If the jolly fat bastard (the good one - not that greasy chode with the meat sweats out in Fayetteville) were real, who would you want him to leave under the tree to replace the crayon eating moron we have at the moment?
Answering "Gruden, Petrino, Kiffin, or Miles" will result in a Legatron 54 yard field goal kick square your gooch.
Show your work.