He's trying too hard to sound smart.
I could help him make all those words less painful to read. But as they are? Yeeegads!
The constant shifting tense is enough to make my teeth ache.
I like Rob, but that's some really shitty writing. It's borderline unreadable. If I were grading it, he'd get a D-
Example:
Seniors that have imparted their own expectations of success to emerging underclassmen, that have lead by example and prove their point by playing with passion.
Okay, Rob, you used some big words there. Imparted, expectations, emerging and passion are all really powerful words. But what in the shrieking tangerine fuck does that sentence even mean? Is it a sentence? I don't think it is.
"have lead" WHAT?
Have lead .... and prove...? Does that match?
It's a pretty string of words but it doesn't say a single damn thing.
Jesus. This is terrible. Get it off the screen!