Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[GH2001]

The Hunger Games

First time I've seen this and never read any of the books. 

If Dr. Seuss did a lot of LSD and got really mean and paranoid this would have been the result. 

The movie was:
Poorly written
Poorly filmed
Poorly staged
Poorly acted
Poorly developed

Festering neon garbage. 

I have no idea what possible allure this film had for anyone or why there would be any anticipation whatsoever for the followup to this electric tripe. 

Jennifer Lawrence can be awesome (Winter's Bone) or she can be blank-faced and vapidly terrible (House at the End, X-Men) and here she was just plain-faced terrible. 

I'm sorry I wasted time on this painted turd and I won't bother to read the books (although I'm told they're airy enough you can read all three in a matter of an hour or two). 

Garbage.

Saw House at End last night on Netflix.

You would be correct. Her performance was dead. And she even drug Shue along with her although I still have the hots for her and she wasn't AS bad. Sad too because it was a decent plot albeit predictable - it still could've been executed better.

[Kaos]

Fierce Creatures

Essentially A Fish Called Wanda set in a zoo. 

Curtis, Kline, Cleese, Palin.  At one point Cleese even calls Curtis' character Wanda (instead of Willa, which is her name here). 

Take Palin's stuttering character and make him a chatterbox who won't shut up.  Change the fish for a marmoset.  Basically the same movie. 

Not quite as funny as Fish but there was something about Curtis beginning in 1983 (Trading Places) and ending prior to 1999 (Virus/Halloween H20 when she cut her hair off) that I liked.  And this movie, released in 1997, was right at the end of the Curtis wheelhouse.  Liked her and liked looking at her in this.

Add former Law & Order assistant DA Carey Lowell in a bra and garters and there's an interesting mix. 

I liked Fish Called Wanda and I'm a little surprised that I never ever ever heard of Fierce Creatures before it showed up on some channel in the middle of my insomnia. 

Wasn't great, wasn't bad, just missed the edge that Fish had and I guess it just dissolved in the wake of that. 

For the record, Fish made about 63 million in domestic box office.  Fierce made 9. 

Thus ended the Kline, Cleese, Palin, Curtis pairings. 

[Godfather]

Fierce Creatures

Did I time warp back to the 90's?

[Kaos]

Life of Pi

Was there a tiger? Did you see one?

Amazing visually. Wish I had seen it in theaters just for the 3d visual aspect.

Pretty simple and somewhat ambiguous story. 

Tiger? What tiger?

[Kaos]

Man of Steel

I did not like the trailers I saw for this movie.  Early reviews are out and it is getting absolutely raped. 

I will, therefore, not be seeing it. 

I'm a DC guy.  Batman was my hero.  I didn't care at all about the Marvel comic universe.  Films, though?  Other than the Spiderman abominations -- and let's face it, they've all been abominations from the goofy gimp Toby to the pumpkin-faced Kirsten Dumps to even Emma Stone -- the Marvel film franchise is a much better product. 

I prefer Marvel's glib and flip IronMan to DC/Nolan's muddled, brooding and ridiculously intense Batman (with the exception of the unhinged performance by Heath Ledger).   The Batman films are good but they lost their sense of fun.  IronMan found it and used it well. 

Yeah Thor was a bit of a dud and Captain America a flaccid mess and all of the Hulks unwatchable but the Avengers assembled was a huge payoff.  The subsequent Thor and CA films look to have benefited from that spark. 

Superman of Steel looked like stale turtle piss out of the gate and I'm not surprised to see it termed "Man of Stink," and Superdud.  Not surprised at all to see it panned as terribly boring.  Superman IS a boring turd.  Even his main rivals are pedestrian. 

It might be nice if we lived in a world where a Superman could still inspire people with his do-goody ways. We don't.  And this movie will be DOA.   

Does that mean there will be no Justice League if this flops?  Because I could live with that. 

[Jumbo]

Man of Steel is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

[Godfather]

Man of Steel is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

and you own Caddyshack 2 on DVD.

[Jumbo]

and you own Caddyshack 2 on DVD.

Caddyshack 2 is a better movie than Man of Steel, not close to being funnier.

[Kaos]

Monsters University

Imagine if they leeched all the heart and soul out of Monsters, Inc.  Imagine if they drained it of the emotional connection. Imagine if they excised the action and drama.  Imagine if they made Revenge of the Nerds without Booger or Takashi or Lamar or Betty.  And then drop a rung or two below that. 

There was no need to make this movie other than to wring cash out of the family-film crowd.  It didn't have any of the qualities that made Monsters Inc. such a good movie. 

I read somewhere that this film was Pixar's chance to resurrect the magic after the dreadful/awful Cars 2.  Swing. Miss. No magic.  It failed to connect. 

I hate that because the first Monsters is one of my favorites.   

[AU_Tiger_2000]

Monsters University

Imagine if they leeched all the heart and soul out of Monsters, Inc.  Imagine if they drained it of the emotional connection. Imagine if they excised the action and drama.  Imagine if they made Revenge of the Nerds without Booger or Takashi or Lamar or Betty.  And then drop a rung or two below that. 

