Kaos' way behind movie reviews

AUJarhead · « **Reply #2680 on:** August 11, 2018, 08:58:44 PM »

Who did this?

Kaos · « **Reply #2681 on:** August 12, 2018, 12:13:11 AM »

Pyramid

Supposed to be a moderate-budget horror answer to the Mummy franchise.

It had its moments, but when it got to the Big Bad denouement it completely fell apart. It was Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy herky jerky bad. Just not compelling. If it had simply allowed the creature maintain itself in shadow it would have been so much better. Bringing it into the light was a huge mistake.

Story was a little oofy and there were some continuity screw ups of the kind that really, really annoy me (like the disappearing and reappearing flashlights). There was also a pointless "you're infected" rabbit hole.

Worth watching? Not really.

Godfather · « **Reply #2682 on:** August 13, 2018, 11:04:14 AM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on August 11, 2018, 08:58:44 PM

Who did this?

Who did what?

The Six · « **Reply #2683 on:** August 13, 2018, 11:09:27 AM »

Quote from: Godfather on August 13, 2018, 11:04:14 AM

Who did what?

Godfather · « **Reply #2684 on:** August 13, 2018, 11:16:46 AM »

Quote from: The Six on August 13, 2018, 11:09:27 AM

-129

The Six · « **Reply #2685 on:** August 13, 2018, 11:22:35 AM »

Quote from: Godfather on August 13, 2018, 11:16:46 AM

-129

Still better than the landshark

Godfather · « **Reply #2686 on:** August 13, 2018, 01:52:29 PM »

Quote from: The Six on August 13, 2018, 11:22:35 AM

Still better than the landshark

+100

-29 aggregate

chinook · « **Reply #2687 on:** August 16, 2018, 12:24:24 PM »

Quote from: chityeah on August 08, 2018, 09:54:53 PM

I still haven't seen this. I'm 56 and skeered.

damn bro, even I've seen it.

Kaos · « **Reply #2688 on:** August 19, 2018, 04:19:36 PM »

I, Tonya
This movie is worth the watch for the soundtrack alone. Too bad the rest of the film doesnâ€™t quite live up to the premise of the impressive array of nostalgic musical interludes.

It tries to play like a black comedy, presenting caricatures of most of the main players â€” Tonya, Jeff Gilooly, Shawn Eckhardt and Tonyaâ€™s acerbic Mom. In the caricature it gets the basic notes of the white trash outsiders crashing the rich kidâ€™s party right. And it was a good movie â€” one that if you didnâ€™t know it was basically true youâ€™d never believe it could have happened.

Margot Robbie was terrific. So was the rest of the cast.

Itâ€™s just that....itâ€™s too soon. Too soon to recast it as broad comedy. All these people are still alive. And I personally think the bigger story is the hell tonya created and overcame in rising to the top of a sport that didnâ€™t want her and didnâ€™t love her back. Even in this comedic effort it was tough watching her try to fill her gaping need to be loved â€” a need that started with her bitch of a mom.

Kaos · « **Reply #2689 on:** August 21, 2018, 11:14:19 AM »

Sharknado 6

What made Sharknado tolerable through five increasingly bizarre outings was its complete lack of pretension. It wasn't trying to be great, it was bad and it embraced that badness. The CGI was slap-dash, the dialogue purposely stilted, the plot choked with the ridiculous and improbable.

Atmospheric re-entry in the body of a shark? Why not? The constant slaughter of B, C and D list stars was absurdly entertaining. Where else could you go to watch Todd Chrisley, Chris Jericho, Lou Ferrigno, Maria Menuous, Jerry Springer, Dance Mom, Kelly Osborne, Brett Michaels and a sea of others get wiped out.

I enjoyed them for what they were. In an odd way they reminded me of the 60s Batman series (which I loved for what it was) in their self-aware campyness.

