Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[GH2001]

Wow...been reading the bottomfeeder primer, have ya?

hes not the king of extreme hyperbole for nothing my man.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

Last night "Robin Hood Men In Tights" was on TV, I saw it in the theater when it released originally.  God is it stupid, but if I fail to laugh at a blind man falling from a tree then just shoot me, because I have lived too long.

[Snaggletiger]

Last night "Robin Hood Men In Tights" was on TV, I saw it in the theater when it released originally.  God is it stupid, but if I fail to laugh at a blind man falling from a tree then just shoot me, because I have lived too long.

A true Mel Brooks classic. 

Hey Blinken

Did you say Abe Lincoln?

[Kaos]

Taken Too (2)

Liam "I'm a man I'm 80" Neeson acting like Steven Segal in a movie that would have been laughed at uproariously had Segal been the lead. It only lacked a three word title (Taken For Vengeance perhaps?) to actually be a Segal boilerplate. But because Neeson has an accent this silly film is legitimized.

If you spent money on it you got Taken Too.

[Kaos]

The Family
Deniro quit acting years ago. Once again be phoned in a performance where he plays a wise guy. Looked bored and yawned his way through it.

Michelle Pfieffer looked rode hard and put up very wet. The years haven't been kind to her. Nor has her plastic surgeon. She needs to sue. She also looked bored and disinterested in being in this film.

There was one scene that was amusing in its life imitating art sort of way but that brief amusement was hardly worth slogging through the rest of this mess.

Wasted: Tommy Lee Jones, Deniro, Pfieffer, the dude from Breakout Kings, and a girl who looked like Emma Roberts but wasn't.  Fantastic cast completely frittered away in a garbage movie.

The action was implausible and too dark for the comedic moments it tried to create. The comedy was too lame to give the action credibility. The film couldn't decide what it wanted to be and the awkward juxtapositions between bad comedy and gory action just didn't work.

Never let anybody outside the family know what you're thinking? In this case it's ok. The family flopped.

[Kaos]

Epic

Yes. If by "epic" you mean craptacular.

Only 15i minutes in and I can already proclaim this epically shitty.

Typically in Disney animation there is some effort to align the character with the person inhabiting the role. That helps lend a touch of authenticity  Here? The Indian guy from parks and rec is a big fat slug. Enough said?

I expect quality animation in these big budget big cast epics (pun intended). Here? Barely to the level of one of the Barbie animated movies -- which suck.

Waste of time.

[Kaos]

Bad Grandpa

What in the roasting carnivorous hell was Johnny Knoxville trying to do here? Improbably set up gags, Borat style "did he really just say/do that" audience reactions all mixed in with a half ass effort to tell a story that's been told a hundred times before.  Circumstances match up two dissimilar people and they find love along the way.  Yawn.

I was a little disturbed by the scenes of the kid drinking beer. Not necessary. And considering the way over the top antics  of Knoxville the audience reactions were really really tame. In one sequence he supposedly sprayed his own feces on the wall of a restaurant as the result of a farting contest gone bad. None of the other patrons of the restaurant got up to leave or did much more than shake their head in amusement. They kept right on eating. Somebody fires off a shower of dung a booth away from me and I'm coming unhinged. I won't be laughing politely and returning to my Reuben. I'm having a shit fit of my own.

I expected the sort of balls out lunacy that used to make me laugh at Jackass. Instead I got the worst of the "Johnny Knoxville makes somebody uncomfortable" skits with a kid thrown in.

JKnox does have the old man strut down pat though. There were times I could almost forget that he wasn't an 80 year old man.

[Godfather]

Bad Grandpa

What in the roasting carnivorous hell was Johnny Knoxville trying to do here? Improbably set up gags, Borat style "did he really just say/do that" audience reactions all mixed in with a half ass effort to tell a story that's been told a hundred times before.  Circumstances match up two dissimilar people and they find love along the way.  Yawn.

I was a little disturbed by the scenes of the kid drinking beer. Not necessary. And considering the way over the top antics  of Knoxville the audience reactions were really really tame. In one sequence he supposedly sprayed his own feces on the wall of a restaurant as the result of a farting contest gone bad. None of the other patrons of the restaurant got up to leave or did much more than shake their head in amusement. They kept right on eating. Somebody fires off a shower of dung a booth away from me and I'm coming unhinged. I won't be laughing politely and returning to my Reuben. I'm having a shit fit of my own.

