Kaos' way behind movie reviews

AUJarhead · « **Reply #2620 on:** May 02, 2018, 02:25:29 PM »

Quote from: chinook on May 02, 2018, 01:49:27 PM

ugggghh your scenario would have added 2 movies to my list.

Like you would watch them, anyway.

Kaos · « **Reply #2621 on:** May 07, 2018, 04:11:58 PM »

Jumanji

Been told over and over how awesome this movie was, how funny it was, how this and that.

It wasn't bad, but it wasn't exactly great either. Some cute fish-out-of-character moments, some occasional decent action scenes, a funny line or two. Harmless bubble gum movie. I'd watch it again, but wouldn't buy it.

The best part of the movie was Nebula Croft. Ummm, whatever her name was. I sort of forgot what she called herself, lost in the looking at her.

She's not shockingly beautiful or classically stunning but the movie would have been imminently less watchable without her on the screen. I always sort of figured Nebula was hot, but never really looked beneath the blue and purple machinery. My mistake!

CCTAU · « **Reply #2622 on:** May 07, 2018, 04:41:59 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on May 07, 2018, 04:11:58 PM

Jumanji

Been told over and over how awesome this movie was, how funny it was, how this and that.

It wasn't bad, but it wasn't exactly great either. Some cute fish-out-of-character moments, some occasional decent action scenes, a funny line or two. Harmless bubble gum movie. I'd watch it again, but wouldn't buy it.

The best part of the movie was Nebula Croft. Ummm, whatever her name was. I sort of forgot what she called herself, lost in the looking at her.

She's not shockingly beautiful or classically stunning but the movie would have been imminently less watchable without her on the screen. I always sort of figured Nebula was hot, but never really looked beneath the blue and purple machinery. My mistake!

Nebula croft? Cute.
It was a fun movie. Nobody said it was "Gone With the Wind"!
My god man, what does it take to give you basic entertainment.

Kaos · « **Reply #2623 on:** May 07, 2018, 05:23:05 PM »

Quote from: CCTAU on May 07, 2018, 04:41:59 PM

Nebula croft? Cute.
It was a fun movie. Nobody said it was "Gone With the Wind"!
My god man, what does it take to give you basic entertainment.

Ummm... I said the movie was pretty good. I liked it well enough.

That's about the best you get around here.

Please note that I did not utilize the easy "ask your wife" response to the third line of questions. I'm not going to be the one who picks all the low hanging fruit.

BTW? This is just adorable.

Kaos · « **Reply #2624 on:** May 07, 2018, 05:54:04 PM »

Dallas Buyer's Club

Really tough subject matter.

It sort of disgusts me to see these actors (Christian Bale and Charlize Theron included, even though neither was in this) lose and/or gain all this weight to play a part. I really don't think McBongahey has been the same since he dropped the weight. The dude was 185 (healthy) and dropped down to 130ish. That's ridiculous. Same with Leto. It messed up their minds.

From what I've read, the story was essentially true with the exception of the fact that Jared Leto's character didn't really exist and some of the other incidents were either fabricated or repurposed to make the story move.

Again, really tough subject matter. Can't argue with any of the performances as difficult to watch as they were. The story was compelling, the characters, as disgusting as some of them sort of were, resonated. The fight to get the proper medicines and treatments for AIDS patients was difficult. Any time you're dealing with a disinterested obstructionist government that's the way things go.

Decent movie. Good acting. Difficult to watch.

CCTAU · « **Reply #2625 on:** May 08, 2018, 12:22:31 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on May 07, 2018, 05:23:05 PM

Ummm... I said the movie was pretty good. I liked it well enough.

That's about the best you get around here.

Please note that I did not utilize the easy "ask your wife" response to the third line of questions. I'm not going to be the one who picks all the low hanging fruit.

BTW? This is just adorable.

Yeah well. About the wife comment, you pull that off and you'll be helping with the bills buddy!

Kaos · « **Reply #2626 on:** May 08, 2018, 09:26:17 AM »

Quote from: CCTAU on May 08, 2018, 12:22:31 AM

Yeah well. About the wife comment, you pull that off and you'll be helping with the bills buddy!

