Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Kaos]

The Voices

Extremely odd movie with a strong cast featuring Ryan Reynolds, Anna Kendrick and Gemma Arterton (she's hot). 

It's part Dexter, part American Psycho, part Dr. Doolittle.  It tries to be comedic while it mixes in some pretty gruesome horror elements.  It never can quite figure out which fence it wants to straddle so it ends up doing neither very well. 

Pre-Deadpool Reynolds is creepy and weird.  Post Pitch Perfect Kendrick seems purposely looking to avoid being typecast.  I don't understand her.  She's not hot in any way whatsoever, but there's a quirky adorability about her I just can't pin down.  She's goofy here.  Gemma doesn't do much, but she's puffy-lipped hot. 

Mr. Whiskers and Bosco, Reynold's pets, really drive the story.  They're the animal manifestation of good and evil perching on his shoulders and giving him (really bad) advice and some profanely cruel insults. 

It's a weird one.  Any movie that features talking severed heads stored in a refrigerator has possibilities.

This film, which teetered between a Mike Judge comedy and a Wes Craven slasher, never managed to deliver on any of those intriguing possibilities.   

The tacked on ending is one of the worst final scenes I've ever encountered.  It didn't fit with the movie, its tone or anything else related to the film.  The final three minutes took at least one rating star away from a movie that had few stars to spare. 

[Jumbo]

Halloween 2018

I expected to dislike this movie just on principle.  I did not dislike it. 

Knowing ahead of time that the film essentially trashed everything from Halloween 2 to Halloween 37: Michael on the Space Shuttle helped.  After viewing this version I think rebooting by pretending that none of that ever happened was exactly the right move.  Josh Hartnett never existed, LL Cool J didn't die, Busta Rhymes never tased Michael's junk, Paul Rudd never stole a baby.  All of the big three franchises (Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare) skidded off the rails with sillier and sillier premises.  Making Michael some supernatural immortal creature (as in Halloween Resurrection) was ridiculous.  Resetting the series back to square one was, in my opinion, a brilliant move.  It allowed the film to flow naturally without having to conform to the asinine spirals of the sequel storylines.  I liked it. 

If we're being honest, the first film really wasn't great cinema.  The Omen and The Exorcist were far superior films.  But Halloween was in a class all to itself. It was sort of hokey in a lot of ways. But it was great for what it was.  It completely changed the horror genre. No, it basically created a new genre.  I loved it then and I respect it now.  And while we're being honest, part of my adoration for the film was the sight of PJ Soles exceptional frame.  I absolutely adored her.  Love, love, loved her. 

Back to 2018.  This film was pretty much standard slasher fare.  The same slasher fare that Halloween spawned 40 years ago.  Serial killer escapes, takes out his frustrations on some random teens and goes after the one that got away.  No new ground was really broken. 

I did think it was telling that one of the characters said (paraphrased) "So he killed five people 40 years ago.  By today's standards that's nothing."  I gotta tell you, I've thought the same thing about Charles Manson for years. 

What I liked most about this film was how much love it showed the original (and even some of the ignored sequels).  Not going to spoil it all, but here's a for instance.  In one scene Michael tosses Laurie off a balcony where she hits the ground with a thud and lies there motionless.  He looks down at her from the railing, looks backward at a noise in the house and when he turns to look down at the ground again, Laurie's gone.  It was a note-perfect homage to the climactic scene of the original.  Just beautiful.  There was no doubt the people directing and guiding this film had a real affection for the series.  So, so many callbacks to the original it would take a book to catalog them all.

Now, the few complaints.

1) This is a constant complaint for me.  How. The. Hell. Does. Michael. Know. How. To. Drive?/  I've been asking that since 1978 and nobody can answer me. 
2) The ending felt rushed and out of place.  Like a lot of films it felt to me like they said "Oh hell, we're at 88 minutes, got to close this out now."  It was less ambiguous than the original, but still left far too much unanswered. 
3) There were pieces and parts of the film that seemed unnecessary and/or tacked on.  The cheating boyfriend/lovelorn pal rabbit hole didn't yield any fruit and really only served to make the granddaughter look like a bitchy twat.  Also badly done and completely unnecessary was the New Loomis turn. 
4) The killings seemed a little too random.  In the first there was some sort of rationale for who he chose to take down.  Here, some of the targets seemed just to be objects of convenience rather than purpose.  That seemed out of character. 

During October I ALWAYS watch Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween III (an underappreciated film), Rocky Horror, Friday the 13th 1, 2 and 3 (my favorite because of the girl in it), The Exorcist and Trick or Treat. I've started mixing in some of the Saw movies, Hellraiser and others. 

I expect I will add this one to the mandatory list.  It's a nice bookend to the first.  I'm actually looking forward next year to watching them back to back.

I love Friday the 13th 2,3,5. Debbi Sue Vorhees in 5 is worth watching the movie. The girls in Friday 2 we’re smoking hot which girl did you like in 3?

[The Six]

I love Friday the 13th 2,3,5. Debbi Sue Vorhees in 5 is worth watching the movie. The girls in Friday 2 we’re smoking hot which girl did you like in 3?

Did you know she got fired from a teaching job YEARS later once they discovered she was nude in Part 5? 