I expected the sort of balls out lunacy that used to make me laugh at Jackass. Instead I got the worst of the "Johnny Knoxville makes somebody uncomfortable" skits with a kid thrown in.

JKnox does have the old man strut down pat though. There were times I could almost forget that he wasn't an 80 year old man.

Especially if a tomato is involved

[Kaos]

Prisoners

The only way I would want to watch this movie again is if I were being held prisoner and the only avenue of escape was to view it one more time. 

Jake Gaylynnhall mumbled and sad-eyed his way through it.  Terrance was typically terrible.  The rest was overwrought. 

Admittedly I never knew for sure who the big bad was *although I was 90% right all along, just doubted because of a few red herrings* but the acting was so bad I ended up not caring. 

[The Six]

Robocop (2014)

If 1987's Robocop was a satire of 80's excess, this version serves more as a dark, political paranoia statement.

Plenty of violence and gunplay are well mixed with the Alex Murphy story and the corporation that built him for little more than a marketing ploy to loosen U.S. Misgivings about automated patrol robots roaming the streets.

Joel Kinnaman is well suited as Murphy/Robocop and flanked by a solid supporting cast of Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Keaton, Jackie Earl Haley, and Gary Oldman, the story unfolds at a brisk but followable pace.

Set aside what you love about that original and a good time can be herby this admirable remake.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

Robocop (2014)

If 1987's Robocop was a satire of 80's excess, this version serves more as a dark, political paranoia statement.

Plenty of violence and gunplay are well mixed with the Alex Murphy story and the corporation that built him for little more than a marketing ploy to loosen U.S. Misgivings about automated patrol robots roaming the streets.

Joel Kinnaman is well suited as Murphy/Robocop and flanked by a solid supporting cast of Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Keaton, Jackie Earl Haley, and Gary Oldman, the story unfolds at a brisk but followable pace.

Set aside what you love about that original and a good time can be herby this admirable remake.

But like I asked before, does a bad guy get drenched in toxic waste and run over by a car?  Because I'm not going unless that happens. 

[The Six]

But like I asked before, does a bad guy get drenched in toxic waste and run over by a car?  Because I'm not going unless that happens.

If you go again expecting them to recreate the 1987 experience, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

But if you go in expecting them to do a real remake - take the original, update it, sprinkle in new or different subtext - then you will enjoy.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

If you go again expecting them to recreate the 1987 experience, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

But if you go in expecting them to do a real remake - take the original, update it, sprinkle in new or different subtext - then you will enjoy.

So it doesn't happen?  Not going.

[Kaos]

Pompeii

Eh.

[dallaswareagle]

Pompeii

Eh.

TL;DR

[Kaos]

Kick Ass 2

Toss out everything that made Kick Ass a surprisingly cool little movie, pile on layers of violence, brutal murders played for a goof, a dash of Carrie, some wasted talent and a hackneyed story and you've got Kick Ass 2.

It was a horrible follow up to a decent little movie. If Kick Ass 2 had come out before Kick Ass there never would have been a sequel. It was just bad. Couldn't find a single redeeming feature.

[GH2001]

Curious of Kaos' take of Non Stop. Mine?

For an action flick it was decent. Good not great. Had a few plot holes in it that slightly aggravated me. Neeson was great as usual playing the gruff Air Marshall of a commercial jet. The ending was average. It's def a whodunit the whole movie with about a dozen red herrings thrown in along the way. I think people getting bent out of shape over the ending is way overblown. Politically speaking anyway. I saw no real agenda other than a wacko trying to prove a point to an entire country via extreme means. It's happened before. Big whoop.

[Snaggletiger]

I wanted to see some reviews before plunking down the cash to see this one.  Regardless of the actors, I'm always wary of any movie that takes place almost exclusively on a plane, bus, train etc. 

[GH2001]

I wanted to see some reviews before plunking down the cash to see this one.  Regardless of the actors, I'm always wary of any movie that takes place almost exclusively on a plane, bus, train etc.

I didn't regret it. Like I said it was good. Not great. Neeson is worth it alone. 

I started not to based off some negative reviews of the ending but said screw it and went anyway. The political complaints about the ending are seriously overblown. I wouldn't let that detract anyone.

[Godfather]

Does it have snakes on it?