Godfather · « **Reply #2627 on:** May 08, 2018, 12:00:09 PM »

Watched Black Panther, I thought it was a whole lot of meh myself. Personally, I thought the character was good in Civil War and Infinity War, but just didn't do much for me as a stand-alone character. Would much rather have seen a Hulk standalone/reboot with Mark Ruffalo. Lots of people liked it though so.

and even though you have already said this I will concur, Kaos you will not like this movie whatsoever.

ssgaufan · « **Reply #2628 on:** May 08, 2018, 01:06:08 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on May 07, 2018, 05:23:05 PM

Ummm... I said the movie was pretty good. I liked it well enough.

That's about the best you get around here.

Please note that I did not utilize the easy "ask your wife" response to the third line of questions. I'm not going to be the one who picks all the low hanging fruit.

BTW? This is just adorable.

I've seen that look many times, it's the look of shock from seeing a tiny penis.

Kaos · « **Reply #2629 on:** May 18, 2018, 09:20:54 AM »

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

Excellent Adventure was a quirky, dumb, clever, funny movie with a silly simplistic plot. Two doofuses need help passing a history course so they take a bumbling trip through time showing their ignorance and learning along the way.

Bogus Journey was none of that. It was strained, it was forced, it was dumb without any of the clever or quirky and not much of the funny.

The best part of the movie was Death. Beating Death at Battleship, Clue and Twister was amusing. The rest of the film struggled to find its footing.

There were a lot of great teen movies in the late 80s and early 90s. From Taps to Fast Times to Last American Virgin to Valley Girl to Excellent Adventure to Breakfast Club to Ferris. Bogus Journey just wasn't one of them.

Jumbo · « **Reply #2630 on:** May 19, 2018, 05:53:57 PM »

No Deadpool 2 review?

wesfau2 · « **Reply #2631 on:** May 20, 2018, 10:56:14 AM »

Quote from: Jumbo on May 19, 2018, 05:53:57 PM

No Deadpool 2 review?

It's awesome. It's everything you expect (unless you're a meganerd, I'm sure those folks have plenty to whine about.)

chinook · « **Reply #2632 on:** May 21, 2018, 02:44:22 PM »

Quote from: Jumbo on May 19, 2018, 05:53:57 PM

No Deadpool 2 review?

Some people have Timberlake and 7th grade basketball. Geez ...

AUJarhead · « **Reply #2633 on:** May 21, 2018, 02:49:01 PM »

Quote from: chinook on May 21, 2018, 02:44:22 PM

Some people have Timberlake and 7th grade basketball. Geez ...

As of about one hour ago, she's in 8th grade, fuck you very much.

Kaos · « **Reply #2634 on:** May 29, 2018, 11:28:32 AM »

The Commuter

Telegraphed twists. Illogical setups. Another pedantic "one man against the world" boiler.

Leesom Neesom is getting too old to play the heroic brawler.

Big, talented cast wasted in fringe roles.

And oh? When that train went off the rails? They all died. Anything after that was just somebody's dream or something. They all died.

Godfather · « **Reply #2635 on:** May 29, 2018, 11:35:29 AM »

Solo

Meh. Long movie.

Kaos · « **Reply #2636 on:** June 01, 2018, 12:27:43 AM »

Raw

Still in search of a good horror movie. The trailer showed some gruesome promise, the reviews were generally good.

Raw is a French entry in the genre. Meme les francais font de mauvais films. Pourquoi la bonne horreur est-elle si difficile?

The basic storyline:

Sixteen year old Justine heads to universite to be a veterinarian like her mom and dad. She's the good student, the promised one, the brilliant child. Her sister is already there a year or two ahead. The entire family are strict vegetarians, a fact established in a silly and overlong restaurant scene.

During the first week or so, the new vet students are relentlessly hazed by the upper classmen. Who knew hell week was a thing for French vets to be? Justine finds her sister at a rave-type party on the first night during a far-too-long hazing scene and it's pretty apparent that big sis Alexa is not quite in control. She's definitely not meek and studious like her baby sister.

As part of a one of the near constant hazing scenes, Justine the vegetarian veterinarian is forced to eat a piece of rabbit kidney.

Things go off the rails after that. Justine finds out she likes meat. Raw. Thus the title.

