Tiger Woods swung a golf club!!!

[Buzz Killington]

Also learned what a kinkajou is.  Or that they exist and then I looked that shoot up.

Co-worker caught one of them the other day on her Pokemon Go app.  Heard a lot of screaming and what sounded like a whip when she caught it.

[Kaos]

Learned some important shit in this thread.

K shoots golf about as well as Tiger Woods.  Well, K's a bit more modest about it: "That's not a hell of a lot better than me"

Also learned what a kinkajou is.  Or that they exist and then I looked that shit up.

A little misguided.  Woods on his worst day scores in the same general range as I do on my best days.  In other words if his score was atop the leaderboard, I'd make the tournament cut.  I'm not going to take him down in a match play scenario unless he has one of those things where he falls to the ground and quits the tournament. Plus he's probably playing from the black tees when I'm at the whites.  So there's that too.  
Also: 

[wesfau2]

A little misguided.  Woods on his worst day scores in the same general range as I do on my best days.  In other words if his score was atop the leaderboard, I'd make the tournament cut.  I'm not going to take him down in a match play scenario unless he has one of those things where he falls to the ground and quits the tournament. Plus he's probably playing from the black tees when I'm at the whites.  So there's that too.  

Your score on the finest Baldwin county courses has jack shit to do with his on championship courses under the scrutiny of millions worldwide.

[Kaos]

Your score on the finest Baldwin county courses has jack shit to do with his on championship courses under the scrutiny of millions worldwide.

You have no idea what it's like to tee it up in front of literally four or five people drinking beer on the back porch of the country club while one of the guys you play with sits a GoPro on the ground next to your club.  That's real pressure.  

I'd really like to see Woods navigate a par 3 at Holly Hills Country Club in Bay Minette where you've accidentally parked the cart on the green because it's indistinguishable from the fairway.  I've done that and birdied the hole.  Let's see his pampered ass match that!

I'd like to see how well he plays when a fat four-foot water moccasin is snaking out of a scummy pond toward his ball at Timber Creek in Daphne.  I've done that and dropped an eight iron a spinning three feet from the pin.  And I didn't even have a caddie.

I've played three courses he's played on.  The game is a lot easier on courses like that where everything's manicured and expertly maintained.  I tend to play better at better courses.   Just the way it is.   

You're an idiot if you think I'm remotely trying to indicate that I'm ready to play against Woods (or even the worst PGA pro) or any type of championship golf at any level.  I couldn't even beat the club pros or the old men who play every day at most of the places I play.  Not even close.  This was merely a hyperbolic exercise to convey that Woods is no longer all he's made out to be.  Of course he's a better golfer than I am.  He's supposed to be.  

[Buzz Killington]

Just once, I would like to see Woods tee off from the temporary tee box on 17 at Highland Park.

[Kaos]

Just once, I would like to see Woods tee off from the temporary tee box on 17 at Highland Park.

Exactly.  How well would he play without a caddie handing him powerbars, telling him what club to use, massaging his muscles, etc. 

[Godfather]

Just once, I would like to see Woods tee off from the temporary tee box on 17 at Highland Park.

I'd like to see Tiger putt out when the hole has a cup filled with piss in it from the group before him.

[Kaos]

I'd like to see Tiger putt out when the hole has a cup filled with piss in it from the group before him.

Or hit the green when somebody ahead of him stuck the pin in a sandtrap.  

[Godfather]

Or hit the green when somebody ahead of him stuck the pin in a sandtrap.  

Fuck I forgot about that....good times.

[wesfau2]

Funny...we pulled those shenanigans at the Highlands (sometimes in the presence of a marshal) and got no static.

We were, apparently, a little too rowdy for the folks up north, though.

[WiregrassTiger]

You have no idea what it's like to tee it up in front of literally four or five people drinking beer on the back porch of the country club while one of the guys you play with sits a GoPro on the ground next to your club.  That's real pressure.  