[Jumbo]

Did you know she got fired from a teaching job YEARS later once they discovered she was nude in Part 5?

I didn’t know that but she was a smoke show back in the day.

[Kaos]

I love Friday the 13th 2,3,5. Debbi Sue Vorhees in 5 is worth watching the movie. The girls in Friday 2 we’re smoking hot which girl did you like in 3?

There's a particular look that just gets me and she has it. 

Agree strongly with Debbie Sue, too. Ball blasting hot. 

[Kaos]

The Family Man

What keeps this 18-year old movie from joining the ranks of must-see Christmas classics?  It's got all the trappings.  Story takes place in the holiday season, it's got a sappy-sentimental message about enjoying the little things in life, it features an angel, it's got a reverse style It's a Wonderful Life flavor.  All the pieces are there.  

That's part of the problem.  Despite a cute/sexy performance by Tea Leoni and the inclusion of a pre Avengers/Oceans Don Cheadle as the gun-toting angel the whole process is too formulaic.

The set up of granting the wish to change lives doesn't make sense even in the backward IAWL mode.   

But the real reason this film can't rise to the level of Christmas classic?  Two words.  Nicholas Cage.  The man simply cannot act.  He's goofy, over-emoting, giving the wrong expression for every emotion. He's just a terrible wooden actor who has zero range.  He drags this film down with his bunny in the box contortions.  

I wanted to like it for the message and for Tea, but I was buried in schmaltz and cage and couldn't get past it.  

[CCTAU]

The Family Man

What keeps this 18-year old movie from joining the ranks of must-see Christmas classics?  It's got all the trappings.  Story takes place in the holiday season, it's got a sappy-sentimental message about enjoying the little things in life, it features an angel, it's got a reverse style It's a Wonderful Life flavor.  All the pieces are there. 

That's part of the problem.  Despite a cute/sexy performance by Tea Leoni and the inclusion of a pre Avengers/Oceans Don Cheadle as the gun-toting angel the whole process is too formulaic.

The set up of granting the wish to change lives doesn't make sense even in the backward IAWL mode. 

But the real reason this film can't rise to the level of Christmas classic?  Two words.  Nicholas Cage.  The man simply cannot act.  He's goofy, over-emoting, giving the wrong expression for every emotion. He's just a terrible wooden actor who has zero range.  He drags this film down with his bunny in the box contortions. 

I wanted to like it for the message and for Tea, but I was buried in schmaltz and cage and couldn't get past it. 

I disagree. Tea Leoni in her prime pushes this one just enough to overcome the negatives.

[The Six]

There's a particular look that just gets me and she has it. 

Agree strongly with Debbie Sue, too. Ball blasting hot.

Kris was a hottie for sure. Even Jason thought so since part of the plot of Part 3 is him getting busy with her and that being the cause of her drama and trauma.

[Godfather]

I disagree. Tea Leoni in her prime pushes this one just enough to overcome the negatives.

I also have to say as much as I hate Cage, I think he pulls the part off well.  It is one of the few films I like him in. 

[Snaggletiger]

I also have to say as much as I hate Cage, I think he pulls the part off well.  It is one of the few films I like him in.

I like a few of his movies like The Rock and probably his first flick, Valley Girl.  Conair is a fun movie to me but I blame the writers/directors...or whoever thought it was an even remotely good idea to have him try that horrible southern accent. After the first line, they should have said, "You know what?  Just talk normally." His character would have been pretty decent had they just dropped it. 

[The Six]

I like a few of his movies like The Rock and probably his first flick, Valley Girl.  Conair is a fun movie to me but I blame the writers/directors...or whoever thought it was an even remotely good idea to have him try that horrible southern accent. After the first line, they should have said, "You know what?  Just talk normally." His character would have been pretty decent had they just dropped it.

Puuuuut da Bunnahe in tha baux.

[Snaggletiger]

Puuuuut da Bunnahe in tha baux.

[Kaos]

I also have to say as much as I hate Cage, I think he pulls the part off well.  It is one of the few films I like him in.

In my book Cage made three good films.  

Valley Girl
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (as Nicholas Coppola, which is the only reason anyone ever hired him)
and
Raising Arizona  (that there is a masterpiece)

[GH2001]

whoever thought it was an even remotely good idea to have him try that horrible southern accent. After the first line, they should have said, "You know what?  Just talk normally." His character would have been pretty decent had they just dropped it.

That. All of it ^^


but what about Cyrus the virus?

[CCTAU]

In my book Cage made three good films. 

Valley Girl
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (as Nicholas Coppola, which is the only reason anyone ever hired him)
and
Raising Arizona  (that there is a masterpiece)

Drive angry! That reunited me with my high school days of our lives sweetheart!

[The Six]

That. All of it ^^


but what about Cyrus the virus?

Cy-anara?

[The Six]

Rewatched Goldfinger this week. Still works.

[Godfather]

Rewatched Goldfinger this week. Still works.

Rewatched House of Whores 4, Return of Cumzilla.


You never told me your mom was in that.

[chinook]

Rewatched House of Whores 4, Return of Cumzilla.


You never told me your mom was in that.

We celebrate all her titles.  

[Kaos]

We celebrate all her titles. 

You misspelled titties.