This sixth and final episode, though? It took the ridiculous and absurd and stretched it beyond what it could bear. The time-tripping, scene skipping, butterfly effecting lost me. Sharknado was always a movie franchise where you'd find yourself drifting, but this last effort never set the hook.

Tara Reid should have stayed dead. She's difficult to look at and her acting -- even purposely bad can't explain what she put on the screen. She's a total zero. She's the worst part of this movie (and when the CGI is this bad, that's saying a lot). Unfortunately she was also a big part of the movie which made it even less palatable. There are bad performances sprinkled throughout the entire 1-6 saga -- Chris Kataan as a British Prime Minister is gratingly bad, for instance. He should stick to gobbling apples and grunting. But little rivals the awful work from Tara.

The ending was a cop out, too. It was Bobby in the shower weak. Didn't like the wrapup at all.

Edited to add: Somebody forgot to tell Tori Spelling she died ten years ago and her corpse has been rotting since.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #2690 on:** August 31, 2018, 11:58:44 AM »

Bad Ass

Had one of those sleepless nights last night. So, after I stopped worrying about your problems, I sat down with the remote and looked for a movie to watch. Do you ever come across something so incredibly bad, that you just have to stop and watch, asking yourself, "Is this fo' realz?" This was one of those times. Handsome Danny Trejo plays a Vietnam War vet looking to get revenge for his best friend's murder. He spends every day trying to track down the killer, leaving a path of really beat up bad guys in his wake. Oh, the bumps and bruises he dishes out. And being that he's about 4'3" and was around 70 when the film was made, his character is 100% believable. His love interest in the movie was a girl named Amber Lamps. So.....there's that.

I finally quit watching when the bad guy stole a city bus from the terminal to escape. Trejo tells one of the bus drivers he needs his bus. The driver says, "You're that Bad Ass guy. We've all been following you. We love what you're doing. Here, take my bus." I finished up an episode of Gun Smoke after that.

Kaos · « **Reply #2691 on:** September 05, 2018, 11:30:18 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on August 31, 2018, 11:58:44 AM

Bad Ass

Had one of those sleepless nights last night. So, after I stopped worrying about your problems, I sat down with the remote and looked for a movie to watch. Do you ever come across something so incredibly bad, that you just have to stop and watch, asking yourself, "Is this fo' realz?" This was one of those times. Handsome Danny Trejo plays a Vietnam War vet looking to get revenge for his best friend's murder. He spends every day trying to track down the killer, leaving a path of really beat up bad guys in his wake. Oh, the bumps and bruises he dishes out. And being that he's about 4'3" and was around 70 when the film was made, his character is 100% believable. His love interest in the movie was a girl named Amber Lamps. So.....there's that.

I finally quit watching when the bad guy stole a city bus from the terminal to escape. Trejo tells one of the bus drivers he needs his bus. The driver says, "You're that Bad Ass guy. We've all been following you. We love what you're doing. Here, take my bus." I finished up an episode of Gun Smoke after that.

In case you didnâ€™t know, this movie was â€œa true story loosely basedâ€ on the bus incident where the Bad Ass left the guy leaking. And we never found out who the hot girl was.

Godfather · « **Reply #2692 on:** September 06, 2018, 08:48:55 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on September 05, 2018, 11:30:18 PM

â€œa true story loosely basedâ€

Kaos · « **Reply #2693 on:** September 07, 2018, 04:53:50 PM »

The Last Movie Star

I don't think I would have felt the emotion of this movie as much if I'd seen it when I was younger. It's only when you've reached that age where you look in the mirror and are sometimes surprised by what you see looking back at you that it will hit home quite as hard. It's only after your kids are grown and gone and you face that empty, echoing house that you really understand the depth of the void that was staring back at Vic Edwards in this movie.

The film tells the story of aged one-time A-lister Edwards (Burt Reynolds playing a version of himself) who gets invited to be the honoree at a Film Festival which really turns out to be just a bunch of nerds in a bar doing it on the cheap for their own just for fun. No prestige, no glamour. Edwards accepted the invite based on some misleading info (and on the advice of a badly aging Chevy Chase) hoping to get one last ride on the carousel of fame. He's not happy with what it turns out to be, but over the course of a few days he gets to examine his life and the choices he made.

