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Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...

Saniflush

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #20 on: July 17, 2008, 02:32:33 PM »
I went to the Gardendale Wal-Mart for grocery's last night. In my cart was a 6 pack of beer, as I'm checking out I notice the cashier's not 21 which means she cant sell me the beer, she must have a CSM scan it which takes about 3 minutes, I told her not to worry about the beer and that I would just pay and leave. Until this asshole one back decided to jump in, Whats the problem, I'm tired of waiting, Beer, he can go buy that somewhere else. I told this 50+ year old fuck that he could wait to buy his Depends until I was fucking done, I let him know that since he was such as asshole we would wait as long as I wanted! I asked if he would like me to kick his fucking ass all over Wal-mart and he shut the fuck up at that point. I must have fuck with me written on my forehead!

Good story.  The Wal Marks is always good for a laugh.

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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #21 on: July 17, 2008, 02:42:56 PM »
All assholes need to be put in their place. You're doing God's work, Jason  :thumbsup:
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Jumbo

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #22 on: July 18, 2008, 02:04:55 AM »
I always try to be nice in every situation, but a prick being rude I just cant take. I just wanted my beer and ncaa 09 is that too much to ask?
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AWK

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #23 on: July 18, 2008, 09:52:26 AM »
I always try to be nice in every situation, but a prick being rude I just cant take. I just wanted my beer and ncaa 09 is that too much to ask?
Completely unrelated, I saw The Dark Knight last night and it was fucking awesome.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #24 on: July 18, 2008, 09:57:36 AM »
I always try to be nice in every situation, but a prick being rude I just cant take. I just wanted my beer and ncaa 09 is that too much to ask?
I'll be willing to bet that guy was a bammer too.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Jumbo

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #25 on: July 18, 2008, 12:23:05 PM »
I'll be willing to bet that guy was a bammer too.
He did have a the sleave's cut out of his stained shirt.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #26 on: July 18, 2008, 12:51:54 PM »
Story from my H.S. days at Jeff Davis.  I was like everyone else, partied and got in a few fist fights here and there.  There's always a hang out and ours at that time was a convenience store parking lot.  Always 10-12 cars with stereos blasting, beer drinking...the usual.  One night, these 4 guys from Lee High School (Wooo, our big rival) pulled up and started talking shit to some guys from our school.  Apparently. there was some history between em'.  Anyway, the shit talk escalates and they agree to meet in a parking lot up the road.  Of course, word gets around quick and there's a parade of cars headed up to see the main event.

The two car loads meet as planned but they didn't just get out of the cars ready to start swinging.  They got out with chains, knives, a long fuckin' walkin' tall stick and other shit.  I was standing there thinking, "What the fuck?  They're not really gonna'..."

Oh yes they were...and they did.  Within about 60 seconds, there were guys knocked the fuck out, sliced up, being choked out with a chain.  I saw one guy get hit in the face full swing with that stick and he dropped like a rock.  I thought he was dead.  All of us spectators jumped back in our cars and got the hell out of there.

The moral to this story is something I realized that night.  There is ALWAYS somebody out there that's a bigger bad ass than you.  And they WILL fuck you up quick.  A fist fight is one thing.  These guys didn't care what they had to do put each other in the hospital.  Yeah, I ran like a bitch away from that.  That shit was out of my league.   
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Saniflush

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #27 on: July 18, 2008, 12:53:55 PM »
Yeah, I ran like a bitch away from that.  That shit was out of my league.   

You may not be as dumb as I first suspected.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Ogre

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #28 on: July 18, 2008, 01:31:53 PM »
Story from my H.S. days at Jeff Davis.  I was like everyone else, partied and got in a few fist fights here and there.  There's always a hang out and ours at that time was a convenience store parking lot.  Always 10-12 cars with stereos blasting, beer drinking...the usual.  One night, these 4 guys from Lee High School (Wooo, our big rival) pulled up and started talking shit to some guys from our school.  Apparently. there was some history between em'.  Anyway, the shit talk escalates and they agree to meet in a parking lot up the road.  Of course, word gets around quick and there's a parade of cars headed up to see the main event.

The two car loads meet as planned but they didn't just get out of the cars ready to start swinging.  They got out with chains, knives, a long fuckin' walkin' tall stick and other shit.  I was standing there thinking, "What the fuck?  They're not really gonna'..."

Oh yes they were...and they did.  Within about 60 seconds, there were guys knocked the fuck out, sliced up, being choked out with a chain.  I saw one guy get hit in the face full swing with that stick and he dropped like a rock.  I thought he was dead.  All of us spectators jumped back in our cars and got the hell out of there.

The moral to this story is something I realized that night.  There is ALWAYS somebody out there that's a bigger bad ass than you.  And they WILL fuck you up quick.  A fist fight is one thing.  These guys didn't care what they had to do put each other in the hospital.  Yeah, I ran like a bitch away from that.  That shit was out of my league.   

Pussy.
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wesfau2

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #29 on: July 18, 2008, 01:43:27 PM »
Pussy.

There is currently a moratorium on you calling anyone a pussy.

Pussy.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

AWK

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #30 on: July 18, 2008, 01:49:16 PM »
Pussy.
Shouldn't you be with your life partner shopping for gfits for Thrilla's baby shower?
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

wesfau2

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #31 on: July 18, 2008, 02:30:06 PM »
Shouldn't you be with your life partner shopping for gfits for Thrilla's baby shower?

This guy gets it.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Ogre

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #32 on: July 18, 2008, 02:34:23 PM »
This guy gets it.

I think we're going to the Home Depot.  Maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond.  I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
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wesfau2

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #33 on: July 18, 2008, 02:37:36 PM »
I think we're going to the Home Depot.  Maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond.  I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

C'mon...funnel one beer.  We know the old Ogre is in there somewhere. 

Set THE BRAIN FREE!
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Ogre

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #34 on: July 18, 2008, 02:45:22 PM »
I'm already on a 3 day bender, and the weekend is just now upon me.  It's not looking too good for the ol' liver.
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wesfau2

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #35 on: July 18, 2008, 02:55:41 PM »
I'm already on a 3 day bender, and the weekend is just now upon me.  It's not looking too good for the ol' liver.

Tell your liver to quit being a pussy.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

AWK

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #36 on: July 18, 2008, 03:01:52 PM »
Tell your liver to quit being a pussy.
Why don't buy a dress Brad?...because if you are going to act like a bitch you might as well dress like one. 
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

wesfau2

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #37 on: July 18, 2008, 03:03:09 PM »
Why don't buy a dress Brad?...because if you are going to act like a bitch you might as well dress like one. 

Damn. 

Busted like Britney's kid-spitter.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Jumbo

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #38 on: July 18, 2008, 03:38:05 PM »
C'mon...funnel one beer.  We know the old Ogre is in there somewhere. 

Set THE BRAIN FREE!
Brad, Brad, Brad :clap:
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Ogre

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Re: Oh, the crazy random shit that happens to me...
« Reply #39 on: July 18, 2008, 03:47:39 PM »
Why don't buy a dress Brad?...because if you are going to act like a bitch you might as well dress like one. 

I know this guy isn't talking shit.  If anyone here has no room to talk, it's Taylor "Skipping Through The" Meadows.
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