Top 10 Of Hate

[Snaggletiger]

The dot  I am a gay twerker that has no balls!!!!  I also have no idea how to use the quote function to post stories, so I annoy the piss out of others.  I like male genatalia in and around my mouth. has a piece up (Slide show) on their version of the top 10 things or people that Auburn fans hate.  I believe we could come up with a few replacements or different rankings but overall, a fairly solid list.

10. The final drive by FSU in 2013  This wouldn't be in my top 10 but it's close only because of who was under center.

9. Stanley McClover  Made the list because of his claims of meeting the bag man several times.

8. Dan Mullen  In the top 10 because many AU fans think he was behind leaking the Cam Newton claims to the media.

7. Thayer Evans  A member of the Bag-O-Dicks Club.  Should he be higher?

6. Eric Ramsey   

5. Nick Saban  I'll just leave that one here.

4. Jochen Wiest  Tree burner.  Not in my top 10.  Idiotic, pathetic thing to do but I think it was more of a "Watch this.  Hold my beer" moment.  He's going to pay.

3. Selena Roberts  K's favorite

2. Paul Finebaum  Besides Bama, what team's top 10 list is he not on?

1. Dallas and Harvey Updyke tied for the top spot.


My personal list would have Georgia fans right there with Dallas.  Thoughts?

[GH2001]

I hate ga fans more than Saban. Is that wrong?

Saban is that hot chick that knows that. She's coniving. She ruthless. Uses it to get what she wants and you hate her for it but she's still hot and you respect it In small doses the hate aside. She is what she is. Hot.

Ga fans are that fat ugly girl that thinks she's hot. But she's a 4 on a good day. But still acts like a 10 even though everyone laughs at her. And no one wants to hang around her. But she's still oblivious to it and swears it is everyone else not her.

There. That's why I hate them more.

And Dallas. God I hate that guy.

[Townhallsavoy]

Man. Top ten? Not sure I could really rank them all correctly. I'll start from the top.

1. Updykes.

Not just Harvey. That section of their fanbase that are exactly like him. The ones that let their fat preteen kid jump out of a rusty minivan and spray paint "roll tide" on College Street in Auburn. The ones that throw beer bottles. The ones that never got a degree from there.

2. The REC.

Or whatever you want to call them. These are the Paul Bryant Jr types who have "fuck you" money and powerful ties to the media. They actively harm Auburn and do anything and everything - morals be damned - to keep Alabama successful at football.

3. Thayer Evans, Selena Roberts, Joe Schlong.

The media idiots that tried to slander Auburn. I sincerely believe #2 and #3 are directly connected through sacks of money.

4. Georgia fans.

Fuck em and give them goat aids. The WORST football experience of my life was the one time I went to Athens. 2007. Spit on. Barked at. Slapped on the back. Kicked while urinating. Their pizza was bagel bites.

5. Jochen Wiest.

This guy isn't really #5. Seemed like a sad, pathetic human being. I feel more sorry for him than hate like I do Updyke.

6. The National Sports Media in 2004.

I believe with all my heart that Auburn was as talented or better than the 2004 USC team. That was one of the most talented teams in SEC history and as we quickly learned a few years later, the SEC is by far the more talented conference in the country. But the media choked on too many Trojans and Sooners to even give Auburn a chance.

7. Jay Jacobs.

This one really is higher. I'm refraining from putting McClover or anyone like him on the list because I don't want to hate Auburn people. But I can't leave Jacobs off. He has tarnished Auburn football. Ran out Tuberville. Embarrassed the program with the hiring of Gene Chizik. Lazily fell into Malzahn. Altered the entire atmosphere of an Auburn game - something that most Auburn fans agree has been consistent for decades. Just plain dumb.

8. Dan Mullen's Wife.

Mullen didn't leak shit. His wife and Schad were boning or something.

9. Verne.

I like Verne's voice. It means big time SEC football is on TV. But I can't stand the guy. I've been convinced he hates Auburn ever since he did that stupid dance during the 2007 Auburn-Georgia game. Not to mention how every time Auburn scores or does something big he shouts, "OH NO!"

10. Recruiting Tricks.

Wasn't sure what to call this. This one is higher than 10. But CJ Moseley, Brent Calloway, Dee Liner, Rashaad Evans, Reuban Foster, Cyrus K - those assholes that at some point were committed to or leaning Auburn and jumped to Alabama through sketchy circumstances.

