

Kaos · « **Reply #12 on:** August 17, 2009, 10:45:09 AM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on August 17, 2009, 09:48:02 AM

Let me get this straight:

You're bent because you missed out on half a hole?

Nope.

I'm "bent" as it were because six guys were playing together in front of me. Nobody was in front of them. For miles. They were Auburn guys. And they were total jackasses because they didn't have the courtesy to let a single player play through when I would have been done and gone long before they'd finished bullshitting over putts, looking at six footers from three or four angles and STILL missing.

To sum? Courtesy rules broken:

1) Six players should not play in one grouping.

2) Slower players/groups should let single riders and faster players play through. Nobody was in front of them, nobody behind me. So it wasn't like there was a traffic jam.

3) When somebody is behind you, don't fucking analyze a six-foot putt for five minutes and then miss it. And miss the three foot-comeback.

4) Auburn people should have more class and courtesy than Bama fans. Didn't work out that way yesterday. The AU guys were rude assholes. The Bama guys were civil and courteous.

5) They were not good players. I'm not either, but I don't pretend to be. I watched the bastards play. When i was drying off in the clubhouse I saw them post their scores. Four of the six posted under par rounds, one five under. The guy who posted five under hit at LEAST five shots into the woods on various holes. He hit three drives on one because he had murdered squirrels and woodpeckers with the first two. And he's "five under"? I understand fudging a bit. I understand occasionally getting a do over for a particularly bad shot. I'll look the other way on a foot wedge if the lie is horrific. But Five under? Liar. Fucking liar.

Hogwally · « **Reply #13 on:** August 17, 2009, 10:53:32 AM »

When you caught up to them on a par 3, I would have rattled my clubs, stomped the brakes, made as much noise as I could to make it obvious I was there waiting. If they didn't take that hint I would've just skipped them. You could've finished your round and played another nine in the time you waited on those shitbirds.
If you start spending your time fuming at dumbasses not doing what they're supposed to, pretty soon you don't have time for anything else.

Kaos · « **Reply #14 on:** August 17, 2009, 10:55:08 AM »

Quote from: Hogwally on August 17, 2009, 10:53:32 AM

If you start spending your time fuming at dumbasses not doing what they're supposed to, pretty soon you don't have time for anything else.

Perhaps the wisest thing ever said on this board. You have captured my essence. I would like to be your friend.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #15 on:** August 17, 2009, 11:02:38 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on August 17, 2009, 10:55:08 AM

Perhaps the wisest thing ever said on this board. You have captured my essence. I would like to be your friend.

If you do as Wally suggests, you won't be you.

Kaos · « **Reply #16 on:** August 17, 2009, 11:17:22 AM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on August 17, 2009, 11:02:38 AM

If you do as Wally suggests, you won't be you.

It's my nature to be confounded by the general dumbassity of the populace. You're correct. I'm also inclined to detail said dumbassity here.

I do, however, occasionally create my own drama with idiotic acts of my own. The Kirby incident comes to mind.

What I think is missed is that with one exception, I have no anger, no frustration, no malice. I'm not "worked up" or "about to stroke." I never need to "chill." I am chill. And even that exception doesn't anger me.

Something else to ponder. Until the last 18 months or so, I lived in the middle of the crimpson horde. For more than 30 years, I was almost always living within 40 miles of Tuscaloosa. All I saw all day long for the most part was "them."

I seriously, literally thought there as a distinct difference between us and them. That we were -- to a man -- better people in every way possible. Because the Auburn fans I was around WERE better people than the rabble mass.

Since moving -- and finding this board and AUN -- I have discovered that not all of us are. We have some of the same ridiculous caricatures, some of the same t-shirt fans, some of the same dunderheads that they do. It's been eye-opening. And to a degree, disappointing.

I would never have expected AU fans to be the classless boors on the golf course. Ever. I was shocked that they were.

Anyway, that's one of those things I think about.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 17, 2009, 11:20:28 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on August 17, 2009, 11:17:22 AM

It's my nature to be confounded by the general dumbassity of the populace. You're correct. I'm also inclined to detail said dumbassity here.

I do, however, occasionally create my own drama with idiotic acts of my own. The Kirby incident comes to mind.

What I think is missed is that with one exception, I have no anger, no frustration, no malice. I'm not "worked up" or "about to stroke." I never need to "chill." I am chill. And even that exception doesn't anger me.

You sure have a funny way of exhibiting "chill".

Kaos · « **Reply #18 on:** August 17, 2009, 11:24:16 AM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on August 17, 2009, 11:20:28 AM

You sure have a funny way of exhibiting "chill".

It's my manner of expression. That's all.

You take from it what you want.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #19 on:** August 17, 2009, 11:38:11 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on August 17, 2009, 11:24:16 AM

You take from it what you want.

The ultimate cop-out. Do you think it's possible that EVERY person on this board who reads your diatribe is walking away with the same impression because of their own personal "take"?