I know you were sweating Kaos. When Tiger dropped that 44 ft putt on 17 to climb within one, I know you were praying he wouldn't make the playoff. Tiger Woods, huge gallery, red shirt, 1 shot off the lead. It's ok to admit you were worried he was about to make magic and pick up a win just a few weeks after you talking shit about him.
The guy had a fusion in his lower back and still swings the golf club harder than most on tour. Nobody had any idea if he could do it or how far his body will take him. But he's a hell of a lot more relevant than you give him credit for. In a week where some big names missed the cut, Tiger finished tied for 2nd just one shot back. When his putting gets better, and it will get better, he will win again. If he stays healthy he'll be relevant again. He won't be the same Tiger as he was but who could possibly expect that? Either way, ratings are up and ticket sales are up. You don't have to like him, you can just keep hating him. Doesn't change the fact that he's the biggest name in golf and if he's playing within 4 shots of the lead on Sundays you better get ready to watch him. Or you can go shoot a 78 and bitch and Tiger at your local course. Either way, Tiger isn't going anywhere if he stays healthy.
Actually I wasn't. I was trying to watch other shit but my fucking phone kept blowing up with ESPN having multiple orgasms over him not completely sucking ass for once in the last five years.
Magic? Fuck that noise. No magic. He might win at some point. Never said he wouldn't. Hell logic dictates that if he plays enough tournaments he will eventually win one same as the rest of the field. Doesn't make him less of a chump.
If/when the surgical pins come flying out of his back because "he swings so hard" (fuck him) I won't really give a shit either way except that I'll dread having to hear about his fucking rehab and how he's going to be 'back' again at some point.
I don't like the guy, I've never liked the guy. I'm not going to start now.
"The biggest name in golf" is EXACTLY why I have a problem with this motherfucker. He hasn't done a single shitting thing of any substance or relevance in nearly five years. Other players have. But the media has to stroke his filthy dick and ignore the remainder of the game. If they'd let go of his ass and actually put the work in to tell the stories of other players, tournaments, events, etc.? Maybe this fuck would fade into history where he belongs -- EVEN if he wins another tournament or two.
I don't shoot 78. I can, but I usually score more like Woods does for the last half decade and am in the mid 80s. And I never, ever talk about Tiger Fucking Woods except to note some things here. Other people mention him in passing, but he isn't even on my radar when I'm playing.
If I'm going to watch a fucking tournament (which I rarely do) I want to see the leaders and some of the other interesting stories of the week. This week it happened to be that muddy fucker apparently because he was in contention. That's fine. But when i can't even find out a single fucking thing about any of the rest of the tournament -- including who won -- without dumpster diving through five or six different Woods is back articles? Then I'm in Fuck that Clown mode. When he was in "contention" (and not even in the Top Eight at the time) I got nothing on my phone but damn near constant alerts about whatever shot he made. "Woods hits the Fairway on 11" WHY do I give a fuck about that? He was in fourth or fifth place at the time. Tell me who's winning. Don't deprive those guys of their story.
He doesn't have to be "four shots off the lead." If his dim ass is still on the course, even if he's barely made the cut, the media will report on what color shit he took behind a tree on the 15th and ignore everything else going on in the tournament. Some ESPN or CBS asshole will probably run over, scoop the turds into a bag, send half off to be analyzed and taste the other half to see if they can discern what brand of fruit rollups the funky fuck eats. Give it a fucking rest.
I guess that's what pisses me off. I enjoyed following the game much more when he wasn't a constant part of it.
Did I mention I hate this fucking time change? I've been pissed off all day about nothing in particular.
185 Replies
30821 Views