Hog Week

[The Six]

Malzahn feels like one of the biggest con men I've ever seen. He knows good and well he's garbage but in his schizo nature has managed to convince himself that we all buy that load of garbage every time he talks at a microphone. Who is still believing this stuff? He will have taken Auburn University for 50 million dollars when its all said and done....and other than some lightning in a bottle when a scrappy brass balls Qb named Nick masks all his weaknesses - it feels like a monkey from the zoo could have won the same amount of games drawing pictures of random shoot on paper during the game.

The pitchfork is just getting warm.

Disagree on the con man part slightly. Malzahn (and, more importantly, his representation) simply took advantage of Auburn when Auburn was at a point asking to be taken advantage of. End of 2012 was the worst team of Auburn football in any modern iteration. Malzahn rode in promising a fast and fun offense and in 2013, he delivered (regardless of who was responsible for what). Things regressed and then a resurgence. November 2017 comes and he issues large margin victories over Auburn's two biggest rivals. It was glorious, it was magical, and caught up in the afterglow, his people pounce and construct the third dumbest coaching contract in college football (Randy Edsall at UConn is #1 and Jimbo Fisher is #2). Auburn was lonely and wanted to be wanted and Malzahn was there both time just like the ex in Lifetime movies to provide the richard needed at the time. And now we are in the afterglow again and our hook up didn't leave. And he's not going to leave. It'll take a Chizik-level dropout or financial drop off (not caused by a pandemic) to root him out of there now.

TL;DR version: Auburn was vulnerable and Malzahn was an easy lay.

[dallaswareagle]

He is a 4 to 5 loss a year coach.  Period!!!!  

Based on what little I saw this past weekend. That could change. 

[Kaos]

[GH2001]

When you say that about KISS I’ll start worrying. 

[The Six]

When you say that about KISS I’ll start worrying.

I'll start applauding because he'll finally join the rest of the rational world.

[Kaos]

I'll start applauding because he'll finally join the rest of the rational world.

[The Six]

Redirecting from piss fights...I've been thinking about Gus' latest round of coachspeak. To me, it sounds something like this:

"Look. We all know Auburn doesn't have the money to buy me out and these assistants out right now. That would be around $40 million. Last I saw, our AD was begging for change from the fans and boosters. So, let's drop the whole hot seat mess. I'm here, you are stuck with me, for better and probably worse for the next four or five years. By then, I'll have enough corn in the silo so my grandchildren never have to work. That's the goal. Yeah, it'd be nice to win and we probably will pick off somebody the experts think we shouldn't, but I really don't care. And deep down, neither do you. Country's gone to hell and it's only gonna get worse. Enjoy the ride, people. War eagles or whatever it is we say around here. Where's my hashbrowns?"

[GH2001]

Redirecting from piss fights...I've been thinking about Gus' latest round of coachspeak. To me, it sounds something like this:

"Look. We all know Auburn doesn't have the money to buy me out and these assistants out right now. That would be around $40 million. Last I saw, our AD was begging for change from the fans and boosters. So, let's drop the whole hot seat mess. I'm here, you are stuck with me, for better and probably worse for the next four or five years. By then, I'll have enough corn in the silo so my grandchildren never have to work. That's the goal. Yeah, it'd be nice to win and we probably will pick off somebody the experts think we shouldn't, but I really don't care. And deep down, neither do you. Country's gone to hell and it's only gonna get worse. Enjoy the ride, people. War eagles or whatever it is we say around here. Where's my hashbrowns?"

pretty much...he knows what he says is FOS at times thus the con man reference. And there's also the purposeful Sexton lying in Dec of 2017. And Gus being fully ok with that. 

[GH2001]

He gives 1 big Fok

[Hogwally]

I told myself I wasn't going to get drawn into your continual pathetic cry for attention, but I've had too many beers tonight and my self control has slipped.  For someone who doesn't give a fuck, you sure seem to spend a lot of time on this board reading the threads that you don't give a fuck about.  You remind me of the Big10, you jumped out and thought if you pitched a big fit and and said you were done, everyone else would follow along.  You were both wrong.

