Kaos' way behind movie reviews

The Jungle Book

Disney's 1967 version of The Jungle Book is my all time favorite animated film. I love the movie and don't care that portions of it were recycled in their entirety in Robin Hood (which I also liked). I loved the movie so much I had stuffed versions of Baloo, Bagheera and Louie when I was a kid. I still have Baloo.

So it was with no small trepidation that I finally agreed to go see the new live action version tonight.

I wish I'd seen it sooner.

I expected to be put off by the CGI because the trailer made it look a little spotty. Nope. It was 1000% amazing. Easy to believe every one of the creatures was real. Immersed in the characters and the setting.

I expected to be disappointed in the story changes. Nope. It retained enough of the heart of the animated version to be properly reverent to it, but differed in enough ways to keep it interesting and entertaining.

I expected to lose focus when Bill Murray did the voice of Baloo. Bill Murray, you know. Nope. Within a line or two he became Baloo and I forgot Murray was behind it.

Shere Khan was outstanding. Scary ass tiger rendered expertly and voiced by Idris Elba who oozed menace.

Mowgli was also pretty amazing. How that kid performed like he did against essentially nothing? Fantastic job by the director.

Which brings me to the director. I should have known that the film I loved from my childhood wasn't going to be shit on when I saw Jon Favreau directed it. Favreau has a really good touch.

It's worth seeing in the theaters no doubt.

Amazing movie. Maybe it wasn't necessarily "needed" and I was one of those who was aggravated when the movie was announced, but I can't complain after seeing it. The movie didn't detract from my memories and it stands on its own just fine.

Godfather · « **Reply #2166 on:** May 19, 2016, 10:46:32 AM »

AUTiger1 · « **Reply #2167 on:** May 19, 2016, 12:53:15 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on May 18, 2016, 11:56:40 PM

The Jungle Book

Disney's 1967 version of The Jungle Book is my all time favorite animated film. I love the movie and don't care that portions of it were recycled in their entirety in Robin Hood (which I also liked). I loved the movie so much I had stuffed versions of Baloo, Bagheera and Louie when I was a kid. I still have Baloo.

So it was with no small trepidation that I finally agreed to go see the new live action version tonight.

I wish I'd seen it sooner.

I expected to be put off by the CGI because the trailer made it look a little spotty. Nope. It was 1000% amazing. Easy to believe every one of the creatures was real. Immersed in the characters and the setting.

I expected to be disappointed in the story changes. Nope. It retained enough of the heart of the animated version to be properly reverent to it, but differed in enough ways to keep it interesting and entertaining.

I expected to lose focus when Bill Murray did the voice of Baloo. Bill Murray, you know. Nope. Within a line or two he became Baloo and I forgot Murray was behind it.

Shere Khan was outstanding. Scary ass tiger rendered expertly and voiced by Idris Elba who oozed menace.

Mowgli was also pretty amazing. How that kid performed like he did against essentially nothing? Fantastic job by the director.

Which brings me to the director. I should have known that the film I loved from my childhood wasn't going to be shit on when I saw Jon Favreau directed it. Favreau has a really good touch.

It's worth seeing in the theaters no doubt.

Amazing movie. Maybe it wasn't necessarily "needed" and I was one of those who was aggravated when the movie was announced, but I can't complain after seeing it. The movie didn't detract from my memories and it stands on its own just fine.

I took my sons to see it. Expected it to horrible and for Hollywood to ruin it. Felt the same as you when I left.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #2168 on:** May 19, 2016, 02:26:31 PM »

Quote from: AUTiger1 on May 19, 2016, 12:53:15 PM

I took my sons to see it. Expected it to horrible and for Hollywood to ruin it. Felt the same as you when I left.

Don't use your sons to make you look better. You know you went by yourself.

Kaos · « **Reply #2169 on:** May 23, 2016, 11:04:37 AM »

The Offering

Horror. Mistake.

Incoherent plot. Horrible acting.

Some ridiculous nonsense about the Tower of Babel rising again by people killing themselves on video because they were sick and coming back in seven days and because the new international language was binary code which was basically building the tower of babel again, but that was forgotten about and the people weren't coming back in seven days and there was this lame demon who possessed people and it possessed this girl who had a terrible disease that her mom had and the detective showed her super reporter sister a video of the mom's suicide that happened after she divorced her husband but the kid used a flashlight and then people hung themselves and there was a priest and a Chinese guy and the kid channeled her inner exorcist and the demon ummmm.... I don't know.

Just awful.

The Tower of Babel story and making binary the new global language angle would have interested me. I think the story of the Tower is one of the most intriguing in the Bible. I've often tried to figure out Genesis 11:6

â€œAnd the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.â€

Why? Why would God want to limit our ability to "do" things, whatever they might be? Was it just because people were turning away from God because they were impressed with their own abilities? Isn't that part of what's happening today given our technological advances and the "science" crap where we think we have things figured out and the hubris to imagine we can change them?

