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Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind

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Tiger Wench

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Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« on: April 16, 2014, 11:53:40 AM »
OR.. on the Alamo.

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SAN ANTONIO -- A judge has ordered a 23-year-old El Paso man to spend 18 months in a state jail facility for urinating on the Alamo.
     
 State District Judge Ray Olivarri sentenced Daniel Athens on Monday in San Antonio.
     
 Athens had pleaded guilty to felony criminal mischief in February in exchange for a deal that capped his possible punishment at 18 months. The crime usually is punishable by up to two years of incarceration.
     
 The San Antonio Express-News reports that Athens was also ordered to pay $4,000 in restitution - the cost of repairing the damage done to the facade of the 250-year-old building.
     
 Athens was arrested in April 2012 after he was found urinating on a front wall of the shrine.

That is EXACTLY how folks in Texas see it too.  A holy shrine.  Deface or demean at your own peril, y'all.  Ask Ozzy.
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Saniflush

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2014, 12:40:12 PM »
Well to be clear, Ozzy just got banned until he apologized.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2014, 01:59:02 PM by Saniflush »
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2014, 01:28:04 PM »
Aren't we gonna see the basement?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Tiger Wench

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2014, 01:48:41 PM »
Quote from: Buzz Killington on April 16, 2014, 01:28:04 PM
Aren't we gonna see the basement?

I heard you could find a red bicycle there.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2014, 01:58:32 PM »
Quote from: Tiger Wench on April 16, 2014, 01:48:41 PM
I heard you could find a red bicycle there.

Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Montezuma58

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2014, 02:20:14 PM »
$4k worth of damage!?  Did he use his dick or a fire hose?
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Saniflush

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2014, 02:21:33 PM »
Quote from: Montezuma58 on April 16, 2014, 02:20:14 PM
$4k worth of damage!?  Did he use his dick or a fire hose?

Maybe it burns when he pisses.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

dallaswareagle

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2014, 04:02:07 PM »
Quote from: Montezuma58 on April 16, 2014, 02:20:14 PM
$4k worth of damage!?  Did he use his dick or a fire hose?


He's a Texan, they're one in the same, :facepalm:
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

wesfau2

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #8 on: April 16, 2014, 04:55:54 PM »
Quote from: Saniflush on April 16, 2014, 02:21:33 PM
Maybe it burns when he pisses.

No, doc, I mean when I go to take a piss fire shoots out my dick.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Montezuma58

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #9 on: April 16, 2014, 06:30:10 PM »
Portland has some water they aren't going to use.  Maybe they should send it to texas to wash down the Alamo. 
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/04/16/portland-reservoir-flush-planned-after-teen-cited-for-urination/?intcmp=latestnews

Quote
PORTLAND, Ore. –  Once again, Portland officials are preparing to flush millions of gallons of treated water because a young person urinated into a city reservoir.

Water Bureau Administrator David Shaff said 38 million gallons will be discarded because a 19-year-old was caught in the act on Wednesday.
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Saniflush

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Re: Don't squat with your spurs on, and don't piss in the wind
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2014, 06:26:53 AM »
I'm a little confused as to how these people think water gets clean?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."
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