[Buzz Killington]

10. Harvey Updyke.  Could be higher, depending on the day.
9.   The "unbiased" reporting and coverage of sports by the local media.  Take your pick of any sportscaster or local radio host.
8.   Bar Brunt.  Yes, I realize their rampant cheating started long before he came to town.  It just seemed that he was the top of the class when it comes to cheating bammers.
7.   1983 Miami.  How the hell do you jump over 5 teams to take the national title?
6.   tie - Dan Mullen, Urban Meyer, Thayer Evans, the New York Times, etc. for the Cam colonoscopy that Auburn went through thanks to all of the above.  Also, see #9 above.
5.   Eric Ramsey and his lovelly bride Twialatha or whatever the hell that shoplifting bitch's name is.
4.   Tiny Terry Tater Tot...first for screwing up Stephen Davis and second for your best RB recruit being Cencade Pennington.
3.   Nick Saban.  See #8
2.   Van Tiffin.  That one still sticks in my craw more than most for some reason.  To this day, if I saw him anywhere out in public, I would instinctively sweep the right leg.
1.   Dallas.

[dallaswareagle]

10. Harvey Updyke.  Could be higher, depending on the day.
9.   The "unbiased" reporting and coverage of sports by the local media.  Take your pick of any sportscaster or local radio host.
8.   Bar Brunt.  Yes, I realize their rampant cheating started long before he came to town.  It just seemed that he was the top of the class when it comes to cheating bammers.
7.   1983 Miami.  How the hell do you jump over 5 teams to take the national title?
6.   tie - Dan Mullen, Urban Meyer, Thayer Evans, the New York Times, etc. for the Cam colonoscopy that Auburn went through thanks to all of the above.  Also, see #9 above.
5.   Eric Ramsey and his lovelly bride Twialatha or whatever the hell that shoplifting bitch's name is.
4.   Tiny Terry Tater Tot...first for screwing up Stephen Davis and second for your best RB recruit being Cencade Pennington.
3.   Nick Saban.  See #8
2.   Van Tiffin.  That one still sticks in my craw more than most for some reason.  To this day, if I saw him anywhere out in public, I would instinctively sweep the right leg.
1.   Dallas.

No number 1 ranking is a bad #1.  I guess.   

[Kaos]

Man. Top ten? Not sure I could really rank them all correctly. I'll start from the top.

1. Updykes.

Not just Harvey. That section of their fanbase that are exactly like him. The ones that let their fat preteen kid jump out of a rusty minivan and spray paint "roll tide" on College Street in Auburn. The ones that throw beer bottles. The ones that never got a degree from there.

2. The REC.

Or whatever you want to call them. These are the Paul Bryant Jr types who have "fuck you" money and powerful ties to the media. They actively harm Auburn and do anything and everything - morals be damned - to keep Alabama successful at football.

3. Thayer Evans, Selena Roberts, Joe Schlong.

The media idiots that tried to slander Auburn. I sincerely believe #2 and #3 are directly connected through sacks of money.

4. Georgia fans.

Fuck em and give them goat aids. The WORST football experience of my life was the one time I went to Athens. 2007. Spit on. Barked at. Slapped on the back. Kicked while urinating. Their pizza was bagel bites.

5. Jochen Wiest.

This guy isn't really #5. Seemed like a sad, pathetic human being. I feel more sorry for him than hate like I do Updyke.

6. The National Sports Media in 2004.

I believe with all my heart that Auburn was as talented or better than the 2004 USC team. That was one of the most talented teams in SEC history and as we quickly learned a few years later, the SEC is by far the more talented conference in the country. But the media choked on too many Trojans and Sooners to even give Auburn a chance.

7. Jay Jacobs.

This one really is higher. I'm refraining from putting McClover or anyone like him on the list because I don't want to hate Auburn people. But I can't leave Jacobs off. He has tarnished Auburn football. Ran out Tuberville. Embarrassed the program with the hiring of Gene Chizik. Lazily fell into Malzahn. Altered the entire atmosphere of an Auburn game - something that most Auburn fans agree has been consistent for decades. Just plain dumb.

8. Dan Mullen's Wife.

Mullen didn't leak shit. His wife and Schad were boning or something.

9. Verne.

I like Verne's voice. It means big time SEC football is on TV. But I can't stand the guy. I've been convinced he hates Auburn ever since he did that stupid dance during the 2007 Auburn-Georgia game. Not to mention how every time Auburn scores or does something big he shouts, "OH NO!"

