Why do I find this funny?
Let me tell you the "Story of Reggie"
When I was about 20 I lived in an apartment complex with a bunch of my friends. In the upstairs apartment across from us lived Reggie. He was the prototypical Jheri-Curled faux leather jacket wearing super fly of the mid 80s. Wore one glove. But worked at the chicken plant. Reggie was married to a 300-lb woman. When they had relations, the bed would scream and the frame would leap up and down like a four-legged pogo stick slamming on the roof of the apt. below. They had relations a lot. It got to the point that when they started, the guy who had the downstairs bedroom would call us and we'd go wait them out and then applaud and cheer loudly at the conclusion. Reggie was cool with it.
Reggie drove a 1977 Oldmobile Cutlass. Black.
One day Reggie comes wheeling into the parking lot while we're outside playing basketball. He's got a freshly sprayed and glistening hair-do. The Michael Jackson jacket is on. Driving gloves -- maybe just one. And Raybans. One of the guys calls out "Look at REGGIE!" And Reggie decides to be cool. Hits the gas and careens into a parking spot. Guess he meant to hit the brake and skid to a stop. He didn't. He accidentally stomped the gas as he made the cut. He was already moving fast and when he floored the gas, the tires barked. The car hit the curb, sailed upward, clipped the top half of the airconditioning unit and climbed it. Nose of the car hit the wall of the apartment about four feet up. Momentum carried the Cutlass through the wall. Ass end of the car was sticking out. Reggie hadn't let off the gas. Back wheels were screaming.
Car landed in the bedroom of a friend of ours. He was in the room asleep at the time. Used the "trauma" of nearly being killed to ditch two final exams -- both of which were eventually waived. He is now, of course, a lawyer. Reggie was unhurt. Not a curl misplaced. The Cutlass suffered minor paint scratches and a hole in the chrome.
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