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Best Article I've Read So Far

Snaggletiger

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Best Article I've Read So Far
« on: August 27, 2014, 05:40:15 PM »
Joel Erikson at al. I am a gay twerker that has no balls!!!!  I also have no idea how to use the quote function to post stories, so I annoy the piss out of others.  I like male genatalia in and around my mouth..  I know I'm in the minority but the more I hear the talking heads and "experts" and fans on message boards talk about this game, the more worried I get.  My hope is that our corches and players aren't buying into the hype.  We're a double digit favorite and people are talking about getting our 3rd string QB reps in the 3rd quarter.  Holy shit, has everyone forgotten that our defense absolutely sucked last year?  They're all back this year...minus Carl Lawson...minus Robinson Thereize....minus Jonathon Mincy...minus Jake from State Farm.  Our entire kicking game is gone (Lord help us when we have to punt) and our Heisman candidate QB ain't starting.  This is not chicken little sky is falling crap.  Just fact that we're not exactly some juggernaut that's going to slap Arky around like little bitches.  This piece reminds me of what could have been last year and more importantly, that the team ain't buying the hype.

Oh....and Jeff said "nut-cutters"


On paper, the season-opening matchup between Auburn and Arkansas seems like a no-brainer.

One team won the SEC title last season. The other did not win an SEC game. With so many key contributors back, Auburn has been installed as a three-touchdown favorite in Saturday's season-opener.

Not that the Tigers are buying any of that. Auburn has spent the week talking about how dangerous the Razorbacks can be.

"Right off the bat, it's SEC play, so it's a good test," Tigers defensive tackle Jeff Whitaker said. "With the rivalry of us and Arkansas anyway, it's always been nut-cutters -- a few plays here and there determine the whole game."

Auburn's coaching staff has seized on that idea this week.

In his Tiger Talk appearance on Monday night, Auburn coach Gus Malzahn pointed out that his defense had to make two red-zone stops in the first half to create some separation heading into the locker room last season.

Tigers offensive coordinator Rhett Lashlee made it a point to mention that if Auburn quarterback Nick Marshall hadn't gotten his own fumble back in the fourth quarter, the Razorbacks could have cut an 11-point Tigers lead to one score in Fayetteville last season.

And defensive coordinator Ellis Johnson had a whole list of things he wanted his unit to do better.

"We got misaligned and misadjusted, and missed some tackles. ... we were terrible on third down," Johnson said. "We kept a lot of points off the board, but I thought we played real spotty."

Arkansas brings back a healthy Brandon Allen at quarterback -- he played hurt most of last season, a lost season that saw him finish dead-last in the SEC in completion percentage at 49.6 percent -- but the Tigers' real concern is a backfield that includes three talented backs in Jonathan Williams, Alex Collins and Korliss Marshall.

On defense, senior end Trey Flowers, a Huntsville native who blew through the Tigers' offensive line for three sacks in 2012, has drawn plenty of praise from Auburn.

Even Bret Bielema, the Razorbacks' lightning rod of a head coach -- and a perceived rival of Malzahn -- has been praised roundly by his Auburn counterpart throughout the week.

"He's a very good coach," Malzahn said. "Look at his track record."

And then there's Arkansas' recent run of success in Jordan-Hare Stadium, a point Lashlee brought up unprompted on Sunday night.

Arkansas has won four of its last six trips to the Plains.

Malzahn acknowledged on the SEC teleconference that the 2014 team is very different than the squad that lost at home in 2012, but the message remains the same from Auburn as the season opener approaches.

Auburn isn't taking the Razorbacks lightly.

"We're playing an Arkansas team we believe is going to be much improved, especially in the second year with their head coach," Malzahn said. "We had a good game versus them last year that was probably a little closer than the score, and our guys know we'll have to play well to be successful."
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

chinook

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2014, 07:11:56 PM »
A snippet from the article didn't go unnoticed..."nut-cutters".  Multiple context in there. 
« Last Edit: August 27, 2014, 07:13:39 PM by chinook »
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jmar

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2014, 07:20:42 PM »
I know it's easy to call him a fat bastard and wave a shaker but this isn't a team Auburn will walk over easily in fact the smart bet would be Arkansas and the points. They are built to grind and if we get by them you will be pulling for fat bastard against common foes along the way to help us get where we all think we should be which is the SECCG. Here's hoping for a much improved defense to get us there. 

:cheers:
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Godfather

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2014, 09:20:14 PM »
AU - 38
Ermegard Hogs - 17
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djsimp

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2014, 09:36:02 PM »
AU - 38
Ermegard Hogs - 17

I dont think the Hogs get 17.....seriously. I honestly believe the AU D is going to show out this Saturday. I will give the Hogs 10 at best.
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GH2001

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2014, 12:57:13 PM »
I dont think the Hogs get 17.....seriously. I honestly believe the AU D is going to show out this Saturday. I will give the Hogs 10 at best.

Not fond of those bastards, but 10? Their RBs and TE are too good. I hope you are right though. But I must say that bong has some good shit in it this week. I like your confidence son.
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WDE

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2014, 01:15:54 PM »
Remember, the white dude in the middle of our D graduated. This is worth 10 pts.
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Saniflush

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2014, 01:22:31 PM »
Remember, the white dude in the middle of our D graduated. This is worth 10 pts.

hideous!

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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2014, 02:32:38 PM »
Well she's a guy so...
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

jmar

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Re: Best Article I've Read So Far
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2014, 05:54:24 PM »
Remember, the white dude in the middle of our D graduated. This is worth 10 pts.
Jesus, I'm not convinced Johnson wouldn't have him out there again if not for eligibility.
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