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Jmar Hacked My Account

Snaggletiger

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Jmar Hacked My Account
« on: March 15, 2012, 02:10:34 PM »
Just an observation from a parent helping his kid out with teh homeworks.  It has never ceased to amaze me how utterly screwed up the English language is, or at least the way words are spelled and pronounced.  I've often heard the Engrish ranguage is the hardest to learn, and if I'm from saayyy...Germany...and I'm trying to learn English, I can only imagine how tough (Just check the spelling on tough) it must be to be proficient with it.  Take Spanish, for instance.  I've taken some courses and one of the first things you learn is that you basically pronounce every letter in the word as it is written.  There is really only one consistently silent letter in Spanish. 

So, in reviewing spelling words with my 5th grader, at times I just have to say, "Look, I don't know of any rule to help you remember how to spell this.  You just have to recognize it and remember how it's spelled."  Why is there a need to put a "K" at the start of so many words when it's just a useless letter, hanging on to I guess, look good?

It's a nife...not a Ka-nife.  Knife?  Really?  I just don't Ka-no why there's this need for a K in Know.  But you knew there'd be more. 

Know
Knew
Knife
Knowledge
Man, I'm getting all tied in knots.  Thank God there's a knock at my door.  Probably my neighbor, Mr. Knight.

Neighbor?  eigh says long A or ay?  Why?  That seems geigh to me...wait...I mean gay.  Speaking of gay, the horse says Nay as he pulls the sleigh.  No way, do you know how much that thing weighs? (Yes, I've been smoking weed)

But, I'm not through.  Through?  When did someone decide ough said eww...or ouu...but only for certain words?  Is there some strange need for the gh?  Well, I can understand the need for it in the word tough.  Everyone ka-nows that you really pronounce ough UFF.  Like in BUFFT....I mean bought.  Wait, now it's AWW? Although....damn, now it's long O? Man, this is rough.  I ought to stop.  But I can't.  There's too many different letters in our language that make the same sounds and some that have several different pronunciations... shuns.  Pisses me ough.  I theenk

You'd better be consistently concise when using C to spell cat, cork cable or century.  Concur? Keep em' coming? Nah, I'll quit. To go on would be Wrong.  Cause if loving you in Wrong, I don't want to be WRight. But I just looked back at "would" and thought it could be the L is what gives it that sound.

It's such a hassle to wrestle with this stuff but thank God we're in a nation where we can be passionate about theengs.  Think I'll go load up that bong.  I'm through.  You? Yeah, me too.   

 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

CCTAU

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2012, 02:14:57 PM »
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

JR4AU

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2012, 02:21:43 PM »
Laughter (laff ter)?

slaughter (slaw ter)?  Hang an S in front of "laughter" and you get something totally different sounding.  Fucked up.

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Saniflush

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2012, 02:29:23 PM »
hatchet wound

mommy part


yep.  I see what you mean. 
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2012, 02:30:31 PM »
I had an accident.  Two C's side by side...two different sounds?  I broke an occipital bone on account of the accident. No wonder it's tuff to learn English real good.  Especially if you have an accent.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2012, 02:31:37 PM »
hatchet wound

mommy part


yep.  I see what you mean.

Good gollly gee....did you mean Vajina?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

JR4AU

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2012, 02:55:00 PM »
Good gollly gee....did you mean Vajina?

seedbox?
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2012, 02:58:46 PM »
seedbox?

X...CKS....same sound.  A box full of rocks.  Who made this shit up?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2012, 03:04:01 PM »
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteers be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

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Snaggletiger

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2012, 03:08:19 PM »
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteers be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

So, we're bustin' outta' here at midnight?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #10 on: March 15, 2012, 03:10:14 PM »
So, we're bustin' outta' here at midnight?

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2012, 03:13:54 PM »
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!

OVALTINE????
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2012, 04:07:33 PM »
Old but still funny to me.  Mini snags can recite every word. 

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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Tiger Wench

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2012, 07:38:18 PM »
My daughter (age EIGHT - yeah, some of y'all remember me being preggers with her...) cannot spell for shit.  Must be the corn dog blood because he can't spell either.  Anyway, she has decided that vowels are optional.  Makes me nuts trying to help her write. She is very creative and has a great imagination, but holy shit. 
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Vandy Vol

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Re: Jmar Hacked My Account
« Reply #14 on: March 15, 2012, 08:47:43 PM »
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin