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Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)

Godfather

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Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« on: April 29, 2019, 10:46:44 AM »
So I wanted to talk more about the movie for those that have seen it.

AGAIN IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT AND DON"T WANT TO BE SPOILED DO NOT READ ANYMORE.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2019, 10:58:15 AM by Godfather »
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2019, 10:49:00 AM »
Saw it yesterday morning...wasn't ready for a 4 hour movie.  Someone pulled the fire alarm almost halfway through it, so we had a built in intermission.
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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2019, 10:57:44 AM »
Avengers: End Game

Marvel still knows how to do superhero movies better than anyone ever.  This movie is light years better than Aquaman, Justice League, Dawn of Justice or anything in the DC pantheon except possibly Wonder Woman.

But for all the noise and crashing and bashing and loop closing; for all the praise and money it's going to get, it was -- to me -- second tier Marvel.  I know you have to suspend the rules when you're watching a movie where a woman can fly, a guy can shrink himself to the size of an ant, a guy can turn himself into an angry green ogre, a guy sails in from space with a magic hammer and another wizardy guy can spin travel portals with his fingers.  Even so, I had a major problem with the basic concepts of this movie. I was unmoved by the motivations.

You'll either see it or you won't so I'm not going to recap the film.  Not going to give any hints as to the ending.  I'm just going to fit it into my own pecking order. 

There are top tier films.  The movies that left me awed and agape; the films that I didn't really want to end.

Iron Man
Thor: Ragingcrocs
Guardians of the Galaxy
The Avengers

Those movies were note-perfect in my mind.  Completely satisfying. 

Then there's the second tier.  Good, but not great movies.  Enjoyed them, but they weren't the epic masterpieces the others were.  Some were just too busy, some had too much noise, some thought too much of themselves. All had something that kept it from being elevated.

The movies I put here are
Ant Man 1 and 2  (although both were closer to the top tier than some of the others)
Guardians 2
Iron Man 2 and 3
All Captain Americas
Captain Marvel
Spiderman Homecoming
Thor: Dark World
Infinity Wars (Although this is probably closer to the bottom)

And then there were the ones I considered sort of duds.  Not duds in the Aquaman/Justice League abysmal sense, but just not quite there.  Either essentially forgettable, mishandled or completely overhyped. 

Black Panther was a terrible Marvel movie.  It was stupid. It was insulting. I'll never watch it again and I could have done without it completely.

Age of Ultron was a misstep.  A hugely successful misstep but an overly busy, excessively noisy, outlandishly destructive error.

Thor just didn't work.  I really appreciate how they've retooled the character and given him humor and life but the first Thor movie didn't even really hint at that promise.  Some bad directorial choices and a bust with the choice of Natalie Portman.


Endgame falls somewhere toward the bottom of the second tier.  It's going to make ass tons of money.  It will be praised to the high heavens by almost everyone.  My truth, however, is that in comparison to Iron Man, Guardians and those others at the top of the list it just falls way outside the cut.  I've seen it, I'm glad I did, but (like Ultron) I have no interest in sitting through it again. 
Your pretty much dead on with this my only disagreement was Infinity War for me I would put in the top tier.

Endgame was definitely not top tier but I enjoyed most of it. 

I thought the first hour of the movie was one of the best Marvel movies ever, including the drama.  The second half of the movie was a bit meh, and reached on things.

I especially didn't like that Stark was killed.  I get it RDJ is done with the roll and it was a fitting ending for the man that started it all but, like Jarhead said it does worry me where they are going with it #metoo.  Natasha and Captain basically out weren't a big deal to me.

I was disappointed with the lack of screen time the "dead" now resurrected Avengers had, almost seemed like an afterthought.

The story was a reach with the time travel, but overall I wasn't disappointed with it because I didn't really know how they were going to undo the events, Time had to be figured out in some manner. 

Loved fat Thor (I really hope Hemsworth continues the character that he has created and molded) It took him at least 5 movies to get it right and it is great.  Looks like he may be in Guardians III which would be awesome. To me Thor is what made this movie great.  From his dealing with Captain Marvel to getting back Mjolnir he was definitely the best part of this movie.

Was not really crazy for how they used Hulk/Banner, was really hoping for Ultimate Hulk.  I thought they copped out on his story line.  Not really explaining why Hulk never showed up again in Infinity Wars.