10. Recruiting Tricks.

Wasn't sure what to call this. This one is higher than 10. But CJ Moseley, Brent Calloway, Dee Liner, Rashaad Evans, Reuban Foster, Cyrus K - those assholes that at some point were committed to or leaning Auburn and jumped to Alabama through sketchy circumstances.

I concur with one exception.  The Weist guy isn't anywhere on my radar.  Neither is Stanley McClover as you noted.

The group I see that's missing?  Richard Arrington and Donald Watkins. 
Pat Dye said no thanks to the Iron Bowl staying in Birmingham. He began to dominate Bama.  Arrington and Watkins with the dope Twatlitter Ramsey as their patsy destroyed Dye and nearly broke the program. 

[Kaos]

2.   Van Tiffin.  That one still sticks in my craw more than most for some reason.  To this day, if I saw him anywhere out in public, I would instinctively sweep the right leg.

Hilarious.  I actually ran into the guy in University Mall in Tuscaloosa about two weeks after the game.  Literally ran into each other not looking.  He said "pardon me" and after making sure I wasn't wearing Auburn gear, I responded "yeah? well fuck you." 

[Snaggletiger]

10. Harvey Updyke.  Could be higher, depending on the day.
9.   The "unbiased" reporting and coverage of sports by the local media.  Take your pick of any sportscaster or local radio host.
8.   Bar Brunt.  Yes, I realize their rampant cheating started long before he came to town.  It just seemed that he was the top of the class when it comes to cheating bammers.
7.   1983 Miami.  How the hell do you jump over 5 teams to take the national title?
6.   tie - Dan Mullen, Urban Meyer, Thayer Evans, the New York Times, etc. for the Cam colonoscopy that Auburn went through thanks to all of the above.  Also, see #9 above.
5.   Eric Ramsey and his lovelly bride Twialatha or whatever the hell that shoplifting bitch's name is.
4.   Tiny Terry Tater Tot...first for screwing up Stephen Davis and second for your best RB recruit being Cencade Pennington.
3.   Nick Saban.  See #8
2.   Van Tiffin.  That one still sticks in my craw more than most for some reason.  To this day, if I saw him anywhere out in public, I would instinctively sweep the right leg.
1.   Dallas.

My therapist says with one, maybe two more years of medication and counseling, that nasty tic should go away and the nightmares will be over.

[Kaos]

My therapist says with one, maybe two more years of medication and counseling, that nasty tic should go away and the nightmares will be over.

Dude.  I watched that game in the basement of one of my best friend's houses.  Sweet setup.  He had an apartment in the basement -- fridge, stove, fireplace, separate bedroom, hot tub -- and three sisters who had lots of friends.  One was a year or so older, one a year or so younger and one about two years younger.  Best days of my life.  But I digress. 

About 25 of us watched the game there.  There was maybe one AU fan besides me in a sea of Bama fans.  I left that night and all of those Bama fans, the guys who helped convince me to go there so we could stay in the same crew and have the same fun,  every single one of those guys congratulated me on us winning the national championship. 

Fuck Miami.

Little known fact?  Mike Archer, the LSU head coach who kept us from winning the national title in 1988, was on the staff at Miami in 1983. 

Fuck Mike Archer. 

[Snaggletiger]

Dude.  I watched that game in the basement of one of my best friend's houses.  Sweet setup.  He had an apartment in the basement -- fridge, stove, fireplace, separate bedroom, hot tub -- and three sisters who had lots of friends.  One was a year or so older, one a year or so younger and one about two years younger.  Best days of my life.  But I digress. 

About 25 of us watched the game there.  There was maybe one AU fan besides me in a sea of Bama fans.  I left that night and all of those Bama fans, the guys who helped convince me to go there so we could stay in the same crew and have the same fun,  every single one of those guys congratulated me on us winning the national championship. 

Fuck Miami.

Little known fact?  Mike Archer, the LSU head coach who kept us from winning the national title in 1988, was on the staff at Miami in 1983. 

Fuck Mike Archer.

I was in the Stupor Dome.  First trip to N.O. Huge learning experience.  Took full advantage of my first trip to Bourbon Street and had a great time in "prepping" for the game.  A couple of hours before we were going to head to the Dome, we found this little hole in the wall place called La Croissant.  Now understand, this is 1983.  As far as I know there is no Fat Tuesday's and none of us had ever seen a place with a wall chocked full of Daiquiri machines.  Sweet.

