Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports

I just received a notice for Jury Duty

Jumbo

  • Assistant Pledge Master
  • ***
  • 10862
  • I live on the corner of Epic & Bananas.
I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« on: August 12, 2009, 07:39:18 PM »
I need to get out of it! Wes, Tayor, Howard and Steve any suggestions?
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Thrilla

  • ***
  • 2711
  • I have a touch of the consumption
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2009, 07:48:06 PM »
I need to get out of it! Wes, Tayor, Howard and Steve any suggestions?

Show up to fulfill your obligations in a Grand Dragon costume.  That should do the trick.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Argo

Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2009, 08:26:38 PM »
I need to get out of it! Wes, Tayor, Howard and Steve any suggestions?

For the love of all that is right with our justice system, if you have any type of reasoning ability whatsoever, please honor your jury duty.  The last voir dire I sat through was the most painful 2 hours of my life.  So much tragedy and stupidity in one room.   :suicide:
« Last Edit: August 12, 2009, 08:27:24 PM by Argo »
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22897
  • Bofa
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2009, 08:54:05 PM »
Your ass had better find me on that Monday at lunch time if you don't get out of it.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44541
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2009, 09:27:59 PM »
Can't speak for the Judges up there.  Down here, you have to either know someone or have a really legit excuse (Lie) to get out of it.  Worst case scenario is every time you get questioned, say you know everyone involved...you hate lawyers....I was once screwed over by the system...ask if they're sure you can't bring your .38 in the Courtroom for protection.

You won't get picked and will go home before lunch. 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Argo

Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2009, 09:49:59 PM »
Can't speak for the Judges up there.  Down here, you have to either know someone or have a really legit excuse (Lie) to get out of it.  Worst case scenario is every time you get questioned, say you know everyone involved...you hate lawyers....I was once screwed over by the system...ask if they're sure you can't bring your .38 in the Courtroom for protection.

You won't get picked and will go home before lunch. 

I always get a kick out of the people who say they'd believe a law enforcement officer's testimony over a regular person.  Works every time.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Tiger Wench

  • ******
  • 10352
  • Does this armour make my ass look big?
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2009, 10:37:06 PM »
Try telling them you are breastfeeding.  Worked twice for me.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2009, 11:06:12 PM »
You have and medical problems that a doctor can vouch for? I have had mine get me out of it before because of my back problems which makes it hard for me to sit for long periods of time. I didn't even have to go through the. Just took my doctor's letter to the clerk before the report date and she told me to even worry about showing up.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Jumbo

  • Assistant Pledge Master
  • ***
  • 10862
  • I live on the corner of Epic & Bananas.
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2009, 11:18:46 PM »
Can I say I've been robbed at gun point and I want the bastard to die! By the way judge how do you un-jam an automatic pistol?
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Tarheel

  • Pledge
  • ***
  • 4166
  • "I'm not really wise, but I can be cranky."
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2009, 11:47:50 PM »
Can I say I've been robbed at gun point and I want the bastard to die! By the way judge how do you un-jam an automatic pistol?


With respect, Jumbo, do your civic duty.  Your county needs you.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. 
-Ayn Rand

The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.
-The Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-Milton Friedman

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
-Ronald Reagan

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson

CCTAU

  • *
  • 13049
  • War Eagle!
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2009, 11:52:16 PM »
Just do your duty, ya bums.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

boartitz

  • ***
  • 2692
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2009, 01:15:03 AM »
It's part of being an American.
You may get on an interesting case. There is also a large chance that you won't be called anyways.
Around here, they have a pool that is WAY larger than they actually need.
I wish they would call me now since I am home and unemployed. It would give me something to do besides working around the place.
The last two times I have been on the list, I was working in MN and couldn't make it.
I did it once about 20 years ago and sat on a murder case. We sent that fucker off to be fried but the sentence was commuted to Life.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44541
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2009, 06:02:03 AM »
I've served twice and got on a case each time.  Jury duty is pretty cool IF you get on an a half decent case.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

BZ770

  • ****
  • 721
  • BZ770 Is The Most Interesting Person On The X
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2009, 07:02:22 AM »
I got picked for jury duty starting in 2 weeks on a Sexual Herassment trial.  Cant wait.  What's bad is it is my off week from work, so I am doing this on my off time.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Jumbo

  • Assistant Pledge Master
  • ***
  • 10862
  • I live on the corner of Epic & Bananas.
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2009, 07:12:56 AM »
I will lie to get out of my civic duty! I do have a bad back, thats not a lie.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
You'll never shine if you don't glow.

dallaswareagle

  • ****
  • 10940
  • Standing on holy ground.
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #15 on: August 13, 2009, 08:32:35 AM »
I will lie to get out of my civic duty! I do have a bad back, thats not a lie.

If you know a travel agent, and they will book a flight for you and send you the Itineray. You can use that. At least here in Texas.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Saniflush

  • Pledge Master
  • ****
  • 21656
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #16 on: August 13, 2009, 09:28:11 AM »
Tell the judge you'll make a great juror cause you can spot guilty people at a glance.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #17 on: August 13, 2009, 10:03:04 AM »
Tell the judge you'll make a great juror cause you can spot guilty people at a glance.

Tell them you can always tell by their eyes, guilty people have beady eyes.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #18 on: August 13, 2009, 10:34:49 AM »
Carry in a baby rattle...  The rattle helps you focus...  They LOVE that.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22897
  • Bofa
Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
« Reply #19 on: August 13, 2009, 11:05:34 AM »
Tell them you are against death by lethal injection, because it's too humane.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.