[Kaos]

I told myself I wasn't going to get drawn into your continual pathetic cry for attention, but I've had too many beers tonight and my self control has slipped.  For someone who doesn't give a fuck, you sure seem to spend a lot of time on this board reading the threads that you don't give a fuck about.  You remind me of the Big10, you jumped out and thought if you pitched a big fit and and said you were done, everyone else would follow along.  You were both wrong.

You should stop drinking.  

I post here because these are my psuedo friends.  I post here because I've spent nearly a decade on this board, in good times and bad times.   I post here because I want these people, who are for better or worse a part of my circle, to see the things I finally see.  I want to help remove the scales from their eyes. Or maybe I want them to explain to me why I'm wrong (which hasn't come close to happening).  

I've loved Auburn for my entire life.  I loved it when it would have been easier not to.  I loved it when it meant ridicule from people whose opinion I valued. I loved it when it meant people who couldn't carry my water decided I was inferior just because of the colors I wore.  I loved it because for all its faults, the things Auburn represented, the things Auburn valued, the things Auburn personified were the same things I believed.  

Over the last five years or so, maybe longer, I've come to see that this is no longer the case.  I stand where I stand.  I'm not watching Auburn football.  I haven't seen a single play this season.  I have no intention of watching again.  I'd like for the people in this circle -- people I've enjoyed a shared experience with for years -- to understand my position and I'd like it better if they embraced it as well because the only way things will change is if enough people stand up (or step back, however you want to frame it).  Take the NBA.  Ratings have tanked. Interest has evaporated.  Now they are finally coming around and will eliminate the preposterous posturing and virtue signaling.  They did so because people said "enough."  

I'm saying that now.  Enough.  If I'm the only one, then so be it.   I never indicated I was walking away from the board, these people or anything like that.  I just don't give a tin shit in a wooden bucket about Gus Malzahn or the bullshit he pretends is Auburn football.  

That said?  Even though I don't care and it doesn't matter since they have to play, I hope they fuck the Arkansas pigs completely up.  I just won't be a part of it.  

[GH2001]

You should stop drinking. 

I post here because these are my psuedo friends.  I post here because I've spent nearly a decade on this board, in good times and bad times.  I post here because I want these people, who are for better or worse a part of my circle, to see the things I finally see.  I want to help remove the scales from their eyes. Or maybe I want them to explain to me why I'm wrong (which hasn't come close to happening). 

I've loved Auburn for my entire life.  I loved it when it would have been easier not to.  I loved it when it meant ridicule from people whose opinion I valued. I loved it when it meant people who couldn't carry my water decided I was inferior just because of the colors I wore.  I loved it because for all its faults, the things Auburn represented, the things Auburn valued, the things Auburn personified were the same things I believed. 

Over the last five years or so, maybe longer, I've come to see that this is no longer the case.  I stand where I stand.  I'm not watching Auburn football.  I haven't seen a single play this season.  I have no intention of watching again.  I'd like for the people in this circle -- people I've enjoyed a shared experience with for years -- to understand my position and I'd like it better if they embraced it as well because the only way things will change is if enough people stand up (or step back, however you want to frame it).  Take the NBA.  Ratings have tanked. Interest has evaporated.  Now they are finally coming around and will eliminate the preposterous posturing and virtue signaling.  They did so because people said "enough." 

I'm saying that now.  Enough.  If I'm the only one, then so be it.  I never indicated I was walking away from the board, these people or anything like that.  I just don't give a tin shit in a wooden bucket about Gus Malzahn or the bullshit he pretends is Auburn football. 

That said?  Even though I don't care and it doesn't matter since they have to play, I hope they fuck the Arkansas pigs completely up.  I just won't be a part of it. 

Hey. What they hell is this pseudo talk?? I guess that night in Cabo meant nothing to you. You told us it was for eternity and you meant it. 

