This guy just started at his new job, working at a porno shop. His boss comes out and tells him that he has to leave for a while, and asks if he can handle it alone. The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the boss's positive comments he finally agrees. So, the guy is there by himself for a little while and a white woman comes in. She asks, "How much for the white dildo?" He answers, "$35." She says, "How much for the black one?" He says, "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one." She says, "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before." She pays him, and off she goes. A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks, "How much for the black dildo?" He says, "$35." She says, "How much for the white one?" He says, "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one." She says, "I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before." She pays him, and off she goes. About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?" He says, "$35 for the white, $35 for the black." She says, "How much is that plaid one on the shelf?" He says, "Well, that's a very special dildo. It'll cost you $165." She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before." She pays him, and off she goes. Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?" To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!"
A guy goes to the doctor and expresses his concern over his smallish dick. The doctor recommends a penis transplant and tells him of this procedure that has shown remarkable results over in Europe.
"We surgically remove your penis, then transplant the trunk of a baby elephant in its place. After a couple of weeks recovery, you'll be good as new and damn proud of the result."
The guy agrees to try it out. The surgery goes off without a hitch, and the thing works like a charm.
He and his fiancee are having dinner with her parents one evening, and her mother puts a platter of baked potatoes on the table. All of a sudden, his penis reaches up from under the table, grabs a potato, then disappears back from where it came.
Everyone is shocked, to put it mildly. The mother says, "I'm not sure exactly what I just saw. Can you so that again?"
"I'd love to, ma'am", the embarrassed young man replied, "but I don't have room up my ass for another potato."