So much of it could have been a documentary on the real Burt Reynolds as it interweaves clips from his movies throughout. It's hard to watch the once vibrant, wise-cracking, charismatic Edwards stagger through the waning stages of his life, bitter over the mistakes he made.

This film did a wonderful job of capturing that desolate, helpless feeling that sometimes grips you as the world rushes by and leaves you behind. They got that right. Sometimes the world moves on and you're still just standing there.

It's not a great movie. It's got its flaws. But it's a much better film than I expected. If you liked Burt, please see it.

The one thing that I most took away from this film is recognizing again what a great actor Reynolds could have been. Even as a withered shell of what he used to be, he still has an energy and presence that is hard to deny. The roguish leers and smirks that defined him are still there lurking underneath skin and bones that struggle to express them. Had he made different choices, he'd have a chance to be remembered as one of the all time greats alongside Brando, Pacino, etc. Instead he made movies that were fun. I don't see how you could watch this film and not see how good he could have been.

This is a much sadder movie than I expected it to be. If this was his last film (and I think it was), it's a pretty decent way to go out. I wish more people were aware of it and/or had seen it.

Yeah. I liked a movie. Sue me.

Kaos · « **Reply #2694 on:** September 07, 2018, 11:29:23 PM »

Upgrade

Take a half box of RoboCop, stir in a pound of of Death Wish, add three tablespoons of 2001: A Space Odyssey, blend with a dash of Terminator, a swirl of Six Million Dollar Man and a pinch of Batman and you've got Upgrade.

In a so crazy we're almost there futuristic world where virtually everything seems voice-activated and cars drive themselves, a throwback to the good old days who still loves muscle cars and is sorta baffled by technology loses his family and his mobility. We can rebuild him. We can make him better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster.

Once Upgraded he goes after the bad guys who took his family away. Sorta predictable. You could see where the path of revenge was going to lead. It was violently interesting and occasionally humorous as he got there, though. You could almost even see his Hal moment coming.

I'm sorry, Grey, I'm afraid I can't do that.

It was an entertaining enough movie. I think it would have benefited from a stronger overall cast and a bigger budget. The lead was fair enough, but there wasn't much to work with around him.

I'm glad I didn't go to the theater to see it, but it was worth the mind-numbing watch.

Kaos · « **Reply #2695 on:** September 11, 2018, 01:08:09 AM »

Minutes to Midnight

One of the random Baldwin brothers and a badly aging Richard Grieco slumming hard in a movie that featured a fringe member of the WWE crew and a badly used Ilithiya (if you watched Spartacus, you'll know her).

Group of teens travel to some weird "lodge" that was the source of some of the worst sets since 70s porn. Guy with a backpack keeps identifying himself "Travis Crenna" who's stomping about looking for a missing/murdered brother. Stringy-haired Grieco mumbles and mopes through his role as the sheriff, constantly referencing a storm that never arrives and making dire pronouncements. He's the worst part of a horrible movie. Completely unconvincing, looked like he'd rather be sitting in a corner sucking on a bong.

This is one of those movies that makes me wonder why I don't take about $800 and a cell phone and go make my own horror movie. It would have looked better than this.

A long series of continuity errors, random scenes that didn't fit, garbage dialogue, and some of the worst "acting" ever to grace a screen.

Here's an idea of how bad it is. Grieco plays a Sheriff but apparently there wasn't enough budget to get sheriff costumes or even badge stickers for the vehicles. He's just driving around in a Toyota FJ or whatever in his jeans. Apparently the entire budget was wasted on creating a mask for one of the 'bad guys.' The mask was cool enough, but completely wasted in this joke.

One of the absolute worst movies of all time.

Kaos · « **Reply #2696 on:** September 11, 2018, 01:17:28 AM »

Delirium

Topher Grace in a moderate-budget thriller.

