Pre-Season SEC Predictions

[The Six]

It's June. Most of us have already given up. Time to put some predictions out and commiserate.

SEC WEST
Alabama: 11-1 (they slip somewhere but as per the usual it doesn't even matter)
LSU: 9-3
Auburn: 8-4/7-5 (swing game with Miss. St.)
Mississippi State: 8-4/7-5 (swing game is with Auburn)
Texas A&M: 6-6 (hard schedule, tough to navigate)
Ole Miss: 5-7 (scholarship reductions kicking in)
Arkansas: 5-7 (they go from garbage to sort of edible this year but miss bowling)

SEC EAST
Georgia: 10-2 (f these guys)
Tennessee: 9-3 (gonna be the surprise team, tons of production coming back)
Florida: 9-3 (gonna slip a little, probably a load of arrests)
Missouri: 7-5 (Kelly Bryant is gonna get broken in half by mid season)
Kentucky: 6-6 (stepping on down to reality)
Vanderbilt: 6-6 (Mason may stay, may not, no one will notice)
South Carolina: 4-8 (calling it now, Boom MFer gets fired after a dismal campaign)

SECCG: Saban spanks Kirby on the way to the playoffs. 

[Godfather]

Since I really don't give a fuck about anyone else in the league.  FUCK UGA and FUCK LSU

Regular Season
DATE	OPPONENT
Sat, Aug 31	vs Oregon *	Win/Loss
Sat, Sep 7	vs Tulane	Win
Sat, Sep 14	vs Kent State	Win
Sat, Sep 21	@ Texas A&M	Loss
Sat, Sep 28	vs Mississippi State	Loss
Sat, Oct 5	@ Florida	Loss
Sat, Oct 19	@ Arkansas	Win
Sat, Oct 26	@ LSU	Loss
Sat, Nov 2	vs Ole Miss	Win
Sat, Nov 16	vs Fuck Georgia	Loss
Sat, Nov 23	vs Samford	Win
Sat, Nov 30	vs Alabama	Loss

5-7 or 6-6

Even if we eek out another win my ceiling is 7-5.  Talking heads are saying 9-3 I don't see it, our schedule is pretty brutal this year. 

I see 4 "almost" guaranteed wins this year in Tulane, Kent State, Samford and Ole Miss.  That's it!  Who the fuck knows anymore.

[ssgaufan]

Since I really don't give a fudge about anyone else in the league.  fudge UGA and fudge LSU

Regular Season
DATE	OPPONENT
Sat, Aug 31	vs Oregon *	Win/Loss
Sat, Sep 7	vs Tulane	Win
Sat, Sep 14	vs Kent State	Win
Sat, Sep 21	@ Texas A&M	Loss
Sat, Sep 28	vs Mississippi State	Loss
Sat, Oct 5	@ Florida	Loss
Sat, Oct 19	@ Arkansas	Win
Sat, Oct 26	@ LSU	Loss
Sat, Nov 2	vs Ole Miss	Win
Sat, Nov 16	vs fudge Georgia	Loss
Sat, Nov 23	vs Samford	Win
Sat, Nov 30	vs Alabama	Loss

5-7 or 6-6

Even if we eek out another win my ceiling is 7-5.  Talking heads are saying 9-3 I don't see it, our schedule is pretty brutal this year.  Who the fudge knows anymore.

If your prediction pans out, does that mean that this is end of Gustavo?

[Godfather]

Jarhead and I both think that the game that decides Gus's fate is UF.  Assuming my prediction and we lose to Oregon we would be 2-4 after losing to UF.

I think Gus would be fired at that point.  Jarhead thinks he's gone if we lose to UF and are 3-3, I think he would still be retained.

[Saniflush]

Fuck yall!

15-0

[Godfather]

Fuck yall!

15-0

I have low expectations, that's why I'm so easy.

[Snaggletiger]

Bama
LSU
Auburn
A&M
Miss. State
Arkansas
Ole Miss

Fuck Georgia
Go Gaytah
Cheetos
Sakerlina
Pearl's Basketball Bitch
Mizzou
Vandy

I'm sure things will start heating up as we get closer to the season, but right now I gots very little love for Auburn's chances.  I think this team has a lot of talent across the board.  But when you go into a season against the toughest schedule in the nation....by far.....and you have zero experience at QB, an O-line that hopefully will be better and a running game that's questionable at best  (A lot of potential but ain't proven shit), I don't have the warm fuzzies.

Throw in Gus and.....

LSU and A&M: I don't get the hype.  I would only give them the nod in certain games because they both have experienced QB's coming back. 

Miss. State:  Lost the QB and a shit load of great talent on D. 

Arky and Ole Miss:  Arky and Ole Miss.

Fuck Georgia!

[Snaggletiger]

Fuck yall!

