I'd hire Art Briles. While announcing him as the new OC I'd tell the media to Fuck Off and that he's never avaliable for comment.
Serious note...Art Briles was the fall guy for a Baptist school that continues to sweep things under the rug, just so they can look good on the surface. There are people who have known Briles for 30-40 years and they're all saying the same, fall guy for the school or he did it to remove attention towards his son (OC) or son-in-law (Offensive assistant).