Was glad they didn't make Captain Marvel all powerful.  Also like Jarhead said the #girlpower brief scene was fucking lame.

Didn't really care for the final battle with Thanos, like I said thought it was a bit underwhelming. 

Overall though I did like the movie, not really sure where I wanted them to go with it so I wasn't disappointed.  It is certainly light years better than any turd Lucas film or DC has put out.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2019, 11:12:01 AM by Godfather »
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2019, 11:08:17 AM »
Pretty much what I said coming out of the theater too.  I was all in for the first 2 hours or so.  Great storylines coming together all for what I hoped to be an awesome battle scene ending.  But it wasn't.  
Fat Thor was my favorite by far though.  Loved that the Cap got his dance.  Hated losing Black Widow and IM, but I suppose those were both the ultimate hero stories.
Like you said though, the portals opening and everybody coming back felt like a last second "oh yeah, we almost forgot" moment.  

Overall, it was a great movie though.  Just wish the last 30 minutes had been done better.
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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2019, 11:14:11 AM »
Pretty much what I said coming out of the theater too.  I was all in for the first 2 hours or so.  Great storylines coming together all for what I hoped to be an awesome battle scene ending.  But it wasn't. 

It was almost like they looked at the movie and said oh shit we are at 2:35 minutes of runtime and we haven't done the final battle yet, lets do this.
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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2019, 11:18:30 AM »
 Loved that the Cap got his dance.  
Jarhead brought up an interesting thought regarding this.  Did Captain makeout with his Niece?

Assuming that Cap got married to Peggy Carter 

He teams up with Sharon Carter (who even if was my niece I might also make out with) 


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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2019, 02:27:15 PM »
I have major problems with several of the concepts. 

I realize the purpose was to bring all 21 previous movies together and give many of the characters the end to this particular story arc.  And in many ways they did that.  Ironman is dead -- unless an ant goes back in time, crawls up Thanos butt when he is a child and expands to the size of a gorilla thereby exploding him into a big purple splotch.  Captain America got to have his fully realized life.  Black Widow is dead, except for the fact that she has a stand-alone movie coming out.  And so on. 

But the problems are extensive.  Here are a few.

1) Time travel in general.  Yes, it's a movie where people come from outer space and a tree talks to me.  But the way they work the time travel just doesn't make sense to me.  Because Tony has a daughter, we have to just snap back everybody who disappeared five years ago without changing anything that happened since?  Just imagine the plight of poor Norman Snodgrass of Ames Iowa who snapped out of existence and then re-emerged five years later to find that Mrs. Snodgrass had taken solace in the arms of a Swahili warrior and borne him two fine sons.  And what about Theodore Turley who re-emerged to discover that his son had overdosed on heroin while he was gone.  That did not work for me.  At all. 

2) The Thanos problem.  If Antman can grow to 20 stories, why not just swell him up and let him stomp Thanos into a mudhole?  End of problem.  Or go the other direction and do the up-the-butthole thing.  Poof.  It's all over. 

3) Magic vs. Punching.  You'd think that in a world where some freaky creep can spin time portals with his fingers -- and why didn't he just zap everybody back to whenever the hell rather than the silly contrivance of the suits and the juice? -- that cosmic conflicts wouldn't be settled by people punching the piss out of each other over and over.  Better ways than that. 

4) The arcs - Blacktain America?  No thanks.  Ironwhore?  Negative.  I know they're closing this chapter and going to open a new one with characters in different places (physically and mentally) and that's fine.  But the pandering to diversity I can do without.  Black Panther was an AWFUL movie.  People suck its ass only because it featured a black cast.  The story was asinine, the acting was local-improv level.  The accents were insulting. Everything about it was awful.  If that had been a movie featuring a(nother) white superhero it would have been soundly rejected and rightly ridiculed. It was an attempt to show how 'woke' Marvel is.  I don't really need 'woke.'  Thor Ragingcocks was not woke.  It was just a great, fun movie.  So many loops were closed, but with the whole 'time travel' thing they left themselves open to doing and undoing all of it over and over again.  