So, let's have a daiquiri or two before the game.  I'm 22.  I've had a daiquiri...right?  (Okay, let's fast forward to the issue here.  I've been drinking all day and now I'm downing drinks with 151 proof rum in them at 22 years old....not realizing they're 151 proof.)  On the taxi ride to the Stupor Dome, I'm hanging out the window cussing Michigan fans and anyone who will listen.  We get to the Dome.  Hand them our tickets, take 5 steps in and AAAAAAAHHHHHHH....the angels sang.  A kiosk serving bourbon.  At a football game???  Really???  And I'm reeeeaally drunk already???  Well holy hot damn, pour me one up. 

I remember warm ups.  I remember Al Del Greco's winning kick.  I remember leaving my seat to go piss after the 1st quarter.  I remember returning to my seat with 2:00 minutes to play.  I also remember making plans to move to Ann Arbor for some strange reason.  Plus, I recall my future wife not speaking to me.  I definitely remember the elation of knowing we had just won the MNC since we were #3 while #1 and #2 had lost in front of us.

I need counseling.   

[Hogwally]

I was in the Stupor Dome.  First trip to N.O. Huge learning experience.  Took full advantage of my first trip to Bourbon Street and had a great time in "prepping" for the game.  A couple of hours before we were going to head to the Dome, we found this little hole in the wall place called La Croissant.  Now understand, this is 1983.  As far as I know there is no Fat Tuesday's and none of us had ever seen a place with a wall chocked full of Daiquiri machines.  Sweet.

So, let's have a daiquiri or two before the game.  I'm 22.  I've had a daiquiri...right?  (Okay, let's fast forward to the issue here.  I've been drinking all day and now I'm downing drinks with 151 proof rum in them at 22 years old....not realizing they're 151 proof.)  On the taxi ride to the Stupor Dome, I'm hanging out the window cussing Michigan fans and anyone who will listen.  We get to the Dome.  Hand them our tickets, take 5 steps in and AAAAAAAHHHHHHH....the angels sang.  A kiosk serving bourbon.  At a football game???  Really???  And I'm reeeeaally drunk already???  Well holy hot damn, pour me one up. 

I remember warm ups.  I remember Al Del Greco's winning kick.  I remember leaving my seat to go piss after the 1st quarter.  I remember returning to my seat with 2:00 minute to play.  I also remember making plans to move to Ann Arbor for some strange reason.  Plus, I recall my future wife not speaking to me.  I definitely remember the elation of knowing we had just won the MNC since we were #3 while #1 and #2 had lost in front of us.

I need counseling.   

That's more than Wes remembers of the 2013 Iron Bowl, watching it in the same city.

[Buzz Killington]

I was in the Stupor Dome.  First trip to N.O. Huge learning experience.  Took full advantage of my first trip to Bourbon Street and had a great time in "prepping" for the game.  A couple of hours before we were going to head to the Dome, we found this little hole in the wall place called La Croissant.  Now understand, this is 1983.  As far as I know there is no Fat Tuesday's and none of us had ever seen a place with a wall chocked full of Daiquiri machines.  Sweet.

So, let's have a daiquiri or two before the game.  I'm 22.  I've had a daiquiri...right?  (Okay, let's fast forward to the issue here.  I've been drinking all day and now I'm downing drinks with 151 proof rum in them at 22 years old....not realizing they're 151 proof.)  On the taxi ride to the Stupor Dome, I'm hanging out the window cussing Michigan fans and anyone who will listen.  We get to the Dome.  Hand them our tickets, take 5 steps in and AAAAAAAHHHHHHH....the angels sang.  A kiosk serving bourbon.  At a football game???  Really???  And I'm reeeeaally drunk already???  Well holy hot damn, pour me one up. 

I remember warm ups.  I remember Al Del Greco's winning kick.  I remember leaving my seat to go piss after the 1st quarter.  I remember returning to my seat with 2:00 minutes to play.  I also remember making plans to move to Ann Arbor for some strange reason.  Plus, I recall my future wife not speaking to me.  I definitely remember the elation of knowing we had just won the MNC since we were #3 while #1 and #2 had lost in front of us.

I need counseling.   

I was there as well, but your story is much better.  First row of the upper deck right on the 50.  With my parents...I was only 13.

[wesfau2]

That's more than Wes remembers of the 2013 Iron Bowl, watching it in the same city.

I remember zealously suggesting that both Verne and Gary could munch a large bag of warm dicks.