He's been locked away for 20 years. He might be crazy. He's on meds. Are all the things he's seeing and hearing actually happening?

The movie left a lot of open holes and unraveled threads. Grace was ok. Where the movie really flopped was in the casting of his "does he really exist?" brother. The rest of the cast is adequate enough. The bro is completely out of place and pretty much ruins a movie that had some decent setups.

Dude is released from a 20-year sentence, is on house arrest, can't leave his house and within three days two different women throw themselves at him. Yeah, that's how that works.

GH2001 · « **Reply #2697 on:** September 11, 2018, 10:00:24 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on September 07, 2018, 04:53:50 PM

The Last Movie Star

I don't think I would have felt the emotion of this movie as much if I'd seen it when I was younger. It's only when you've reached that age where you look in the mirror and are sometimes surprised by what you see looking back at you that it will hit home quite as hard. It's only after your kids are grown and gone and you face that empty, echoing house that you really understand the depth of the void that was staring back at Vic Edwards in this movie.

The film tells the story of aged one-time A-lister Edwards (Burt Reynolds playing a version of himself) who gets invited to be the honoree at a Film Festival which really turns out to be just a bunch of nerds in a bar doing it on the cheap for their own just for fun. No prestige, no glamour. Edwards accepted the invite based on some misleading info (and on the advice of a badly aging Chevy Chase) hoping to get one last ride on the carousel of fame. He's not happy with what it turns out to be, but over the course of a few days he gets to examine his life and the choices he made.

So much of it could have been a documentary on the real Burt Reynolds as it interweaves clips from his movies throughout. It's hard to watch the once vibrant, wise-cracking, charismatic Edwards stagger through the waning stages of his life, bitter over the mistakes he made.

This film did a wonderful job of capturing that desolate, helpless feeling that sometimes grips you as the world rushes by and leaves you behind. They got that right. Sometimes the world moves on and you're still just standing there.

It's not a great movie. It's got its flaws. But it's a much better film than I expected. If you liked Burt, please see it.

The one thing that I most took away from this film is recognizing again what a great actor Reynolds could have been. Even as a withered shell of what he used to be, he still has an energy and presence that is hard to deny. The roguish leers and smirks that defined him are still there lurking underneath skin and bones that struggle to express them. Had he made different choices, he'd have a chance to be remembered as one of the all time greats alongside Brando, Pacino, etc. Instead he made movies that were fun. I don't see how you could watch this film and not see how good he could have been.

This is a much sadder movie than I expected it to be. If this was his last film (and I think it was), it's a pretty decent way to go out. I wish more people were aware of it and/or had seen it.

Yeah. I liked a movie. Sue me.

I have to echo this review 100%.

If youre a Burt fan - this one is a requiem, autobiography, final chapter, happy, sad - all rolled into one. Very fitting end for him.

Kaos · « **Reply #2698 on:** October 04, 2018, 02:13:40 PM »

Molly's Game

Jessica Chastain in a "based on a true story" film about a crashed skiing star (Molly Bloom) and her rise and fall in the world of big time underground poker games.

Fairly interesting, pretty well acted and a story I didn't know. Cast also included Kevin Costner, Michael Sera and Idris Elba.

Where the movie fell short was in failing to identify -- even if just in flipbook style clips -- some of the Hollywood elite who rotated in and out of her high stakes games.

Worth watching just for the story.

Kaos · « **Reply #2699 on:** October 04, 2018, 02:16:37 PM »

Solo

I feel about this movie about like I do Better Call Saul. It's not bad, but it's unnecessary and it sort of twingles (a mix of twist and tangle) some of the mythology of the originals.

If there were no Star Wars I wouldn't have cared about this story at all. It was too light and glossed over backstory the viewer was just expected to know.

It wasn't bad, it wasn't good. It was just there.

Danerys? She needs to stick to being Danerys. She hasn't been good in anything else I've seen her in.