5) Sense.  It just made none.  I went back and watched Ironman right after.  The stark (pun, get it) differences between that lean, fun, amazing movie and this swollen morass of magic, pontificating and diversityfying clearly displayed how in love with the sound of its own voice Marvel has become.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2019, 02:32:20 PM by Kaos »
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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2019, 03:52:13 PM »
So besides the kids going back to school so soon, and wasp (who in the comics is a leader in the avengers) who left her mission to do a #MeToo moment, and Captain Marvel getting a Jay Jacobs haircut, it was...  ok?  I think.

I wish they would have setup something for either FF or XMen. A simple scene of a guy walking down an alley, and some muggers jump out, and you hear him say something like “big mistake, bub” and then the SNIKT sound would have given most fanboys a 3 year raging boner.

Some other things that bothered me:

1) how’s cap return the soul stone?  You think he’s just going to casually give it to the Red Skull?

2) same question for the red stone he needs to put into Natalie Portman.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2019, 03:55:13 PM by AUJarhead »
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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2019, 04:32:32 PM »

2) same question for the red stone he needs to put into Natalie Portman.
Hard and fast?
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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2019, 04:42:04 PM »
Hard and fast?
Given the choice between Hayley Atwell, his hot ass niece, or huge fucking mouth Portman, if Cap picks Portman, he needs to be shot into space.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #10 on: April 29, 2019, 04:44:23 PM »
Given the choice between Hayley Atwell, his hot ass niece, or huge fudgeing mouth Portman, if Cap picks Portman, he needs to be shot into space.
Or have Ant Man fly into his ass
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #11 on: April 29, 2019, 04:53:06 PM »
Or have Ant Man fly into his ass
You mean America's Ass.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2019, 10:27:43 AM »
I can't believe we missed the worst problems with the movie.  It wasn't LGBT friendly enough...other than Captain Marvel's new doo.  And don't get me started on the fat shaming of Thor.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/46503/avengers-endgame-not-lgbt-friendly-enough-fat-emily-zanotti?%3Futm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mattwalsh
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2019, 10:36:15 AM »
I can't believe we missed the worst problems with the movie.  It wasn't LGBT friendly enough...other than Captain Marvel's new doo.  And don't get me started on the fat shaming of Thor.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/46503/avengers-endgame-not-lgbt-friendly-enough-fat-emily-zanotti?%3Futm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mattwalsh
I was thinking the exact same thing.  Wait....I haven't seen it.


But if I had, I'd want more butt sex in it.  I mean, with the name "End Game", surely there's lots of butt sex, right?
« Last Edit: April 30, 2019, 10:39:15 AM by Snaggletiger »
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2019, 10:42:33 AM »
I was thinking the exact same thing.  Wait....I haven't seen it.
Wait until you find out Deadpool's real name.
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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2019, 11:15:33 AM »
I was thinking the exact same thing.  Wait....I haven't seen it.


But if I had, I'd want more butt sex in it.  I mean, with the name "End Game", surely there's lots of butt sex, right?
You're thinking of End Games.  Personally, I think End Games 6 was the best.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #16 on: April 30, 2019, 11:39:40 AM »
You're thinking of End Games.  Personally, I think End Games 6 was the best.
End Games 6???  Are you serious?  I thought Rod Johnson easily did the poorest job in any sequel playing Doctor Rammer.  I only gave it 2 1/2 Hand Jobs.
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Godfather

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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #17 on: April 30, 2019, 12:31:35 PM »
I can't believe we missed the worst problems with the movie.  It wasn't LGBT friendly enough...other than Captain Marvel's new doo.  And don't get me started on the fat shaming of Thor.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/46503/avengers-endgame-not-lgbt-friendly-enough-fat-emily-zanotti?%3Futm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mattwalsh
:facepalm:
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Kaos

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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #18 on: April 30, 2019, 01:18:01 PM »
I can't believe we missed the worst problems with the movie.  It wasn't LGBT friendly enough...other than Captain Marvel's new doo.  And don't get me started on the fat shaming of Thor.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/46503/avengers-endgame-not-lgbt-friendly-enough-fat-emily-zanotti?%3Futm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mattwalsh
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Re: Avengers Endgame (CONTAINS SPOILERS)
« Reply #19 on: April 30, 2019, 02:12:41 PM »
I can't believe we missed the worst problems with the movie.  It wasn't LGBT friendly enough...other than Captain Marvel's new doo.  And don't get me started on the fat shaming of Thor.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/46503/avengers-endgame-not-lgbt-friendly-enough-fat-emily-zanotti?%3Futm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mattwalsh
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