Well I just started drinking again, try it, you'll like it
Yeah, the drinking thing.Are there perhaps any gentlemen's clubs in your particular area? If so, you may find that gracing that establishment with your presence would brighten an otherwise dreary day.
Shit... your pretty much down to renting a moped or hitting on a fat woman. Good Luck
Why don't you try jerking off with a noose around your neck.Make sure you have a spotter, though. Better safe than sorry.
Are you staying in a hotel? Why don't you grab a few extra travel-sized bottles of moisturizer off the housekeeping cart, put your hand in the shower cap, and check yourself for worms? Or, were you waiting for Chopper to do that for you?
Make sure you have a spotter, though. Better safe than sorry.