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What's your morning routine?

What's your morning routine?
« on: August 09, 2013, 05:16:10 PM »
I realized the other day that I do the same thing every morning and have for at least six years now.

I wake up. 

I stumble downstairs and put on a pot of coffee. 

I then get the dog and take her out to pee and then feed her. 

Then I pour about two tablespoons worth of coffee and drink it. 

Then I take a shit.*

Then I take the dog to shit.

Then I pour a full cup of coffee and sip it until it's gone or cold.

Then I cook breakfast - eggs or oatmeal - and eat it.

Then I watch a little TV.

Then I maybe shower. 

*If the morning shit does not happen, I don't do anything else that day.  In fact, I took two days off of work this past school year because the morning shit didn't happen.  Called in sick. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Token

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2013, 05:25:30 PM »
I have two morning routines.

Summer routine.

Hit snooze 4 times, finally wake up.
Iron clothes.
Take a shower.
Cook 2 pieces of sausage and 2 fried eggs, then eat.
Wash dishes that I cooked with.
Brush teeth.
Put on clothes that I ironed.
Get to work with 1 minute to spare, and tell my supervisor that I'll be a little earlier on the next day, mostly because it pisses him off and he's not allowed to do anything about it.

School mornings.

Wake up.
Wake up my 2 kids.
Chaos ensues.
Get to work 25 minutes early and bitch about whatever dumb shit I had to deal with that morning because of my kids.
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AUTiger1

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2013, 05:34:59 PM »
Same as Token, I have two routines.

Summer
Hit the snooze a couple of times.
Stagger to the sink and brush teeth.
Stagger into shower.
Get dressed.
Get a bottled water, some kind of fruit and stagger out the door.
Continue to stay pissed at the world until I get to work and get a cup of coffee. Usually 5 minutes late.  Fuck you construction!

School
Fly straight up in the air as my son yells "bye daddy, I love you" as he, the wife and youngest head out the door.
Do the same routine as above except get there about 10 minutes early and pissed off.  Fuck you school traffic!
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Snaggletiger

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2013, 05:37:36 PM »
Most mornings.

5:30: Up and headed to the gym.  Take my clothes etc. there so I can shave/shower
7:15: Atlanta Bread Company for coffee and one of 3-4 different things for breakfast.  Newspaper and talk amongst the regulars.  We all sit in assigned seats like church pews.  We then solve all the world's problems.
8:00: To work where I live the glamorous life of a high powered, highly compensated Dothan attorney.  That "life" consists of sitting at my desk, phone in one ear, hands on the keyboard working on files and bullshitting on the X.  Yep, it's all $$$, leather-bound books, rich mahogany furniture, bourbon and Chinese take out.  Just like the real lawyers on TV. 
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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2013, 05:45:05 PM »
8:00: To work where I live the glamorous life of a high powered, highly compensated Dothan attorney.  That "life" consists of sitting at my desk, phone in one ear, hands on the keyboard working on files and bullshitting on the X.  Yep, it's all $$$, leather-bound books, rich mahogany furniture, bourbon and Chinese take out.  Just like the real lawyers on TV.

A friend of mine is a plaintiff attorney and told me that his job is tedious and boring, but he brings home about $8k a month and reads football websites for half of the day. 

Made me want to go to law school.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2013, 05:48:05 PM »
A friend of mine is a plaintiff attorney and told me that his job is tedious and boring, but he brings home about $8k a month and reads football websites for half of the day. 

Made me want to go to law school.

Ed Zachary....except for the $8K/mo. 


I ain't working for peanuts like that, ya' know.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AWK

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2013, 06:15:15 PM »
Party balls deep.
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Saniflush

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2013, 06:42:17 AM »
Wake up at 5:30
Shave and shower
At the shop by 6:00
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2013, 09:19:04 AM »
Tumble outta bed
And stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
Yawnin, stretchin, try to come to life
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin
Out on the streets
The traffic starts jumpin
And folks like me on the job from 9 to 5

And then I stare at my gigantic breasts.
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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2013, 09:22:51 AM »
I miss watching  :bugs: in the morning.

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Ogre

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2013, 01:06:09 PM »
Wake up at 5:00 am.

I turn on the shower, go take a leak, come back and get in the shower.

I get out, shave and brush my teeth.  It's now 5:20.

I grab my clothes for the day and walk to the kitchen.

I feed and water the dogs.

I make a pot of coffee using 3 tablespoons of Folgers.

While the coffee is brewing I pour a bowl of Special K Red Berries (don't judge me).

I go back and pour a travel mug of coffee.

I sit at my kitchen table and eat my cereal and read my Bible.  It's now 5:35.

I get done around 6:00, and I break out the iron and iron my clothes. 

The kids wake up and I get them fed/clothed.

I leave the house at 7:05 and take the kids to school, then head to work.

As I read this, I realize the 24 year old me would kick the 33 year old me's ass.

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2013, 01:18:16 PM »


 the 24 year old me would kick the 33 year old me's ass.

Just burn his forehead with your James Avery cross.

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2013, 01:24:53 PM »
Oddly enough I don't have one. 

Every day is different even as to the time I wake up.  Sometimes it's 4 a.m.  Sometimes, like today, it's 7:30.  Some days I don't bother until it's too late to get a biscuit at Chick Fil A. 
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Godfather

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #13 on: August 12, 2013, 01:29:34 PM »
Tumble outta bed
And stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
Yawnin, stretchin, try to come to life
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin
Out on the streets
The traffic starts jumpin
And folks like me on the job from 9 to 5

And then I stare at my gigantic breasts.

I chortled...well played sir.
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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #14 on: August 12, 2013, 01:30:09 PM »
Just burn his forehead with your James Avery cross.
For the win!!!

I think I might just close down the interwebs...fuck...
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Saniflush

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #15 on: August 12, 2013, 01:36:15 PM »
Wake up at 5:00 am.

I turn on the shower, go take a leak, come back and get in the shower.

I get out, shave and brush my teeth.  It's now 5:20.

I grab my clothes for the day and walk to the kitchen.

I feed and water the dogs.

I make a pot of coffee using 3 tablespoons of Folgers.

While the coffee is brewing I pour a bowl of Special K Red Berries (don't judge me).

I go back and pour a travel mug of coffee.

I sit at my kitchen table and eat my cereal and read my Bible.  It's now 5:35.

I get done around 6:00, and I break out the iron and iron my clothes. 

The kids wake up and I get them fed/clothed.

I leave the house at 7:05 and take the kids to school, then head to work.

As I read this, I realize the 24 year old me would kick the 33 year old me's ass.

Dude, you know you have a wife right?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #16 on: August 12, 2013, 01:37:51 PM »
Dude, you know you have a wife right?

Did you notice there was never any mention of a mirror, because he doesn't want to steal his own soul.
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Saniflush

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #17 on: August 12, 2013, 02:09:25 PM »
Did you notice there was never any mention of a mirror, because he doesn't want to steal his own soul.

I wasn't sure if he would be able to see his own reflection or not.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

dallaswareagle

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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #18 on: August 12, 2013, 02:34:44 PM »
Roll out of the sack every mornin', head on down to the mill
 Give 'em all I got for eight, 'cause that's the deal.
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Re: What's your morning routine?
« Reply #19 on: August 12, 2013, 02:36:30 PM »
No matter what time I get up, I always go piss then brush my teeth.  I can't stand having morning breath.
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