Wherefore art thou, Julio?

[Tiger Wench]

From deepsouthsports.com.  I agree - there MUST have been some kind of mistake.  Fucking hysterical... 

http://deepsouthsports.blogspot.com/2008/09/where-for-art-thou-julio.html

Tuesday, September 2
Wherefore Art Thou, Julio?

Surely there's been a mother effing mistake. From SECSports.com...

SEC FRESHMAN OF THE WEEK

BRANDON BOLDEN
Running Back
OLE MISS
5-11 • 215
Baton Rouge, La. (Scotlandville Magnet)


Bolden led Ole Miss with 76 yards rushing on eight carries in the Rebels’ 41-24 win against Memphis.

He added a 10-yard touchdown run in the fourth quarter giving the Rebels a 41-17 lead.

Bolden also threw a 37-yard halfback pass to quarterback Jevan Snead that helped set up a Rebel field goal in the second quarter.

WTFYMFAF!!?! Wait...Is "Brandon Bolden" some pseudo name for The Julio? Cause the only "Brandon Bolden" I know of was some non-dreamy three-star "athlete." What could he possibly know about outstandingness?

What is this Brandon's vertical? Where are his erotic preseason photographs? Has Brandon ever testified at a murder trial? Has Mr. Bolden ever even been accused of owning an Escalade, much less driven one? I think Not. Fact is, nobody touches themselves when they think of "Brandon Bolden." He doesn't even have a gosh damn face, while Julio is the face of all things classy and traditional.

These types of things need be taken into consideration for some stupid award such as "SEC Freshman of the Week."

Julio Jones: The People's Freshman of the Week

[Snaggletiger]

Now THAT'S some funny shit right there. :thumbsup:

[Ranger12]

I heard that NOAA has recruited Juio to stop all the hurricanes from hitting the coast. He is currently on a boat off the east coast of Florida getting ready to take on Hannah, then he will turn his attention to Ike and Josephine.

[Tiger Wench]

I heard that NOAA has recruited Juio to stop all the hurricanes from hitting the coast. He is currently on a boat off the east coast of Florida getting ready to take on Hannah, then he will turn his attention to Ike and Josephine.

I also heard he and Tebow were gonna go on a mission to circumcise all the pygmies in New Guinea in just three days - Julio will paralyze them using only his magnificence, and then Tebow will swoop in with the scalpel.

[Snaggletiger]

But first, The Julio made a stop over in Afghanistan to quickly subdue Bin Laden, kill his women and rape his horses.

Then he winked at Randall and Adam on his way back, beating Hannah and Ike to the East coast.

[Ranger12]

I bet Adam winked back.

[chinook]

I bet Adam winked back.

that big brown eye.

[War Eagle!!!]

The Obama begged The Julio to not run for Presidency...

[Ranger12]

I was half expecting Sarah Palin to thank Julio during her speech tonight and maybe even announce him as the co-VP selection.

[Snaggletiger]

The Julio wrote her speech.

[BLS]

Wow, the ''peoples national championshi........ I mean freshman of the week.  What will they think of next.

[War Eagle!!!]

Wow, the ''peoples national championshi........ I mean freshman of the week.  What will they think of next.

What the fuck are you talking about? And why do you have only one quotation mark?

[Snaggletiger]

What they will think of next is sending Brandon Bolden a plaque with his name engraved on it.

[Townhallsavoy]

Wait a fucking second...

Why did Enrique Davis change his name to Brandon Bolden???