More Black/White Differences

Snaggletiger · « **on:** August 22, 2013, 12:38:25 PM »

I kracked up

WiregrassTiger · « **Reply #1 on:** August 22, 2013, 12:51:05 PM »

Yeah, well if you had to sit through 4 hours of this every Sunday, you prob wouldn't think it's so funny.

AUTailgatingRules · « **Reply #2 on:** August 22, 2013, 12:57:47 PM »

Quote from: WiregrassTiger on August 22, 2013, 12:51:05 PM

Yeah, well if you had to sit through 4 hours of this every Sunday, you prob wouldn't think it's so funny.

I know plenty of "white" churches you could attend that all get out at 12:00pm sharp. Just don't go to a Baptist one, they run long on a regular basis.

GH2001 · « **Reply #3 on:** August 22, 2013, 01:14:43 PM »

Quote from: AUTailgatingRules on August 22, 2013, 12:57:47 PM

I know plenty of "white" churches you could attend that all get out at 12:00pm sharp. Just don't go to a Baptist one, they run long on a regular basis.

They have more bullshit to spew.

AU_Tiger_2000 · « **Reply #4 on:** August 22, 2013, 01:33:16 PM »

Quote from: GH2001 on August 22, 2013, 01:14:43 PM

They have more bullshoot to spew.

Of course the Methodists get out early. How long does it really take to pat someone on the head and say, "I'm OK, you're OK"?

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #5 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:00:11 PM »

Went to a black funeral and it had to go 2 hours. People would take turns having heart attacks and falling out in the floor. 4 people would carry them out fanning them....which apparently delivered them back from the dead...so they could fall out again later. The preacher was delivering a fire and brimstone sermon where at the end of every sentence he would growl a long "Aaahhh"

And the Lord saidAAAHH....if we walk in the wayAAAAHHH....and clothe ourselves in righteousnessAAAHHH....

The lady who died was 97 years old. It really couldn't have been that big a deal.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #6 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:02:56 PM »

Quote from: AUTailgatingRules on August 22, 2013, 12:57:47 PM

I know plenty of "white" churches you could attend that all get out at 12:00pm sharp. Just don't go to a Baptist one, they run long on a regular basis.

Bullshit. Baptists are the leaders in key jingling at two minutes to noon.

Vandy Vol · « **Reply #7 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:03:13 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on August 22, 2013, 02:00:11 PM

The lady who died was 97 years old. It really couldn't have been that big a deal.

Was she one of your numerous maids?

Token · « **Reply #8 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:05:27 PM »

That guy is going to be at the comedy club in Bham first weekend in October.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #9 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:08:10 PM »

Quote from: Vandy Vol on August 22, 2013, 02:03:13 PM

Was she one of your numerous maids?

Sort of. She used to detail my fleet of Mercedes every week. Worked right up til she was 92. Fine old gal but I had to fire her when I started finding snuff in the floorboards.

AU_Tiger_2000 · « **Reply #10 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:27:45 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on August 22, 2013, 02:02:56 PM

Bullshoot. Baptists are the leaders in key jingling at two minutes to noon.

There's two kinds of Baptist churches, one has a clock on the wall behind the congregation to remind the pastor that we want to get out for lunch, the other has the clock on the wall behind the pastor. This lets him know that he can preach as long as he wants, but we're all leaving at 12:00.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #11 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:43:02 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on August 22, 2013, 02:02:56 PM

Bullshit. Baptists are the leaders in key jingling at two minutes to noon.

This^^^

Now that we have bigger Churches with 3 services, the keys are jingling at 10:40 though...

Saniflush · « **Reply #12 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:43:52 PM »

Quote from: Vandy Vol on August 22, 2013, 02:03:13 PM

Was she one of your numerous maids?

Wet nurse. Which helps explain his early fascination with National Geographic.

GH2001 · « **Reply #13 on:** August 22, 2013, 03:45:24 PM »

Quote from: AU_Tiger_2000 on August 22, 2013, 01:33:16 PM

Of course the Methodists get out early. How long does it really take to pat someone on the head and say, "I'm OK, you're OK"?

Lighter breakfast and less gossip. It's simple math. Methodical even.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #14 on:** August 22, 2013, 03:48:34 PM »

Quote from: GH2001 on August 22, 2013, 03:45:24 PM

Lighter breakfast and less gossip and wine with lunch and dinner. It's simple math. Methodical even.

FIXT.

GH2001 · « **Reply #15 on:** August 22, 2013, 03:55:26 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on August 22, 2013, 03:48:34 PM

FIXT.

Beer. The Catholics can have the wine.

Kaos · « **Reply #16 on:** August 22, 2013, 04:04:27 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on August 22, 2013, 02:00:11 PM

Went to a black funeral and it had to go 2 hours. People would take turns having heart attacks and falling out in the floor. 4 people would carry them out fanning them....which apparently delivered them back from the dead...so they could fall out again later. The preacher was delivering a fire and brimstone sermon where at the end of every sentence he would growl a long "Aaahhh"

And the Lord saidAAAHH....if we walk in the wayAAAAHHH....and clothe ourselves in righteousnessAAAHHH....

The lady who died was 97 years old. It really couldn't have been that big a deal.

I know a lady who was a professional wailer. Worked for the funeral home and attended all funerals. If it wasn't sufficiently emotional her job was to crank things up. Bellowing "oh sweet Jesus" or falling to the floor. Whatever.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #17 on:** August 22, 2013, 04:07:59 PM »

Nobody can catch the Holy Spirit 4 times in one day. She's faking.

Hogwally · « **Reply #18 on:** August 22, 2013, 06:24:53 PM »

I thought Methodists were just Baptists who could read?

GH2001 · « **Reply #19 on:** August 22, 2013, 06:59:43 PM »

Quote from: Hogwally on August 22, 2013, 06:24:53 PM

I thought Methodists were just Baptists who could read?

No no. Methodists speak to you at the liquor store.