Preseason Predikshuns

[Godfather]

- Auburn fans will be shaking their heads several times wondering why "we hadn't run the ball" in that situation.

- bammer vs fsu game will be boring as bama will throttle them and will be declared greatest team evah.

- Buzz will get drunk at an x-Gate and hit on a woman, she will probably be married.

- 4 team playoff will include an SEC team, Ohio State, Oklahoma and USC

[AUTiger1]

- GH will show up to a tailgate after running a marathon and try to hydrate himself with alcohol.
- Snags won't cut a bitch, again.
- This year I will finally cut Snags.
- GodFather will probably show up at a game when my son has some boy scout outing that I have to attend and I won't be able to show him a "Pickle Surprise", again.
- Uncle Sani will tell one of his stories and make a few women blush.

[GH2001]

- GH will show up to a tailgate after running a marathon and try to hydrate himself with alcohol.
- Snags won't cut a bitch, again.
- This year I will finally cut Snags.
- GodFather will probably show up at a game when my son has some boy scout outing that I have to attend and I won't be able to show him a "Pickle Surprise", again.
- Uncle Sani will tell one of his stories and make a few women blush.

Whoa whoa whoa....I have an issue with that comment.

First of all there is no try.

Second I like to drink before running them. But also after as well.

Just want it to be accurate since Teh X ain't fake news.


My perdickshuns:

Alexander Shannurah will come to an x gate as a guest of snags

Buzz will dance a lovely dance like only buzz can

Gf will hump someone's Yeti cooler slightly lit

Joes BBQ will once again be off the chain

A hurricane with threaten the weather for at least one home game but hopefully it will be mercer

Georgia fans will pee on things and bark

Chads hair will be even longer and strike an uncanny resemblance to chris robinson

[The Six]

Alabama:
- The Alabama Death Kill No Fun Machine will continue and will continue to cheat like all getout, get all the ref calls, and no one will do boo about it. Yawn.
- The media will slurp Saban dry. And his Patriots cast off OC who will be declared a genius for handing the ball off 55 times to one of 4 5-star RBs all year.
- Somehow RuPaul Hurts winds up on NYC for the Heisman ceremony which he will not win but we will never heard the end of from West Vance.

Big1014
- Michigan finishes third again.
- Penn State beats Ohio State, wins the conference, but still finds a way to screw up and lose somewhere along the way keeping them out of the playoff.
- Wisconsin is secretly good and no one cares.

Big 12
- Chokesondicklahoma loses a couple games and the seat under Wet Boy New Coach gets hot
- Tom Herman gets Texas to win 8 or 9 games and is declared the new it, gets huge contract extension, but is fired in the off season for blowing his bonus on hookers and blow.
- Oklahoma State goes undefeated, into the playoffs, and gets smoked by Alabama in the first round.
- Baylor hires Corey and Clint Myers to coach Softball

ACC
- Turns out the only two good teams are Clemson and Free Shoes and one them makes the playoffs
- Rest of the conference is turd

SEC
- Butch Jones, Derek Mason, Kevin Sumlin (if he loses to Auburn) are the only firings at the end of the season
- Paul Fistburn is officially hired to blow the wind up the taint of the Tide full time
- Tim Tebow gets married on live TV...to a DUDE

Auburn
- Jay Jacobs retires; Kaos rejoices by eating raw tomatoes and Prowler actually posts something worth reading

POTUS
- Trump resigns after failing to get anything done because Congress is a bunch of limp wrist see you next tuesday mothertruckers who couldn't find their ass if you packed it with uranium and gave them geiger counters

N Korea
- Un dies in his sleep after some Chinese James Bond ganks him Arya Stark style

NFL
- Roger Goddell falls at work, sustains a concussion and develops CTE

George R.R. Martin
- Finally releases The Winds of Winter which follows what's been going on the show since they ran out of books much to everyone's dismay.
- Next book slated for release in 2027

That's a good start for now.

[WiregrassTiger]

- Auburn fans will be shaking their heads several times wondering why "we hadn't run the ball" in that situation.

- bammer vs fsu game will be boring as bama will throttle them and will be declared greatest team evah.

- Buzz will get drunk at an x-Gate and hit on a woman, she will probably be married.

- 4 team playoff will include an SEC team, Ohio State, Oklahoma and USC

I do not think Buzz should hit old women.

[Snaggletiger]

- GH will show up to a tailgate after running a marathon and try to hydrate himself with alcohol.
- Snags won't cut a bitch, again.
- This year I will finally cut Snags.
- GodFather will probably show up at a game when my son has some boy scout outing that I have to attend and I won't be able to show him a "Pickle Surprise", again.
- Uncle Sani will tell one of his stories and make a few women blush.

I oughta' punch you in the forehead.  And really hard too!

A really huge, jacked-up black 4WD pickup with spiked rims will pop the curb at Joe's, and a tiny, little woman with a Yorkie will parachute out to the ground and join the tailgate.  One or more X'rs will pop chub over the event.

Will Hastings will have 62 catches this season.

Paul James XXVIV will become a 3rd down sack specialist.

I will bring my nuttz to at least one game this year.  Probably Mercer.

 

[Godfather]

I oughta' punch you in the forehead.  And really hard too!

A really huge, jacked-up black 4WD pickup with spiked rims will pop the curb at Joe's, and a tiny, little woman with a Yorkie will parachute out to the ground and join the tailgate.  One or more X'rs will pop chub over the event.

Will Hastings will have 62 catches this season.

Paul James XXVIV will become a 3rd down sack specialist.

I will bring my nuttz to at least one game this year.  Probably Mercer.

You are only bringing your son to the Mercer game? That's kind of shitty of you.