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Maybe One Day, We'll Learn

Snaggletiger

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Maybe One Day, We'll Learn
« on: April 30, 2024, 04:44:13 PM »
In 2017, our Auburn Tigers had a 3 week stretch during which they beat two #1 teams, which also turned out to be our biggest rivals.  You-4-eyah ensued, but apparently caused full on Oh-Face/Retard with our administration.

While I was as giddy about the wins as Jerry Sandusky being hired as a summer youth camp counselor, I was still uneasy about what the powers that be would do concerning Gus.

Gus Malzahn lost me long before that season.  The night that 5 different players took snaps against Clemson, 3 of which ran the same twirly-bird, double fakey handoff screens, I threw my hands up and said I'm done.  This guy is certifiable.

But Auburn did what Auburn does.  They Auburn'd!  It dates back to Terry Bowden being gifted an Iron Bowl win on one the most bone-headed calls in history, after which, instead of canning his short ass for a loss, they extended his contract, only to have him walk mid season the following year.

From there, it was about 15 years of TT duck hunting in Arkansas, and agent leaked rumors of Gus to the same State, being all it took for our admins to pony up a bigger, better contract each time.  And in 2017, nobody listened to me when I screamed, just give the man a nice bonus for the wins, and if he leaves, let him jet.  But, no!  No need to go over the eye-popping numbers Auburn painted itself into a corner with.

Then came the Breman Halfpint 1 1/2 year debacle. So, what's the point to all this?  Glad you axed.

For 2023, here's what SEC programs paid for coaches not to be employed there anymore:

Auburn:  $20 million

Texas:  $5.4 million

LSU:  $5 million

Bama:  $1 million

Florida:  $250K

No reason to think it will change.  If U Free somehow pulls off a stunning season and beats one, or both of our rivals, they'll find a way to make him the highest paid coach in the game with the biggest buyout in history.  Auburn just gonna' Auburn.  I like Freeze.  Hope he's here until I'm on a walker. (5-6 years) But I have a feeling we'll be revisiting this topic again some time this decade.       
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Maybe One Day, We'll Learn
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2024, 05:04:37 PM »
In 2017, our Auburn Tigers had a 3 week stretch during which they beat two #1 teams, which also turned out to be our biggest rivals.  You-4-eyah ensued, but apparently caused full on Oh-Face/Retard with our administration.

While I was as giddy about the wins as Jerry Sandusky being hired as a summer youth camp counselor, I was still uneasy about what the powers that be would do concerning Gus.

Gus Malzahn lost me long before that season.  The night that 5 different players took snaps against Clemson, 3 of which ran the same twirly-bird, double fakey handoff screens, I threw my hands up and said I'm done.  This guy is certifiable.

But Auburn did what Auburn does.  They Auburn'd!  It dates back to Terry Bowden being gifted an Iron Bowl win on one the most bone-headed calls in history, after which, instead of canning his short ass for a loss, they extended his contract, only to have him walk mid season the following year.

From there, it was about 15 years of TT duck hunting in Arkansas, and agent leaked rumors of Gus to the same State, being all it took for our admins to pony up a bigger, better contract each time.  And in 2017, nobody listened to me when I screamed, just give the man a nice bonus for the wins, and if he leaves, let him jet.  But, no!  No need to go over the eye-popping numbers Auburn painted itself into a corner with.

Then came the Breman Halfpint 1 1/2 year debacle. So, what's the point to all this?  Glad you axed.

For 2023, here's what SEC programs paid for coaches not to be employed there anymore:

Auburn:  $20 million

Texas:  $5.4 million

LSU:  $5 million

Bama:  $1 million

Florida:  $250K

No reason to think it will change.  If U Free somehow pulls off a stunning season and beats one, or both of our rivals, they'll find a way to make him the highest paid coach in the game with the biggest buyout in history.  Auburn just gonna' Auburn.  I like Freeze.  Hope he's here until I'm on a walker. (5-6 years) But I have a feeling we'll be revisiting this topic again some time this decade.       


A&M scoffs with their $75 mil. buyout of Jimbo.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Maybe One Day, We'll Learn
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2024, 05:32:10 PM »

A&M scoffs with their $75 mil. buyout of Jimbo.

Troof, but they weren't on the list because they let The Greasy Car Salesman go after the 2023 season.  Same with Miss. State.  They'll be on there next year, but seriously, what could Auburn do with an extra $20 mil a year?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

War Damn Six

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Re: Maybe One Day, We'll Learn
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2024, 07:43:07 PM »
Troof, but they weren't on the list because they let The Greasy Car Salesman go after the 2023 season.  Same with Miss. State.  They'll be on there next year, but seriously, what could Auburn do with an extra $20 mil a year?

With Freeze?   Hookers and blow.
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“If you're waitin' for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait.” Preacher

jmar

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Re: Maybe One Day, We'll Learn
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2024, 07:52:26 PM »
Troof, but they weren't on the list because they let The Greasy Car Salesman go after the 2023 season.  Same with Miss. State.  They'll be on there next year, but seriously, what could Auburn do with an extra $20 mil a year?
The facilities seem to be first class so I'm guessing the next logical step would be to buy the necessary talent to yield titles in multiple sports without incurring the wrath of the NCAA.


   
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War Damn Six

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Re: Maybe One Day, We'll Learn
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2024, 07:57:56 PM »
The facilities seem to be first class so I'm guessing the next logical step would be to buy the necessary talent to yield titles in multiple sports without incurring the wrath of the NCAA.


 

The NCAA has no balls anymore.  They are Snags. 
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“If you're waitin' for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait.” Preacher

jmar

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