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Best worst joke

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Kaos

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Best worst joke
« on: October 12, 2016, 02:59:35 PM »
Sitting at the dinner table with my side family and my 16 year old talking about some concerts we were looking at going to.  I'm telling the girls I will try to find tickets on stub hub or somewhere.

She looks up mid bite, deadpans "i always thought Stub Hub was a dating site for amputees" pops a bite of chicken in her mouth and returns to the meal.


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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2016, 03:03:26 PM »
You can meet Eileen, the one-legged woman who works at IHOP on that site.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2016, 03:28:48 PM »
Dang, those are funny.  I've been trying to think of an amputee joke but I'm stumped.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

CCTAU

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2016, 03:45:29 PM »
Quote from: Buzz Killington on October 12, 2016, 03:03:26 PM
You can meet Eileen, the one-legged woman who works at IHOP on that site.


She Asian oriental. It's pronounced Irene!
« Last Edit: October 13, 2016, 09:37:20 AM by CCTAU »
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2016, 05:04:44 PM »
Quote from: Buzz Killington on October 12, 2016, 03:03:26 PM
You can meet Eileen, the one-legged woman who works at IHOP on that site.
She hooked up with Bob, the quadruple amputee lifeguard.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Saniflush

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2016, 08:18:34 AM »
The Mexican woman with no legs is there as well.  She goes by mommy partswaylow.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

GH2001

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2016, 08:29:07 AM »
Quote from: CCTAU on October 12, 2016, 03:45:29 PM

She Asian. It's pronounced Irene!

Watch out. The sensitivity police on here will reprimand you for racism.
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WDE

Godfather

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2016, 10:06:21 AM »
Quote from: GH2001 on October 13, 2016, 08:29:07 AM
Watch out. The sensitivity police on here will reprimand you for racism.

Now he changed her to a rug, I find that more offensive.
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Gus is gone, hooray!
                       -Auburn Fans

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CCTAU

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2016, 10:13:33 AM »
Quote from: Godfather on October 13, 2016, 10:06:21 AM
Now he changed her to a rug, I find that more offensive.

A china doll, dammit!
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

GH2001

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2016, 10:44:30 AM »
Quote from: Godfather on October 13, 2016, 10:06:21 AM
Now he changed her to a rug, I find that more offensive.

Hey oriental rugs are great. But be careful not to get gyped on a fake one. It's rearry rearry easy to do.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2016, 10:47:32 AM »
Quote from: GH2001 on October 13, 2016, 10:44:30 AM
Hey oriental rugs are great. But be careful not to get gyped on a fake one. It's rearry rearry easy to do.

ror
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Best worst joke
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2016, 11:17:25 AM »
What do you call a dog with no legs?


Doesn't matter. He can't come anyway.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."
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