It's Not Going To Happen Parts 1 & 2

[The Six]

Both from AL.Com stories that I will not be linking to because they already have my clicks. No reason for you to give them yours.

First...

Auburn Moving to the SEC EAST?

SEC commissioner Greg Sankey said he has "read those stories" about Malzahn, in response to a hypothetical from ESPN's Chris Low, saying a "discussion" would happen about the Tigers switching divisions would occur at some point.

Asked if the idea were brought up over the course of this week's meetings what his response would be, Sankey channeled his predecessor, Mike Slive.

"I don't answer hypotheticals," Sankey said Tuesday night at the Hilton Sandestin hotel.

Last month, an SEC official told AL.com there had been "no discussion of divisional realignment" in response to Malzahn's comments to ESPN.

The SEC has set its conference schedule through 2025, making any change to divisions highly unlikely.

And then there's this...

Jay Jacobs: Gus Malzahn will be Auburn head coach for 'long, long time'

Coming off back-to-back seasons with declining results, Gus Malzahn faces a pivotal fourth season in his Auburn head coaching tenure this fall.

Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs is confident in Malzahn, who is 27-13 overall and 13-11 in the SEC over his three seasons as head coach, and believes he'll have better results this fall.

"He's our coach and he'll be our coach for a long, long time," Jacobs said during SEC Spring Meetings in Destin, Florida. "He's a brilliant offensive mind. Took us to two national championships; once as a coordinator, once as a head coach. There's a bunch of schools in this league that would love to be in our position with a guy like him.

"It's tough league, this league is tough every day. It doesn't matter what year it is, year in, year out, how many years you've been here, whatever it may be, but there's no doubt about that he is the right guy for Auburn."

[Snaggletiger]

Sounds like Jay is getting a bad case of Patdyeosis. 

[Kaos]

Sounds like Jay is getting a bad case of Patdyeosis.

He was already suffering from Dumbasarockitis, arrogancesia, early onset piousity, and goodolboyoriasis. 

If he were a dog he'd be put down out of mercy.

[Snaggletiger]

It's talk like that that makes you question the guy's sanity.  Don't get me wrong, overall I really like Malzahn and I hope he gets this thing turned around asap.  But the truth is, it's been going south for a year and a half and he needs to get it fixed, sharpish. 

I could fully understand Jacobs or any AD for that matter, saying something along the lines of, "We have every confidence in our guy."  Positive.  Not much to read into it. But open ended if the coach doesn't get it done.  But what he said sounds like he's tying his own cart to that horse (Or whatever the saying is) and his own job depends on Malzahn's success or failure.

But is that the case?  Would Jacobs really be in any trouble? Do we have a BOT anymore that has a set?  My understanding is that we don't.  To be clear, I don't care for that smug prick.  But I'm not going to be a hippo-krit and act like there haven't been some pretty damn awesome stuff that's happened under his watch.  Did he have his hand in all of it?  Probably not.  But just like a head coach, you can get too much credit or too much blame. 

We've been to 2 MNC games and won our first in half a century.  Had a Heisman Trophy winner. Hired what I believe is the best round ball corch we can get in Pearl.  Built a badass new arena for those round ball players.  Built the Tansformers Megatron 6,000 Scoreboard (Which I still hate).  Currently making renovations to JHS. I believe we upgraded the girl's softball complex. Added what may be the best softball coach in the country.  Added an indoor practice facility for the foosballz players...

Those are just a few off the top of my head.  Yes, there have been some bone headed moves as well.  Easy to name.  It really sounds more like to me that Jacobs knows he has a blank check with the BOT and can do whatever he wants.  Thoughts?

[Saniflush]

I believe we upgraded the girl's softball complex. Added what may be the best softball coach in the country.  Fucked up the tailgaiting at Wire and Samford.

Fixt

[Snaggletiger]

Fixt

To be fair, he had heard that Dallas had started coming to that tailgate.  He said, "Damn, I hate that guy".

[Buzz Killington]

To be fair, he had heard that Dallas had started coming to that tailgate.  He said, "Damn, I hate that guy".

He really is a visionary.  Plus, now we gots all dem satellite dishes.

[dallaswareagle]

To be fair, he had heard that Dallas had started coming to that tailgate.  He said, "Damn, I hate that guy".

But, I brought the Mrs? I know Buzz was happy.

and

I'd throw Jay J. in with the Ape's, but they would just throw him back.

[Godfather]

He really is a visionary.  Plus, now we gots all dem satellite dishes.

I still haves de brain pains.

[Snaggletiger]

I still haves de brain pains.

My dick was glowing most of last season.

[AUChizad]

If/When Mazlahn tanks this year, that Jacobs quote is going to get WIDE circulation.

It's going to be mocked for one of two reasons:
1) Once Malzahn loses games he shouldn't and/or finishes the season 6-6 or worse, the media will LOL at Auburn for being "too loyal".

2) Once we do axe him as soon as the disaster season ends, the media will LOL at Jacobs for being a liar.

Why set yourself up for that?

[dallaswareagle]

If/When Mazlahn tanks this year, that Jacobs quote is going to get WIDE circulation.

It's going to be mocked for one of two reasons:
1) Once Malzahn loses games he shouldn't and/or finishes the season 6-6 or worse, the media will LOL at Auburn for being "too loyal".

2) Once we do axe him as soon as the disaster season ends, the media will LOL at Jacobs for being a liar.

Why set yourself up for that?

Just do what everybody else does, claim someone hacked you.

[Godfather]

If/When Mazlahn tanks this year, that Jacobs quote is going to get WIDE circulation.

It's going to be mocked for one of two reasons:
1) Once Malzahn loses games he shouldn't and/or finishes the season 6-6 or worse, the media will LOL at Auburn for being "too loyal".

2) Once we do axe him as soon as the disaster season ends, the media will LOL at Jacobs for being a liar.

Why set yourself up for that?

Honestly, I think the buyout is still too big even if we went 6-6.  Only way I see Malzahn losing his job this year if we were to go 3-9 or worse. 

[wesfau2]

if we were to go 3-9 or worse.

It's Not Going To Happen Parts 1 & 2 & 99 & 10,000,000

[The Six]

It's Not Going To Happen Parts 1 & 2 & 99 & 10,000,000

Which is the one where we go to space? Part 7? Or Part 689?

[dallaswareagle]

Which is the one where we go to space? Part 7? Or Part 689?

I think part 8 is where we fight Rocky. 

[Buzz Killington]

Fighting Rocky on Mars - #396

[Godfather]

It's Not Going To Happen Parts 1 & 2 & 99 & 10,000,000

It can always happen, especially with injuries. That however would be another situation, that would not be Gus's fault.

BTW I don't think it is going to happen, however we very well could go 6-6 (again I don't think we will) just saying I don't think Gus gets fired this year.  Thereby making Jacobs quote moot, because by the end of 2017 if he were to be fired who the fuck cares what dum-dum says, hopefully he is out the door as well.

[Buzz Killington]

It can always happen, especially with injuries. That however would be another situation, that would not be Gus's fault.

BTW I don't think it is going to happen, however we very well could go 6-6 (again I don't think we will) just saying I don't think Gus gets fired this year.  Thereby making Jacobs quote moot, because by the end of 2017 if he were to be fired who the fudge cares what dum-dum says, hopefully he is out the door as well.

I promise you the al.kummz will hold onto that quote as long as necessary.

[Godfather]

I promise you the al.kummz will hold onto that quote as long as necessary.

but who cares? He wouldn't be the first AD to say something like that. Like I said if Gus doesn't pan out, hopefully dum-dum is out with him.