I could see a movie where the international use of binary opened a door for demons.

But no, that was just one of the random elements thrown into this convoluted garbage dump of a movie and then it was basically discarded and glossed over.

Do not watch.

Kaos · « **Reply #2170 on:** May 30, 2016, 08:39:55 AM »

The Nice Guys

I go to the movies to be entertained. And I was. Very much so.

Of course the trailer gives away too many of the good parts, but that's typical unfortunately.

Ryan Gosling (who has never impressed me as much as some people) was really good here. Russell Crowe, looking much more like John Goodman than a Gladiator, isn't great but better than in a lot of roles I've seen him. I hate him by the way. He gained 65 pounds for the role because "he wanted to look different than Gosling" and then lost it after the filming wrapped. Who does that? Does he not know how hard it is for normal people to do shit like that?

Anyway... The girl playing Gosling's daughter was really good too.

Not going to give away the story, but essentially two bottom feeders team up in trying to find the same missing person. And they do, sort of, but that embroils them in a much larger issue that puts both (and the daughter) in danger.

There were odds and ends of the story that weren't fleshed out enough and some pieces were left hanging. And the end felt like a bit of a letdown.

But it was funny and intriguing. Was easy to watch and enjoy. I'd see it again and recommend it.

Kaos · « **Reply #2171 on:** May 30, 2016, 08:58:26 AM »

The Exorcism of Molly Hartley

Yes, it lifted much from the hundreds of exorcism movies that have come since Linda Blair spewed pea soup all over Jason Miller. In fact there's a pea soup exercise in this one. It even stole the general musical tone of the original Exorcist.

It hit all the standard marks. Flesh disfiguration, demon strapped to a bed, puke, growling, levitating, holy water splashing, bees (flies/bugs), eyes whited out, and so on.

Nothing we haven't seen before. But...

It packaged the thing pretty well, the effects were good, it tossed in a different ending when you thought the movie would have been over. The actors weren't great, but all were capable and committed. This one was better than the normal horror schlock you get on Netflix when you pick a movie you haven't heard of before. It wasn't great, but horror's a tough thing. If you're going to steal, steal from the best. This did. Sort of a low-rent Exorcist. I wouldn't say rush out and watch it, but I've seen much much worse.

Godfather · « **Reply #2172 on:** May 31, 2016, 02:13:54 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on May 30, 2016, 08:39:55 AM

He gained 65 pounds for the role because "he wanted to look different than Gosling" and then lost it after the filming wrapped. Who does that? Does he not know how hard it is for normal people to do shit like that?

People who have personal chefs and personal trainers and have nothing to do except work-out while down between movie roles.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #2173 on:** May 31, 2016, 03:29:14 PM »

The Do-Over

I still like Sandler...he's had some clunkers (Jack and Jill, etc), but he delivers consistent low-brow laughs with bright spots of heartfelt seriousness (Big Daddy).

Spade and Sandler meet up at the high school reunion and Sandler "convinces" Spade that his life is awful and he needs to chase his (booze and weed elicited) dream to start life anew.

Motives are clear...then altered...

Hilariousness ensues (thanks in no small part to Luis Guzman, Michael Chiklis and Nick Swardson) and a throw away buddy film gets to be something a little better.

It's not high art, and some of the jokes are Sandler's gutter best, but it's a funny film with a little heart.

Kaos · « **Reply #2174 on:** June 11, 2016, 02:11:07 AM »

Conjuring 2

The horror genre has become stale and formulaic. This film is a prime example. The third installment in the Conjuring franchise (Annabelle was the middle piece) follows Ed and horse face as they slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly unravel a case of alleged demonic possession/haunting in England.

Some poorly done makeup, some seen-it-before jump scares, some levitation, some growly voices.... the movie clocked in at 2:13 but felt six times longer.

Horror is bad right now. It's just not being done well and this James Wan guy who directed it along with Blum House which backed it are the main culprits. They keep churning out warmed over mumbo jumbo, throw in a few shrieks and moans, have the boogey man appear out of nowhere and call it good. There's so little thought, so little effort into truly engaging the audience and unleashing psychological scares as opposed to some fuck jumping out and shouting boo. You never really get a good look at the baddies, it's always a flicker quick shot. I'd so much rather the camera linger on whatever horrific beast is being portrayed.

The movie dragged and dragged. I damn sure didn't need to see Patrick Wilson croon an entire Elvis song. After all that buildup, the final confrontation with the so-called demon was abrupt and anti climactic. Not to mention silly.

But why should they bother doing better? The theater was almost completely full. It's going to make ass bags of money.

Speaking of that, people ruin the moviegoing experience. Absolutely ruin it.

