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People looking for work

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dallaswareagle

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People looking for work
« on: May 20, 2013, 01:52:02 PM »
We are hiring and looking for new people and this is some of the crap I get on resumes.

sanjac security, Texas
security guard
Apr 26, 2002 - Nov 27, 2002 watch the building and make shore ever thing is locked up .

Help build decks and car covers for custermer.Built any thing the custermer wanted.

Duties included performing oil changes, assisting mechanics as well as assisting in the shop clean up and maintenance. and to make the custormors happy.

splashtown, Texas
lifeguard
May 10, 1979 - Aug 29, 1997 watch the water and life guard . save some one if they are drowning

 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
« Last Edit: May 20, 2013, 02:03:02 PM by dallaswareagle »
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Snaggletiger

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2013, 01:57:41 PM »
Do you have any idea of the amount of intense training that's involved before someone is given the responsibility of watching the water?  You don't just take any yahoo off the street and give him a lifeguard tower.  If that lifeguard is not 100% focused at all times, some of the custermers could drowned.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

dallaswareagle

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2013, 01:58:54 PM »
And this is a reference someone gave:

Susan Wilson
mom
johnson unit prison
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

WiregrassTiger

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2013, 02:02:53 PM »
I don't get it. It seems like you would want someone who wants to make shore everything is locked up and tries to keep the custermers happy. Maybe you are just too choozy. You are in Texas, you know.
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Like my posts on www.tigersx.com

War Eagle!!!

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2013, 02:06:45 PM »
Dude was a life guard for 18 years??

Damn...
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Saniflush

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2013, 02:12:35 PM »
Quote from: War Eagle!!! on May 20, 2013, 02:06:45 PM
Dude was a life guard for 18 years??

Damn...

high school chicks.  He get's older they stay the same age.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

bottomfeeder

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2013, 02:46:54 PM »
Quote from: Saniflush on May 20, 2013, 02:12:35 PM
high school chicks.  He get's older they stay the same age.
+10,000

I thought those were resumes for HS teaching positions.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2013, 03:04:21 PM »
Quote from: War Eagle!!! on May 20, 2013, 02:06:45 PM
Dude was a life guard for 18 years??

Damn...

He said he watched the water and the life guard-I took it to mean that he was the "life guard guard"?
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

bottomfeeder

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2013, 07:09:42 PM »
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Buzz Killington

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2013, 07:37:40 PM »
Quote from: dallaswareagle on May 20, 2013, 01:58:54 PM
And this is a reference someone gave:

Susan Wilson
mom
johnson unit prison

Jest cause momma's in prison don't mean she ain't a good character reference.  That bastard cheated on her!
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Pell City Tiger

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2013, 08:12:20 PM »
Quote from: Buzz Killington on May 20, 2013, 07:37:40 PM
Jest cause momma's in prison don't mean she ain't a good character reference.  That bastard cheated on her!
That's got the makings of a country song.

A world of advice though; don't hire this motherfucker. He'll get drunk the day she gets out of prison, go to get her in his pickup truck during a rainstorm, then the bitch gets run over by a damned ol' train.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

CCTAU

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Re: People looking for work
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2013, 11:18:36 PM »
Quote from: Pell City Tiger on May 20, 2013, 08:12:20 PM
That's got the makings of a country song.

A world of advice though; don't hire this motherfucker. He'll get drunk the day she gets out of prison, go to get her in his pickup truck during a rainstorm, then the bitch gets run over by a damned ol' train.
Aw hell. You guys got it all backards. Mommas in the graveyard.
Poppas in the pen!
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.
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  1. Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
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