I've already explained this. But I will try again.
Chizik is not a smart man. Well, he's smart in that he's ripping Auburn for $2M a year, but that's because Jay Jacobs is dumber than he is.
I've known people like Chizik all my working life. I've had bosses with his mentality. I've coached against people like him.
What I see in Chizik is somebody who thinks he knows what he is doing, but the simple fact is that he does not. The problem is that you can't tell him he doesn't. It's why he says the exact same things, almost verbatim, that he said at ISU. He doesn't understand that he failed at ISU and that maybe, just maybe some of that fucking blueprint he carries around might have flaws in it. No, he can't see that nor can it be explained to him. The blueprint works. If it didn't work at ISU it's not because of the blueprint, it's because the players were assholes or the administration didn't support him or he didn't have enough good assistants or the footballs were filled with pudding. It's not the blueprint.
The second part of this equation is the focusing on minutiae. Chizik is the kind of boss who will make rules regarding paper clip distribution and TPS cover sheets. He thinks that by doing so, he's instilling discipline and establishing order. But while he focuses on the tree, the forest goes completely to fucking hell. I know Chizik because I once coached against him -- or his equivalent. His softball team all had monogrammed bags. They had a bag holder and each bag had to be turned so the team logo faced the field. Each player had to wear the exact same uniform, down to the length of the pants from the knee. If one wore a wristband, all had to wear the exact same one. Bats had to be lined up in the dugout by order of length. Helmets were arranged and lined precisely. Failure to meet any of these rules resulted in punishment running. My team was less structured. We beat the bleeding fuck out of Mr. Minutiae's team every time.
I've had bosses like that (and so have most of you). Sales are off so they start raising hell about people using TWO paper towels in the restroom instead of one. And they install the automated dispensers to cut down on excess towel usage.
I'm telling you -- as I have been from the day this was announced -- Chiz is a fuck up. Hiring him was one of the worst mistakes Auburn football has ever made. It's on par with Ole Miss hiring Ed Orgeron.
A few points only, then I'll move on because frankly my bleeding soul is aching and I just don't have it in me to point out all the dumb ass things said in this complete regergitation and re-hashed barf bag material.
1. Iowa State is not Auburn. You can call the basics of this tired, but if you believe that Chizik had the same opportunity, tools, players, support or enthusiasm behind that program, or that he just simply lost his coaching mind, and THAT's what caused Iowa State to suck balls, then this argument needs to stop, because you're just fucking stupid. (Yes, I am the KING of the run-on sentence...)
If you believe that Auburn and Iowa State are the same, I've got a model of Space Shuttle Endeavor that I'll sell you for 3.1 Billion dollars. I mean, they're both space shuttles, and I will settle for nothing less than fair market value. Call your bank and get back with me.
2. Two straight National Championship LEVEL defenses (one actual title).
3. Two straight Thorpe Award Winners.
4. The players in EVERY FUCKING ARTICLE....sound happy, content, willing to learn, or do more, even excited. They all seem to have a purpose again. Watching videos of practice, you hear instrution, intense coaching, support, even some laughing and gigging from seniors watching the younger guys. Not because of them making fun, but from encouragement and wanting them to do it better. They do NOT sound like they're being micro-managed by Lumberg. I've heard the term "kindergarten rules" from the staff and players. This doesn't sound like hardcore discipline. I have heard of attention to detail, which makes kids learn to pay fucking attention. This isn't revolutionary or stupid, it's necessary.
5. Malzahn, Thigpen, Luper, Taylor, Roof. It's a better staff. Thigpen left his alma mater to come to Auburn after Mack Brown from Texas told him he needed to come to Auburn and coach with Chizik. What does THAT fucking say Kaos? Oh, but let's rely on your softball and little league football coaching days to guide us along. It's a better staff he could never dream of even paying for at Iowa State, much less recruit them to come to such a place. Oh yeah, but Iowa State and Auburn are equals in your mind..
Look, I don't know where we'll be in a few days, let alone a year or five. I do know that I see a lot more cohesiveness on a gameplan moving forward into this year between the staff, and the players, which I'm not sure was there with Tony Franklin (regardless of the excitement going in from us). Scholarships are low, something that couldn't possibly be blamed on this staff, but could be fixed with recruiting. This staff, in my opinion shows an ability or desire to fill the empty spots with better talent. With basically no past history to work with at Auburn, they seem to be turning heads anyway. Any success this year and with open spots, I see a scholly level filled with lots of great talent down the road.
However, I'm sure taking this common sense approach to shit I do know and have seen clearly makes me a sunshine pumper of epic proportions. Whatever.
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