15-0

20

[Godfather]

Snags you probably know more than I do about the rest of the league.  Honestly, I have been so disenfranchised in our coach that I haven't seen what the rest of the league is bringing back.

My prediction above is based purely on my thoughts on how our team is and is coached not based on how the rest of the league's teams are.

[The Six]

Jarhead and I both think that the game that decides Gus's fate is UF.  Assuming my prediction and we lose to Oregon we would be 2-4 after losing to UF.

I think Gus would be fired at that point.  Jarhead thinks he's gone if we lose to UF and are 3-3, I think he would still be retained.

Who would be the interim? Steele?

[Godfather]

Who would be the interim? Steele?

Hadn't really thought that much about it....I would assume he would be the one since we no longer have an OC and he seems to be one of the few that knows what he is doing.

[Godfather]

Fuck yall!

15-0

and no FUCK GUS...I learned it by watching him.....I learned it by watching him!

[Snaggletiger]

You know I love my preseason mags.  "Young Gay Midgets Journal" is my favorite.  Wait.....I mean...I picked up Street & Smith the other day.  At the start of each conference preview, they always have their list of Most Athletic QB, Best Passer, Best New Coordinator etc.  The only one that recognized Auburn was "Hottest Coaching Seat."

[The Six]

and no fudge GUS...I learned it by watching him.....I learned it by watching him!

I have found a new avatar. Thank you.

[Godfather]

I have found a new avatar. Thank you.

HA....I added some text for you.

[Buzz Killington]

I'll tell you 2 things that won't happen this season.  The fighting Malzahns will not lose at home to MSU nor will they lose at Florida.  Florida will be abysmal this season.  Mark that down.

My prediction?

Oregon - Play hard for 2-1/2 quarters and then the offensive wheels come off.  One late turnover gives us a chance to win, but we somehow miss that opportunity.  Loss  21-24 or something like that

Tulane - Rush for 1,130 yards and 8 touchdowns.  Pass for 13 yards.  Win 58-10

Kent State - We really run the score up on Nick Saban's alma mater just to show how much we hate the guy.  Win 38-16

@ aTm - Start strong and build a 2 touchdown+ lead.  Then after 11 3-and-outs in a row, the defense finally wears out and they score at will in the 4th quarter.  Loss 21-41

Miss Stake - Another strong rushing performance from about 12 different guys.  Pass for almost 100.  Win 51-17

@ Gatah - Defense is somthering and Bo Nix finally gets a real shot to put the ball in the air...following his dad's 1994 performance in the swamp.  We score and score often.  Win 38-13

@ Arkansas - Poor hogs are actually worse at the QB spot this season and it will show here.  Win 28-3

@ Ellis Hugh - Another strong start followed by another Guslappse (Going to get the copyright) and the Tigahs make a late comeback.  Loss 23-26

Ole Miss - Rush for another 1,000 in this one and pass for 250+ to boot.  Can't stop them very well though.  Win in a shootout  63-41

fuck Georgia - Gus gets his revenge on Kirbs...for 3 quarters.  Then the mutts storm back but come up just short as a strong wind blows the winning field goal just wide left.  Win 31-30

Samford - Rush for almost 100 yards and pass for a buck fitty and flail around miserably all day.  Win 38-17

rammer jammer - Play an almost flawless first half on both sides of the ball, but are only up a field goal.  Then reality sets in.  Joey Gatewood throws for 350 but has 3 picks.  Loss 21-48

If my math is correct, that would be an 8-4 regular season and would most likely be followed by a Florida bowl that no one really cares about.

[The Six]

If my math is correct, that would be an 8-4 regular season and would most likely be followed by a Florida bowl that no one really cares about.

This scenario will lead to another contract extension for Gus who will replace the OC with another scapegoat. Losing to Wisconsin or Northwestern in the Gaspirilla Vodka Bowl will barley matter.

[Godfather]

This scenario will lead to another contract extension for Gus who will replace the OC with another scapegoat. Losing to Wisconsin or Northwestern in the Gaspirilla Vodka Bowl will barley matter.

I would say depends on who the 4 losses are to, and how we lost them.  I don't think he gets to fire another OC. This season is on him, he has made that clear. 

We are starting a brand new QB (regardless) so like most programs (not bama) we are sure to have up's and down's what I think Gus needs to do to keep his job besides win, is show improvement throughout the year.

[The Six]

I would say depends on who the 4 losses are to, and how we lost them.  I don't think he gets to fire another OC. This season is on him, he has made that clear. 

We are starting a brand new QB (regardless) so like most programs (not bama) we are sure to have up's and down's what I think Gus needs to do to keep his job besides win, is show improvement throughout the year.

So, do what he’s only done once (2013) in his time as HC if we are being honest.

[Godfather]

So, do what he’s only done once (2013) in his time as HC if we are being honest.

pretty much