Behind us there was a bawling woman who "wuz saavin theum seeeets" for a party of 15. When they finally got there they were obnoxiously loud and amusing only to themselves. Country done come to town.

In front of us was an entire row of black people. Over half of them were on their cell phones throughout the movie. The one in front of me took or made at least six calls during the movie. And when I had the privileged audacity to ask them to please turn off their cell phones, one of them turned and glared at me for a full two minutes and then made a few loud smart ass comments. But she kept her phone put up. The guy making calls just said "pssshhh" and kept right on.

There were three kids on the row holding the seats for the entire group that wandered in toward the end of the previews and then they all got up and walked out during the final scenes.

I need my own theater.

Kaos · « **Reply #2175 on:** June 12, 2016, 10:13:58 PM »

Hotel Hell

Atrocious

You could ask the next eight people you see to join you in making a movie, spend $18 on cheap horror props at Party City and borrow somebody's go-pro. Then you could ad lib scenes on camera for 90 minutes. The movie you'd make would be exponentially better than this shit.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #2176 on:** June 13, 2016, 08:18:18 AM »

Hail, Caesar

Not the Coen's best effort, but worth viewing. Strong cast: Brolin, Fiennes, Swinton, Johannsen, Clooney, Tatum, Hill...

Movie-studio fixer Brolin is being wooed by Lockheed while trying to manage talent-crises. Clooney is abducted by Communists. His rodeo cowboy star is forced into a leading-man dramatic role. He has a pregnancy crisis with an unwed starlet.

There is typical Coen absurdity (ie - the panel discussion with religious leaders to gauge the offensiveness of the portrayal of Jesus in the studio's "prestige picture", Hail, Caesar) and an overarching lesson doled out by the omniscient narrator.

Not in their top 5 for me, but their past work always earns them a viewing.

GH2001 · « **Reply #2177 on:** June 13, 2016, 01:44:33 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on June 11, 2016, 02:11:07 AM

Conjuring 2

The horror genre has become stale and formulaic. This film is a prime example. The third installment in the Conjuring franchise (Annabelle was the middle piece) follows Ed and horse face as they slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly unravel a case of alleged demonic possession/haunting in England.

Some poorly done makeup, some seen-it-before jump scares, some levitation, some growly voices.... the movie clocked in at 2:13 but felt six times longer.

Horror is bad right now. It's just not being done well and this James Wan guy who directed it along with Blum House which backed it are the main culprits. They keep churning out warmed over mumbo jumbo, throw in a few shrieks and moans, have the boogey man appear out of nowhere and call it good. There's so little thought, so little effort into truly engaging the audience and unleashing psychological scares as opposed to some fuck jumping out and shouting boo. You never really get a good look at the baddies, it's always a flicker quick shot. I'd so much rather the camera linger on whatever horrific beast is being portrayed.

The movie dragged and dragged. I damn sure didn't need to see Patrick Wilson croon an entire Elvis song. After all that buildup, the final confrontation with the so-called demon was abrupt and anti climactic. Not to mention silly.

But why should they bother doing better? The theater was almost completely full. It's going to make ass bags of money.

Speaking of that, people ruin the moviegoing experience. Absolutely ruin it.

Behind us there was a bawling woman who "wuz saavin theum seeeets" for a party of 15. When they finally got there they were obnoxiously loud and amusing only to themselves. Country done come to town.

In front of us was an entire row of black people. Over half of them were on their cell phones throughout the movie. The one in front of me took or made at least six calls during the movie. And when I had the privileged audacity to ask them to please turn off their cell phones, one of them turned and glared at me for a full two minutes and then made a few loud smart ass comments. But she kept her phone put up. The guy making calls just said "pssshhh" and kept right on.

There were three kids on the row holding the seats for the entire group that wandered in toward the end of the previews and then they all got up and walked out during the final scenes.

I need my own theater.

Hate to hear that about this one. The first one I thought was decent for horror. It wasn't what many hyped it up to be but decent. M Night needs to come up with another gem like sixth sense to somewhat pull the thriller/horror genre out of the mud. And soon. He's the only I can see being able to do it.

Kaos · « **Reply #2178 on:** June 15, 2016, 01:42:13 AM »

13 Hours

Hillary Clinton should be in prison. What difference does it make? Fuck that ragged whore.

Nuke the middle east.

Thus ends the review.

GH2001 · « **Reply #2179 on:** June 15, 2016, 09:55:59 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on June 15, 2016, 01:42:13 AM

13 Hours

Hillary Clinton should be in prison. What difference does it make? Fuck that ragged whore.

Nuke the middle east.

Thus ends the review.

What difference does it make why it happened?

What difference does it make what we call these terrorist attacks?

I see a trend.

It makes a huge difference. I wanna see this movie now.