I'd really like to see Woods navigate a par 3 at Holly Hills Country Club in Bay Minette where you've accidentally parked the cart on the green because it's indistinguishable from the fairway.  I've done that and birdied the hole.  Let's see his pampered ass match that!

I'd like to see how well he plays when a fat four-foot water moccasin is snaking out of a scummy pond toward his ball at Timber Creek in Daphne.  I've done that and dropped an eight iron a spinning three feet from the pin.  And I didn't even have a caddie.

I've played three courses he's played on.  The game is a lot easier on courses like that where everything's manicured and expertly maintained.  I tend to play better at better courses.   Just the way it is.  

You're an idiot if you think I'm remotely trying to indicate that I'm ready to play against Woods (or even the worst PGA pro) or any type of championship golf at any level.  I couldn't even beat the club pros or the old men who play every day at most of the places I play.  Not even close.  This was merely a hyperbolic exercise to convey that Woods is no longer all he's made out to be.  Of course he's a better golfer than I am.  He's supposed to be.  

I don’t care what Wes thinks honestly. I think you’d take Tiger.
I’m betting on you anyway.
I believe after I take a baseball bat to his knee a few swings that you’ll beat that ass handily.

[Buzz Killington]

Funny...we pulled those shenanigans at the Highlands (sometimes in the presence of a marshal) and got no static.

We were, apparently, a little too rowdy for the folks up north, though.

Pissing in their cup might have been a little over the top.

[wesfau2]

Pissing in their cup might have been a little over the top.

That piss was digital.

[Kaos]

Just in case you were wondering, here's a shot-by-shot tracker of the guy currently in 57th place at the Wells Fargo Championship. 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/golf/pga/woods/2018/05/06/tiger-woods-tracker-wells-fargo-championship-final-round/584636002/

When I find the shot-by-shot trackers of the 56 ahead of him I'll try to post those too.  But don't wait up.  

[Kaos]

So far tonight I've seen three articles on how badly Tiger sucked at the Open (and granted his 'day that sucks' is a day I'd leave the course pretty happy).  I read all three and still have no idea who is leading the tournament.  None of the leaders were even mentioned in the shot-by-shot-by-shot-by-shot-by-putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt accounting of Tiger's dismal day.  

He shot 78.  I know that because I played yesterday and shot 83.  I was pretty happy with that.  Played with the same ball from the first drive to the last putt. No mulligans. No scuffed, skiffed, diffed or dunked shots.  Hit 12 greens in regulation.  Only one double bogey. Missed a couple of putts short, but thought I played reasonably well.  Nobody wrote an any articles about me.  

[WiregrassTiger]

Nobody wrote an any articles about me. 

I have read several PM’s that have been written about you, just recently. And a lot of them in the past too.

[The Prowler]

Quick, someone write an article about Kaos playing putt putt golf so he'll stop crying & complaining every time Tiger Woods has a few written about him.

[WiregrassTiger]

Quick, someone write an article about Kaos playing putt putt golf so he'll stop crying & complaining every time Tiger Woods has a few written about him.

Dude, you are one big talker. Kaos has probably played pirates island in gulf shores more than anyone here and usually birdies the windmill hole. Only hit the blade twice.

He made the clown nose light up at the putt off finals in Panama City.

Kaos would kick Tiger’s ass and then make you wish you didn’t question his game, post match.

You really need to lay off k.

[The Prowler]

Dude, you are one big talker. Kaos has probably played pirates island in gulf shores more than anyone here and usually birdies the windmill hole. Only hit the blade twice.

He made the clown nose light up at the putt off finals in Panama City.

Kaos would kick Tiger’s ass and then make you wish you didn’t question his game, post match.

You really need to lay off k.

I've never hit the windmill blades at pirate island and I've always gotten a hole in one...you don't see me claiming that I'm nearly as good as Jack Nicklaus.

[WiregrassTiger]

I've never hit the windmill blades at pirate island and I've always gotten a hole in one...you don't see me claiming that I'm nearly as good as Jack Nicklaus.

Kaos wouldn’t claim that either. Not a white golfer.