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How to Halloween

Kaos

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How to Halloween
« on: November 01, 2018, 12:23:21 AM »
I'm "that guy" in the neighborhood.  On October 1, I start putting the Halloween display together.  I've got a projected ghost in the upstairs window, about two dozen lights (red, green, black, fire, etc.) illuminating headstones, floating ghosties, standing skeletons.  I usually have at least one skeleton on the roof. On Halloween night I run several fog machines, a lightning system that's synchronized to a huge speaker on my porch that plays a stream of about 50 horror movie themes (everything from Saw to Halloween to Exorcist to Walking Dead to yeah, everything.) Also have a random assortment of basic horror tracks.  Big Furry Head by Amon Tobin is a good one. 

Every year I choose some character and go big on creating it.  I've done Peter Criss, Robert Baratheon (Game of Thrones), Joker (before Heath Ledger's version), Two-Face, Slash and I don't know what all. Last year I did Jigsaw (the puppet).  This year it was Hellboy. 

Benefit?  Every hot mom in the neighborhood brings their kids and half of them want to have their picture taken with me.  There are some hot, hot moms in this neighborhood. I like seeing them.  I've done it long enough that kids from all over come to the house.  I probably had 500 kids come through tonight.  Fifteen of the giant bags of candy are gone. 

I had just about decided this was going to be my last year doing it big.  Kid in college, it's really just me and my friend/other.  But I was standing out in the yard and had at least a dozen parents tell me their kids beg them to drive by my house at night.  And the kids.  I heard one kid say he thinks about coming to my house all Halloween and can't wait to get there to see the monsters.  Oh well.  Maybe another year. 

So I did the outfit.  Went and had some drinks.  Was about to take it off and was reminded that we needed a few things from the store.  So I said, well let's give this a shot.  I'll just go to Wal Mart in costume and grab the things we need.  Just to see what would happen. 

I roamed the entire store in full Hellboy regalia.  Right hand of doom and all.  Nobody in the store batted an eye.  I asked one of the people working if they knew where the pancake mix was and she just told me the aisle without even a double take.  Asked another where the cat food was and same thing. 

When I checked out, the lady who rang it up did the whole thing, didn't acknowledge the outfit until the very end.  She gets to the last item and then says, "what, no deviled eggs?"  I thought that was good. 

But I wonder what it says about Wal Mart that nobody even noticed Hellboy wandering the aisles? 

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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

CCTAU

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2018, 12:32:34 AM »
Well truthfully, nobody is scared ofand old demon who can't take an upright photo!
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Snaggletiger

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2018, 12:38:04 AM »
Well truthfully, nobody is scared ofand old demon who can't take an upright photo!
He got all sideways with them.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2018, 12:43:43 AM »
We had ONE....count em'...ONE trick or treater.  And that was a neighbor bringing their 14 month old grandchild down to show off.  We have 3-4 neighborhoods here that basically dominate Halloween.  They have police directing traffic into them.  The place I workout is in a strip mall right by a Publix.  One of the neighborhoods is across the street...and super busy 4-lane road.  I had a 5:15 class and at 6:30, it took me 20 minutes just to get out of the parking lot. 

But overall, it's pretty cool because everyone really gets into it. 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Saniflush

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2018, 06:24:39 AM »
I love Halloween cause everyone goes somewhere else....Including my own kids.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Buzz Killington

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2018, 08:51:26 AM »
I'm sensing an update coming on People of Walmart
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Kaos

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2018, 09:51:32 AM »
I'm sensing an update coming on People of Walmart
If anybody had even noticed I'd think the same.  But nobody did.  Just went about their business as if the son of satan walked around looking for pancakes on a regular basis.  
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Godfather

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2018, 12:10:40 PM »
We had ONE....count em'...ONE trick or treater.  And that was a neighbor bringing their 14 month old grandchild down to show off.  We have 3-4 neighborhoods here that basically dominate Halloween.  They have police directing traffic into them.  The place I workout is in a strip mall right by a Publix.  One of the neighborhoods is across the street...and super busy 4-lane road.  I had a 5:15 class and at 6:30, it took me 20 minutes just to get out of the parking lot.

But overall, it's pretty cool because everyone really gets into it.
I hate it for you that you were late to your pilates class.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2018, 12:45:46 PM »
I hate it for you that you were late to your pilates class.
It WASN'T a pilates class!  Not specifically.  Okay, yes, there were some pilates involved.  More yoga than pilates but you really get the same stretch.  Me and some of the girls were talking about it afterwards over mocha frappucinos.  I wound up losing track of time because we got into the funniest discussion about themed Christmas trees. 

But it wasn't a pilates class.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2018, 01:32:11 PM »
Wish I had snags issue. I bought 700 pieces of candy. Gone in about 75 mins. 
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WDE

Kaos

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2018, 01:43:23 PM »
Wish I had snags issue. I bought 700 pieces of candy. Gone in about 75 mins.

15 bags.  Average of 220 pieces a bag.  And I had little toys and rice krispies treats and ring pops mixed in.  

That stuff is gone. 

I think some of the kids may have come through more than once.  That one little fart who was kicking headstones over did for sure.  
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GH2001

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2018, 02:38:08 PM »
15 bags.  Average of 220 pieces a bag.  And I had little toys and rice krispies treats and ring pops mixed in. 

That stuff is gone.

I think some of the kids may have come through more than once.  That one little fart who was kicking headstones over did for sure. 

I started by letting them pick their own piece. Until the little shits started grabbing handfuls and sticking their tongues out at me. Then I took control of the bucket - 1 piece per kid. And I pick which one you get. Don’t like it? Go somewhere else. Brats. 
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WDE

Buzz Killington

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2018, 02:45:59 PM »
We only had about a hundred kids last night.  We have had as many as 300 in years past.  I blame Trump and the failing economy 
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

The Six

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2018, 02:49:03 PM »
We only had about a hundred kids last night.  We have had as many as 300 in years past.  I blame Trump and the failing economy
It's probably because the kids could feel the white privilege coming from your house and chose to avoid it as part of the youth movement's blue wave. 
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CCTAU

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2018, 03:05:51 PM »
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

chinook

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2018, 03:16:54 PM »
i hate cats.
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The Six

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #16 on: November 01, 2018, 03:17:40 PM »

Michael Myers looks like he just took a wicked hit off some strong weed.
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GH2001

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #17 on: November 01, 2018, 03:50:17 PM »
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WDE

CCTAU

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2018, 04:15:04 PM »
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Godfather

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Re: How to Halloween
« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2018, 04:21:51 PM »

Fuck dude you have gained some weight.
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