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Christmas Gifts

Snaggletiger

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Christmas Gifts
« on: December 04, 2018, 10:05:47 AM »
Never too soon to get a jump on your Christmas shopping. 

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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

The Six

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2018, 11:16:46 AM »
I figured you'd be into that 50 Shades stuff. 
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Kaos

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2018, 01:21:29 PM »
Never too soon to get a jump on your Christmas shopping.

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Endorsed by the entire Toupalaguardia family! 



"Daddy put it on that ass!" 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Godfather

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2018, 09:51:37 AM »
I'm getting you all chocolates for Christmas.


‘Edible Anus’ Company Makes Chocolate Molds of Your (Or a Loved One’s) Butthole


https://twentytwowords.com/edible-anus-company-makes-chocolate-molds-loved-ones-butthole/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=22&fbclid=IwAR3Q7B6Qz-owubavL2rg5WPi441OZo7n3hdfBH7tWStTeFant2-hbiL0cr8
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Saniflush

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2018, 10:06:52 AM »
Can you do them with vanilla and call them bleached?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2018, 10:17:28 AM »
Mmmm….now I can snack on your butthole anytime I want.  And they come in a convenient, zip-lock pouch to keep your butthole fresh for weeks.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2018, 10:22:59 AM »
Mmmmmm...that's good butthole!
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

wesfau2

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2018, 10:44:53 AM »
I love the idea of giving these as gifts to people that I don't really like.  I wouldn't tell them that they were snacking on my (literal) chocolate starfish, but I'd know.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Godfather

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2018, 11:49:36 AM »
I love the idea of giving these as gifts to people that I don't really like.  I wouldn't tell them that they were snacking on my (literal) chocolate starfish, but I'd know.
These chocolates taste like shit.
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Saniflush

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2018, 01:20:59 PM »
I love the idea of giving these as gifts to people that I don't really like.  I wouldn't tell them that they were snacking on my (literal) chocolate starfish, but I'd know.
Saaaaaaaaaay, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

wesfau2

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Re: Christmas Gifts
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2018, 04:17:31 PM »
Saaaaaaaaaay, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
This guy gets it.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.