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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2320 on: January 17, 2017, 03:11:23 PM »
Why do you hate virgins?

I don't hate them.  In fact, I think I should be rewarded with 72 of them.  I don't really want to blow myself or anyone else up to get them, though.  Just give me my virgins.


 


Women virgins.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2321 on: January 17, 2017, 03:41:19 PM »
I don't really want to blow myself

You don't want to...but you would if you had too.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2322 on: January 17, 2017, 04:22:30 PM »
You don't want to...but you would if you had too.

Bull shit.  If I could, I'd never leave the house.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2323 on: January 18, 2017, 09:28:45 AM »
I don't hate them.  In fact, I think I should be rewarded with 72 of them.  I don't really want to blow myself or anyone else up to get them, though.  Just give me my virgins.


 


Women virgins.

As I read the first part of your post, I thought, sweet, I am going to say something that is going to get me cut.  And then you went and clarified.  Damn you.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2324 on: January 18, 2017, 09:51:15 AM »
As I read the first part of your post, I thought, sweet, I am going to say something that is going to get me cut.  And then you went and clarified.  Damn you.

I know this board.  Soft toss one underhanded and BAM!  Out of the park.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2325 on: January 21, 2017, 12:35:17 PM »
Split

First the good. 

James McAvoy does a fairly amazing job.  He plays a mentally disturbed man who has 20-something personalities. Only about five of those were ever fully realized for the audience, but McAvoy managed to inhabit each completely differently.  You could usually tell just by the facial expression whether he was Hedwig, Barry, Patricia or Dennis. 

You've seen the trailers.  One of the personalities kidnaps three teenage girls and then the others interact with them as they try to figure out how to escape. 

The girls are pretty standard horror movie fare, completely forgettable.  The girl who was in The Witch is a little better, but she's still not McAvoy's equal -- and this movie needed that balance.

Now the bad. 

The mom from Eight is Enough (and the prison therapist from Oz) plays a stereotypically unaware psychiatrist with some lunatic theory about people with DID (disassociative identity disorder?).  Her clumsy handling of McAvoy's character(s) is weak. 

M. Night Shamalemaladabingbong wrote and directed and he left a lot -- a LOT -- of potentially fantastic story possibilities unturned.  The girls were given too little to do.  He kept McAvoy reined in more than he should have, there needed to be a much harder edge to some of the characters. 

The movie dragged and dragged, never truly delivering any suspense or sense of terror.  Too much was left unexplained. 

There was a backstory on the main chick that kept breaking up the drudge in some flashbacks, but it was not really relevant and could have been done so much better.  In fact, there was in my mind a major opportunity for that backstory to pay off in a decidedly shocking manner and yet he just left the string flapping in the breeze. Just didn't deliver. 

There was also a "big reveal" at the very end, but for those of us who aren't versed in M. Night Shaboolamamadingdong's catalog, it really was pointless and, in fact, added a sense of complete confusion.    As the black fellow behind me observed after the reveal "I think that was the same dude, but growed up some or maybe it was the cat what played in that Wolverines movie.." 

For some I'm sure it was cool.  For most of the people in the (theater full to the point that management held the movie and asked people move into empty seats so they could get the crowd in the lobby settled in) audience it appeared to be primarily a "what was that" moment.  Therefore?  F.A.I.L.

The movie wasn't bad and McAvoy was worth watching, but it was lacking in so many areas I just can't recommend it except when it comes out on some streaming service. 
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2326 on: January 22, 2017, 10:55:11 PM »
13 Cameras

What a creepy landlord. 

Other than that, though, this wanna be thriller fell flat. 

You need at least one person in a thriller movie to get behind or want to survive.  In this slow trudge, there just wasn't one.  I hated them all and wanted them all to die. 
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2327 on: January 23, 2017, 12:02:17 PM »
13 Cameras

What a creepy landlord. 

Other than that, though, this wanna be thriller fell flat. 

You need at least one person in a thriller movie to get behind or want to survive.  In this slow trudge, there just wasn't one.  I hated them all and wanted them all to die.


Sounds like a movie full of liberals.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2328 on: January 30, 2017, 04:55:39 PM »

Sounds like a movie full of liberals dallaswareagles.