During an uncomfortable bikini waxing scene (one that featured a dog twice sniffing Justine's crotch in sequences that appeared to be unscripted and just left in for no reason) little Justine gives in to her newly formed taste by snacking on a finger sandwich.

Despite the gushing reviews that called this film groundbreaking, genre-defining and other superlatives, nothing that happens in this film hasn't been done elsewhere and in many cases done better. The series Zombie is a much more clever take on this whole concept.

The film was badly cut in the editing room. There were random scene threads that simply didn't go anywhere or mean anything. One in particular dealt with the question of who was cheating on a vet paper. There was no point to include that scene, it had no correlation to anything else in the movie. The pacing was terrible. And there were so many things that just didn't make any sense at all. No way would any universite allow much of the behavior on display.

It was a French film so there were some weird components like underarm hair, a random boobs popping out, people wandering around in panties and cutoff shirts, etc. And a sorta gay dude with another rabbit hole side story.

French movies are awful.

Kaos · « **Reply #2637 on:** June 02, 2018, 12:55:18 AM »

Deadpool 2

Was it as good as the first Deadpool film?

No. But only because the comedic value of seeing "Directed by: Some Asshole" is less impactful the second time you see it done. While the movie continued to tread the same joyous 'wink at the camera' debauchery that made the original so unexpectedly entertaining, it never really stepped out of those tracks.

It was more of the same which -- while wildly entertaining at times -- didn't break any new ground.

Holy PISS Morena Baccarin can be hot. Hard to believe she was married to some dick-ugly Islama-Guido douchebag and is now married to the dude from Gotham.

Sorry. Got sidetracked.

Ryan Reynolds is perfect for this part. I don't think I much like him or would like him in anything else. It's a perfect marriage of character and actor.

The movie was really creative. It trampled all over hundreds of pop culture references. What was odd to me was that some of the ones I caught and laughed at went right over the heads of the teens/twenties in the theater audience and then there were things they thought were hilarious that I didn't really get. He skewered most of the DC and Marvel universes and did so with reckless abandon.

The story was decent, but I had a problem with the fat kid. I had no sympathy for or empathy with him at all. Mostly wanted him to die in a horrible way for a good part of the movie. And still for that matter.

All in all, it was a very entertaining film. I'd watch it again. But it doesn't touch the original simply because the original was so.... original. This edged close to almost being a parody of a parody of itself at times.

There will be a Deadpool 3, but I don't know that it's the best idea. Better to go out while people still want you. Like George Costanza.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #2638 on:** June 02, 2018, 01:23:37 AM »

Mostly agree with the above. Didn't break any new ground but it managed to keep it wildly entertaining for 2 hours.

One thing about DPI and 2. They were both funny as hell. But 5 years from now, we won't be quoting anything from either movie. This is fast moving, quick hitting one-liners that you laugh at and quickly prepare for the next one. We quote Caddyshack, Blazing Saddles, Coming To America and numerous other comedy standards. These don't fit the mold.

Not a put down of either DP movie. Loved the hell out of both. It's just that neither will be a "Classic" in the sense of comedy movie legends. But damn, that was 2 hours of fun.

Kaos · « **Reply #2639 on:** June 02, 2018, 01:31:52 AM »

Dunkirk

Could have been a really good war movie.

Good acting, a story that deserves telling. Just not like this.

Christopher Nolan isn't as smart as he thinks he is. Give me a consistent narrative told in some semblance of natural order and I'm on board with this. But his mind-trippy bouncing back and forth in stories without keeping them in an order that makes logical sense can kiss my entire ass.

I liked Memento because it was different. Then Nolan twisted stuff all around with the not-nearly-as-brilliant-as-people-pretended-it-was Inception. It was like Emperor's New Clothes. Everybody was afraid of looking uncultured so they heaped praise on something they didn't understand because it was 'daring.' No. It was stupid. Interstellar was overstuffed garbage, again wrongfully praised.

I give Nolan credit for making the single best Batman film in history (the second of his trilogy) but he still made numerous missteps in that series. Like all his movies they were too long and the final one was a mass of bloated puffery. It doesn't hold up at all. It's bad, actually.

I quit on Dunkirk and won't ever go back to finish it. The failure of this movie to resonate falls squarely on the squirrely time-fiddling machinations of Nolan. Somebody needs to get hold of him and rein his tendencies in.