[oldautiger]

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. 
Fuck Gus. I am joining K in showing my disgust for all things gus. 
Oh yeah Fuck Gus. 

[GH2001]

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
Fuck Gus. I am joining K in showing my disgust for all things gus.
Oh yeah Fuck Gus.

A win by a ref’s ineptness. 

[The Six]

What in the actual effects was that? I take back what I said about Kevin Steele. If this was business, he should lead a hostile takeover of this team. What Gus and Chad and that entire offensive staff are doing is criminally negligent. Bo Nix looks like a deer caught in headlights. He finds one receiver and that's it. Thankfully, Flash is really good at running away from a defense that cannot tackle in space. Seth Williams looks like he has as many fucks to give about this season as Kaos. Tank Bigsby is a man. DJ Williams has talent. JJ Pegues is the best LT on the team but they'll never make that move. 

Remaining schedule? I'm gonna start another thread. 

This was an abortion of a game. We deserved to lose. 

[wesfau2]

The playcalling was mind-numbingly stupid.  Early in the game, we're driving and we...substitute en masse to run Pegues in the wildcat.  What in the multiuniversal fuck was that?

Later in the game, Tank is ripping off 13 and 17 yards consecutively on the right side.  Morris dials up...a QB keeper to the left.  Drive stalls.

If not for the Hogs horrendous special teams, their bone-headed Chad-like wildcat series inside the 5 (x2) and a completely blown call by the refs, we lose this game by 14.

Morris has taken a young offense full of stars that was beginning to gel and has shat all over their progress.

At one point late in the 3rd, after a swing pass (4 yards behind the LOS) on 3rd and 3...which was stuffed, Bo ran to the sidelines screaming at Chad, "They know what you're calling!"  He was obviously upset with the OC.

[Snaggletiger]

The playcalling was mind-numbingly stupid.  Early in the game, we're driving and we...substitute en masse to run Pegues in the wildcat.  What in the multiuniversal fuck was that?

Later in the game, Tank is ripping off 13 and 17 yards consecutively on the right side.  Morris dials up...a QB keeper to the left.  Drive stalls.

If not for the Hogs horrendous special teams, their bone-headed Chad-like wildcat series inside the 5 (x2) and a completely blown call by the refs, we lose this game by 14.

Morris has taken a young offense full of stars that was beginning to gel and has shat all over their progress.

At one point late in the 3rd, after a swing pass (4 yards behind the LOS) on 3rd and 3...which was stuffed, Bo ran to the sidelines screaming at Chad, "They know what you're calling!"  He was obviously upset with the OC.

Agreed.  I said last week that Bo was clearly pissed as hell on the sidelines against Georgia.  Didn't know if it was at Seth or who, but I can imagine Morris was included in that angst. 

[CCTAU]

Whoa. Whoa now. Wildcat with P300 was about to get real. Then we got Brahmed!

[AUTiger1]

The playcalling was mind-numbingly stupid.  Early in the game, we're driving and we...substitute en masse to run Pegues in the wildcat.  What in the multiuniversal fuck was that?

Later in the game, Tank is ripping off 13 and 17 yards consecutively on the right side.  Morris dials up...a QB keeper to the left.  Drive stalls.

If not for the Hogs horrendous special teams, their bone-headed Chad-like wildcat series inside the 5 (x2) and a completely blown call by the refs, we lose this game by 14.

Morris has taken a young offense full of stars that was beginning to gel and has shat all over their progress.

At one point late in the 3rd, after a swing pass (4 yards behind the LOS) on 3rd and 3...which was stuffed, Bo ran to the sidelines screaming at Chad, "They know what you're calling!"  He was obviously upset with the OC.

Pretty damn sad he knew it and doesn't have the authority to audible.  Thanks, Gus.

[The Six]

Pretty damn sad he knew it and doesn't have the authority to audible.  Thanks, Gus.

Not even Cam had that right. Stidham talked about that as well. None of our dudes can call their own plays.