There was no need to make this movie other than to wring cash out of the family-film crowd.  It didn't have any of the qualities that made Monsters Inc. such a good movie. 

I read somewhere that this film was Pixar's chance to resurrect the magic after the dreadful/awful Cars 2.  Swing. Miss. No magic.  It failed to connect. 

I hate that because the first Monsters is one of my favorites.

It may not be all Pixar's fault.  I read that when they partnered with Disney (and are now owned by Disney) then Disney got the rights to all the Pixar characters and the rights to make sequels with no input from Lassiter and company.

[Kaos]

World War Z

Better than I expected.

Fast zombies. Reminded me of crazy ants.  Less gore than most zombie movies. Less than a typical episode of Walking Dead.

I tend to like brad Pitt in certain roles. He's good in this. Made it almost to the end without the obligatory scene of him eating or drinking something. Even that was added well and drew a laugh.

The best part of the movie experience was the chubby ginger loudmouth barely teen and his outkicked-the-coverage-so-far-he-had-to-be-rich date who was all braggart before the film started and was reduced to squeaking "holy sh!t" at various times.

I like zombie movies. This had plot gaps the size of Colorado but was still intense and engaging enough to navigate past them.

Worth seeing.

[chinook]

World War Z

Better than I expected.

Fast zombies. Reminded me of crazy ants.  Less gore than most zombie movies. Less than a typical episode of Walking Dead.

I tend to like brad Pitt in certain roles. He's good in this. Made it almost to the end without the obligatory scene of him eating or drinking something. Even that was added well and drew a laugh.

The best part of the movie experience was the chubby ginger loudmouth barely teen and his outkicked-the-coverage-so-far-he-had-to-be-rich date who was all braggart before the film started and was reduced to squeaking "holy sh!t" at various times.

I like zombie movies. This had plot gaps the size of Colorado but was still intense and engaging enough to navigate past them.

Worth seeing.

 

[Kaos]

Despicable Me 2

Compared to the lackluster Monsters University, this was a fantastic film.  Compared to its predecessor Despicable Me, the sequel lacked the depth of the original. 

In the first, the storyline was the gradual redemption of a "bad" character won over by the innocence of three young girls he originally meant only to exploit and then cast away. 

There was no redemption story in this film. He was already redeemed and that made Gru much less interesting. The girls, so central to the first film, were given little to do. All the best minion moments made it to the trailers. 

The minions are funny, though, and their antics are what elevate this film above the sluggardly Monsters U and make this otherwise drab story worth watching. 

The theater was completely full for the Friday showing I attended, the first time I've seen a full theater since Heath Ledger's Batman turn. 

[Kaos]

The Lone Ranger

Very problematic.

Too much Depp who was unconvincing as Tonto. Too much violence. Not enough resolution. Too little interest in the characters or their motivations. Way, way, way, way too long. 

Don't remember the Lone Ranger being a befuddled do-goody buffoon. 

Just took the character in a completely wrong direction, relied too much on Depp's deadpan Tonto and muddled around with the story and a completely unnecessary "my brother's wife has the hots for me" crap diversionary storyline.  Stupid.  The love interest angle was okay, but making her his brother's betrothed?  Pffftttttt. 

Fair movie but I wouldn't bother watching it again.  Ever.

[The Six]

The Lone Ranger

Could have told you this was awful from the trailers. Depp jumped the shark long ago and the tall guy from The Social Network doesn't really move the needle.

Disney needs a clue.

[Token]

IMO, Depp will forever be Jack Sparrow.  It's like that character as over taken him.  Tonto looked like Jack Sparrow trying to be an Indian. 

[JR4AU]

The Lone Ranger

Very problematic.

Too much Depp who was unconvincing as Tonto. Too much violence. Not enough resolution. Too little interest in the characters or their motivations. Way, way, way, way too long. 

Don't remember the Lone Ranger being a befuddled do-goody buffoon. 

Just took the character in a completely wrong direction, relied too much on Depp's deadpan Tonto and muddled around with the story and a completely unnecessary "my brother's wife has the hots for me" crap diversionary storyline.  Stupid.  The love interest angle was okay, but making her his brother's betrothed?  Pffftttttt. 

Fair movie but I wouldn't bother watching it again.  Ever.

Agree.  Definitely not worth the watch unless you see it on the big screen IMO.

[The Six]

Katy Perry: Part of Me 

Caught this on the Flixnets. For the first 20 minutes, I was sure you had lost your mind. Then, I saw what you were getting at.

For the record, you have still lost your mind but that was a fun peek inside of her touring life and props to her for not shying away from the ugly stuff in her personal life.

[chinook]

Agree.  Definitely not worth the watch unless you see it on the big screen IMO.

so your sayin' it's worth to pay money to see it on the big screen rather than spend a dollar on it a couple of months and watch it at home...? 

[Saniflush]

so your sayin' it's worth to pay money to see it on the big screen rather than spend a dollar on it a couple of months and watch it at home...?

He's not the best color guy in the business for nothin' folks.