Since The Walking Dead has fallen so far off the rails with its silly dramatics, the farm stay, the prison stay and Darryl mooning over a teenager and so forth imagine there is actually an apocalyptic zombie event.
Where do you go? What do you do?
My answers are pretty simple and while they wouldn't make for great television, they'd keep me alive and kicking as long as I wanted.
1) I'm going to a national guard armory or military base to get me an armored personnel carrier and ammo. The only time I come down out of there is to ransack for food, water or gas. And clothes. I'm knocking over a department store and getting me a nice stash of Underarmour heat gear and some shoes.
2) Also chainmail. Find a freak store and buy chainmail. It exists. Chainmail layered with body armor and that's how I ransack. Bite me now, bitch.
3) Map. I get a map. And I look for an island with one way in, one way out. Ono Island near Gulf Shores would be perfect. Plenty of fishing, plenty of boats to go fishing, easy to blockade, enough arable land to grow vegetables and plenty of nice houses -- many with generators. Find one that's hooked to natural gas because as I understand it, that's not going to be cut off and will still work. So I'm set with fish, veggies, safety and comfort. Get me some DVDs to watch while the generator is on and I'm good.
4) About once a month get out the carrier, cruise around looking for gas tanks to siphon and non-zombie chicks who may have survived and would enjoy my comforts.
And that's it. No prisons, no walking down train tracks or biting rattlesnakes. No kids getting shot while deer hunting. No one-eyed governor.
I might have to take Ono by force, but that would be the only thing I'd worry about.