FTFY
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chinook

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2329 on: January 30, 2017, 05:27:15 PM »
FTFY

you don't type much, my friend, put when you do it's to the point. 

i salute you. 
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2330 on: February 15, 2017, 10:54:47 AM »
Watching The Dark Knight Rises again. 

It's worse than I remember.  Tom Hardy is atrocious as Bane.  My impression of him is definitely colored by some of his subsequent work.  The stuuuuupid voice choices by him and also by Christian Bale in this film (as well as Bale's Batgrowl in the others) really detract.   Selina Kyle is horrible.  So is that punk kid from third rock. 

The movie is bloated, self-important, full of holes and absurd.  It's not a fitting end to what started well with Begins and peaked with Dark Knight.  Even in DK, as unexpectedly fantastic as Ledger was, you could feel the Nolan bloat beginning to seep in. It was too sprawling and could have used some condensation. 

Rises, for all its flaws, is still monumentally better than that disgraceful Battfleck turd floated out by Zack Snyder.  I was really hoping that DC would see the error of its ways and get rid of that assclown before it moved into Justice League, WonderWoman territory.  He's a hack. 
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The Six

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2331 on: February 15, 2017, 11:40:28 AM »
Watching The Dark Knight Rises again.

DKR should have been Batman vs. Two-Face and Batman dealing with having killed Joker (original ending of DK until Ledger died and they went with the "softer" one).
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2332 on: February 18, 2017, 09:21:52 AM »
Masterminds

Occasionally amusing film that showcased just how limited the talents of Kristin Wiig, Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon and Zach Galifarkinasklas really are. 

The film told the "true" story of David Ghantt.  It's very loosely based on a real robbery where a down-on-his-luck schmo (Ghantt) is prodded to rob the armored car company where he works.  Ghantt flees to mexico with a small amount of the stolen loot while his co-conspirators proceed to blow through the rest of the money -- and in doing so get themselves caught. 

McKinnon is a one-note character, essentially channeling the same goofy, wide-eyed, plastered-grin weirdo she played in Ghostbusters.  She's awful and adds zero to the film. 

Zach Graflelkarnabis plays a version of the same socially awkward weirdo he's done in Due Date, Hangover, and pretty much everything else.  He's done it better before. 

Wiig shows very little range and plays one of the two or three one-dimensional characters she knows how to play.  She might as well have had tiny hands and a big forehead. 

Jones performed the same big-mouth, bug-eyed screaming ugly black woman that isn't funny on SNL, wasn't funny in Ghostbusters, isn't funny in any of the commercials that have been forced on us and isn't funny at all here. 

Jason Sudekis is okay as a misguided hitman.

The biggest problem I have with this movie is that they took a really interesting true story and in a misguided attempt to add "humor" (and I use this term very, very loosely) they simply made up most of the events.  The true story is much more interesting. 

For example the scene where Sudekis mistakenly believes he and Gaplerigkanifaks are brothers and decides not to kill him didn't happen.  And it was badly done.  What really happened was that a Mexican thug hired to kill Ghantt ambushes him, but notices that the guy is wearing a Jerome Bettis jersey. Pittsburgh is the thug's favorite team and he can't bring himself to kill a guy wearing a Steeler's jersey so he tells Ghantt about the plot take him out. 

There were times I thought the directors/writers were trying to create a Raising Arizona vibe, but the film never came close to reaching the level of that masterpiece.  One "well, unless round is funny" from Arizona is a hundred times funnier than the entirety Masterminds. It was a morass of badly sketched idiots doing stupid things for "laughs."

Fail.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 09:23:37 AM by Kaos »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2333 on: February 23, 2017, 01:08:38 PM »
Spotlight was very good.  Cast was strong: Michael Keaton, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Liev Schreiber, Billy Crudup, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams.

Kind of shocking, in a Pedo State way, how many people were in on the cover-up.  Some actively participated and some just turned their heads.  The standard line was, "Look at all the good the church does for the city."

The scope and massive, systemic shuffling of these predators is pretty shocking.

You know the final news article the main characters produce, but watching them get there is worth the ride.  Well acted, well paced...very good movie.
Spotlight
Watched this last night. 

Agree on the performances and pacing for the most part.  I was not enamored with Mark Ruffalo's performance, though.  I thought he was the weakest part of the film. 

There were two things I kept coming back to on it. 

1) Everybody there, even the guys at the Globe, knew on some level that it was going on.  Maybe they didn't connect all the dots to get the scope of it, but they knew.  They just didn't do anything about it.
2) I kept thinking the whole time... "where's this 'Spotlight' group when it comes to the rampant pattern of abuse that runs from the NCAA offices to the Capstone?  Wouldn't it be great if there were two or three people somewhere with the guts to take on the Crimson Cabal in the way these guys did the church? 

Couple of things. 

I know there was a lot of ground to cover but there were times things felt a little slapdash. I needed to know more about some people/events and maybe less about others. There were places where I needed exposition that wasn't there.  Characters that really added nothing to the story and could have been jettisoned without notice.   

I was thrown off by the dangling thread of the interview with the "I didn't get any gratification out of it" priest.  That was a huge door opened and then closed with little comment. 

I also hated the score. I found it jarring and it kept some of the power of the film at bay for me because it was so tinklingly annoying. 

Still a solid movie. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2334 on: February 23, 2017, 07:22:54 PM »
The Arrival

Save yo fudgeing dollars and see this one on USA or some shoot.

"Meh" coupled with the hype equals waste of fudgeing money.

I love first-contact stories and there was a ton of potential here, but they fell on their faces with this.  Too much close-up weepy Amy.  Too much dead kid flashback.  Too much Nolan-straining.

I wish I had two more hands so I could give those titties four thumbs down.

Words can't express how right Wes is about this movie. Jesus Christ, I'd rather spend the 2 hours hitting refresh on the sga board than watch this piece of shoot again.

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2335 on: February 24, 2017, 10:05:06 AM »
Words can't express how right Wes is about this movie. Jesus Christ, I'd rather spend the 2 hours hitting refresh on the sga board than watch this piece of shoot again.
But given the choice to watch only this or Batman v Superman would you use a shotgun or a 45?
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2336 on: February 24, 2017, 10:21:57 AM »
But given the choice to watch only this or Batman v Superman would you use a shotgun or a 45?


I tried to watch both BvS and Suicide Squad this week hoping to convince myself that my prior disgust with both films was merely a matter of unrealistic expectations. 

I should have chosen the 45 caliber shotgun.
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Godfather

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2337 on: February 24, 2017, 10:51:57 AM »


I tried to watch both BvS and Suicide Squad this week hoping to convince myself that my prior disgust with both films was merely a matter of unrealistic expectations. 

I should have chosen the 45 caliber shotgun.
AS bad as Suicide Squad was I can deal with it just to look at Margot Robbie.  BvS has no redeeming qualities...none!
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2338 on: February 25, 2017, 10:28:32 AM »
Get Out

Went to see this primarily because a) it was written and directed by someone I have seen in person and b) it was filmed in Fairhope so I was interested to see if I recognized anything.

First Fairhope.  99.74% of the movie takes place at one house. It could have been anywhere. So zero Fairhope flavor.  That was a disappointment.

The rest of the movie was well done.

The dynamic between the black boyfriend and the white bread daughter wasn't entirely convincing but that may have been purposeful. There was less humor than I expected given that jordan peele wrote and directed.

The movie can't really be classified as horror given that any horror aspects didn't really begin until the last 15 minutes or so.  Instead it was a slow burn of "what's wrong with this picture" until Peele put all the pieces together in the short (in comparison) final act. 


 A little slow in places. And some small things that bothered me which I can't discuss without revealing too much. 

Still a quality effort for a first time writer/director known primarily for dumb football names. 

Worth a look.  Don't know if it's theater worthy though. 
« Last Edit: February 25, 2017, 10:40:42 AM by Kaos »
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2339 on: February 25, 2017, 10:36:03 AM »
Get Out

Went to see this primarily because a) it was written and directed by someone I have seen in person and b) it was filmed in Fairhope so I was interested to see if I recognized anything.

First Fairhope.  99.74% of the movie takes place at one house. It could have been anywhere. So zero Fairhope flavor.  That was a disappointment.

The rest of the movie was well done.  A little slow in places. And some small things that bothered me which I can't discuss without revealing too much. 

Still a quality effort for a first time writer/director known primarily for dumb football names.

G'Glester Hardunkichud approves.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."