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Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum

Kaos

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Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« on: September 22, 2011, 01:35:18 PM »
Can't let it go.  This is his latest, buried deep in the CNNSI site (you have to search for him by name to even find it)

Quote

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/paul_finebaum/09/22/auburn/index.html

Remember when the Auburn Tigers were the Chicago Cubs of college football? Lovable when they lost and tortured when they won.

In 2004 it appeared Auburn might have the nation's best team, finishing 14-0. Yet the Tigers were denied a shot at playing for the BCS title because USC and Oklahoma started the season Nos. 1 and 2, respectively, and neither lost (Auburn started at No. 17). Auburn fans were blue after finishing No. 2, but finally shrugged it off after a good cry, realizing this always happens when you haven't won a title since 1957.

Auburn's tough luck and woe is what made college football's favorite little brother so lovable. Most followers of a school are simply called fans. These folks demand to be called "the Auburn family.''

Then a strange thing happened. The school's luck started to change with juco transfers Cam Newton and Nick Fairley. Some 14 games later, Auburn won the national title and Newton was the runaway winner of the Heisman Trophy. All was right.

Or so we thought.

In the days immediately following Auburn's 22-19 victory over Oregon in the national title game, the jokes began.

Famous sports artist Daniel Moore has been commissioned to do a national championship picture for Auburn. He's doing it on pencil in case it has to be erased.

Many college football fans were still incredulous over the NCAA's investigation into Newton's eligibility, which led to an incendiary ruling on Dec. 1, 2010. The star quarterback's eligibility had been reinstated by the NCAA less than 24 hours after he had been declared ineligible by the school, just days before the SEC Championship Game. The NCAA's decision and nearly inexplicable explanation to support it was widely criticized and reeked of a deal between Auburn, the SEC and the NCAA. However, the NCAA did not have a smoking gun and said there was no evidence that Newton knew his father, Cecil, was talking to someone associated with Mississippi State about a $180,000 payment for Cam to sign with the Bulldogs, and no evidence Auburn had done anything improper.

Which seems more plausible? Cecil Newton saying: "Cam, I want you to go to Auburn because of its academics and because it is closer to our home of Atlanta,'' or "Cam, those ingrates at Mississippi State won't pay your fair market value like other schools, so you're going to Auburn''?

Things took an epic turn in February when authorities charged Harvey Updyke, an Alabama zealot, with poisoning the iconic Toomer's Trees at Auburn. Thus continued what had to be the most forgettable offseason for any reigning college football national champion in recent memory.

Then, in early June Tigers coach Gene Chizik asked what may have been the most ill-timed question of the year. According to The New York Times, Chizik asked Julie Roe Lach, the NCAA's vice president of enforcement, about the infamous Newton investigation and why the NCAA had not publicly announced it was over.

The question was addressed at the SEC spring meetings in Destin, Fla., not in a dark hallway. Chizik -- who lost to South Carolina's Steve Spurrier for SEC Coach of the Year in a ballot by his fellow coaches (despite beating Spurrier once in the regular season and 56-17 in the conference title game) -- asked the question in front of every head football coach, head basketball coach and athletic director in the league. Can you spell arrogance? Or is that stupidity?

According to the Times, Chizik complained Auburn was being hurt on the recruiting trail and he followed up three times.

"You'll know when we're finished," Roe Lach told Chizik. "And we're not finished."

Finally, the season started three weeks ago for Auburn, and it was almost over in three hours. It took two touchdowns and a virtuoso onside kick for Auburn to come from behind in the final 2:07 to beat Utah State 42-38.

The following week, it was Mississippi State that stormed from 14 down, only to be stopped on the one-inch line as time expired, giving Auburn another-heart stopper.

But it all caught up to Auburn last Saturday in Death Valley. The BCS champs jumped up 21-7, only to be outclassed in the game's final three quarters, losing 38-24 to Clemson, ending the nation's longest winningest streak at 17 games.

And to think, the real season hasn't even begun yet. Next week (after a scrimmage Saturday against hapless Florida Atlantic), Auburn travels to South Carolina, followed by a trip to Arkansas. A home game against Florida is followed by a road game against LSU. Later, the Tigers must still travel to Georgia before ending the season against Alabama.

Already, Auburn fans (I mean "family'') are ready to jump ship on defensive coordinator Ted Roof, whose unit currently ranks No. 117 out of 120 nationally in total defense (534 yard per game). And to think Auburn hasn't even played a high-powered offense yet. Serious blame must be placed on the head coach who is considered a defensive wizard. Offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn, considered the brightest nova in coaching (and making $1.3 million), must be wondering where his stock will be when this season ends.

Even the animal kingdom seems jinxed by Auburn's reversal of fortune. Of the many wonderful aspects of going to a game at Jordan-Hare Stadium, perhaps the most amazing is the pregame flight of Spirit, the school's bald eagle. However, that's only when Spirit's flight makes a nonstop landing at midfield. Before the Mississippi State game, Spirit got his GPS out of whack and made a detour into the window of a luxury box before landing. He must have thought an NCAA investigator was hiding behind the glass.

Spirit is off the injured reserve, but predictably PETA is conducting an investigation, although no official notice of allegations has been delivered yet.

Of course, things could be worse. The NCAA could still come down on Auburn, strip the BCS title and Newton's Heisman. Perhaps that wouldn't be the worst thing. At least then Auburn would return to the comfort zone of being college football's lovable little brother, a role it seemingly handles better than being on college football's mountaintop.


FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKING CLOWN. 
« Last Edit: September 22, 2011, 01:36:05 PM by Kaos »
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

djsimp

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2011, 01:43:00 PM »
Well, at least we know what audience he is still trying to lure in with the rest of his goat humping followers. Once upon a time you could actually see there was a difference in his articles and his radio head. Not so much anymore, FB has become that radio persona in all areas of his life.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2011, 01:43:42 PM by djsimp »
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AUChizad

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2011, 01:55:10 PM »
Quote
Which seems more plausible? Cecil Newton saying: "Cam, I want you to go to Auburn because of its academics and because it is closer to our home of Atlanta,'' or "Cam, those ingrates at Mississippi State won't pay your fair market value like other schools, so you're going to Auburn''?
You want me to answer that, Paul? Not to mention the fact that compared to Mississippi fuckin' State, Auburn is a football powerhouse?
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Jumbo

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2011, 02:11:26 PM »
Fuck that hit piece article, I'm glad that shits buried at SI.
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

JR4AU

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2011, 02:27:43 PM »
"It's a caller driven show, I have no control over what callers say, I'm neutral, I like Gene Chizik, and I don't hate Auburn."

"I don't know why people got so upset over what I said at Birmingham Southern, it was an academic exercise."
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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2011, 02:28:16 PM »
What's truly sad is that Finebaum was openly critical of the media's bullshit investigation of Cam Newton.  In fact, he went on ESPN and pretty much defended him.

But that doesn't serve him now.  So he's acting like he's been part of the ESPN lynch mob ever since it started.

Hey where has Finebaum been guest starring quite often recently?  OTL?  Isn't that on ESPN?
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

JR4AU

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2011, 02:30:49 PM »
What's truly sad is that Finebaum was openly critical of the media's bullshit investigation of Cam Newton.  In fact, he went on ESPN and pretty much defended him.

But that doesn't serve him now.  So he's acting like he's been part of the ESPN lynch mob ever since it started.

Hey where has Finebaum been guest starring quite often recently?  OTL?  Isn't that on ESPN?

Fuckin' piece of shit needs to be put out of business.  Kaos asked in another thread why others outside the south viewed Auburn the way they do...this fucking type of shit is the exact reason.  We have nobody on a national level to counter this shit, and few on the local level will.
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JR4AU

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2011, 03:22:04 PM »
Did SI really hire this fuck to produce pile of shit after pile of this on his Auburn hate?  SI thinks this douchebag's obsessional level of hate for Auburn is of national sport's interest?
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AUChizad

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2011, 03:32:47 PM »
What's truly sad is that Finebaum was openly critical of the media's bullshit investigation of Cam Newton.  In fact, he went on ESPN and pretty much defended him.

But that doesn't serve him now.  So he's acting like he's been part of the ESPN lynch mob ever since it started.

Hey where has Finebaum been guest starring quite often recently?  OTL?  Isn't that on ESPN?
It serves him to play both sides.

"I don't understand why these Aubs hate me. I was the only one defending Cam in the national media," out of one side of his mouth, and then he writes shit like this out of the other.
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GH2001

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2011, 03:40:25 PM »
You want me to answer that, Paul? Not to mention the fact that compared to Mississippi fuckin' State, Auburn is a football powerhouse?
Auburn is a lot of things compared to Miss. St

Place is a real shithole. Worst academics in the SEC. Shitty campus. Shitty sports. Crime central, etc etc.
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WDE

AUChizad

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2011, 02:58:11 PM »
Dude can't stop tweeting links to Capstone Report posts FROM SHANE that suck his cock.

I have intentionally not listened to him all week, but the motherfucker is leaking through to me anyway with absurd shit like this.

http://capstonereport.com/2011/09/23/another-day-another-auburn-fan-wants-boycott-of-paul-finebaum-sports-illustrated-and-wjox/13878/ (Don't click it)

Quote
Another day, another Auburn fan wants boycott of Paul Finebaum, Sports Illustrated and WJOX

I ’m really starting to worry about Paul Finebaum’s safety. Every week there is some bad news for Auburn, and every week some Auburn fan blames Finebaum. The latest round of Auburn anger comes from Finebaum’s Sports Illustrated column, “Even after winning national title, cloud still hangs over Auburn.” Auburn fans went on the warpath.

The Auburn message boards were the scene of the latest boycott call. The latest is disturbing. One post at Auburn Undercover took issue with calling Auburn a “little brother.”

The post ranted, “The world needs to realize we’re not going to take this crap lying down. I wish he didn’t have a voice, but when national media outlets like CNNSI are willing to let him print garbage such as that and refer to Auburn as ‘little brother’ as if it’s some sort of established fact, he should be run out of business. And as for anyone who supports him, you’re either with us, or you’re against us …”

Interesting thinking. Of course, what else should we expect from the Auburn Family? But read on…

The poster rants, “I directly blame Paul Finebaum as a primary source of how blown out of proportion the Cam issues have been and more importantly as THE source of the animosity between the two fan bases in Alabama that resulted in the killing of treasured, protected, living things.”

The tired old blame game where a media personality is blamed for something that someone else did.

Cam Newton and his Cecil Newton were the problem for Auburn. Finebaum didn’t steal a laptop, commit academic fraud at Florida or pimp his son for $180,000 or $200,000. However, this whole mess is Finebaum’s fault. That NCAA probe of Auburn’s recruiting practices has nothing to do with Auburn’s recruiting practices—it is all because of Paul Finebaum and his radio show on WJOX. Oh, and his Sports Illustrated column.

Or maybe it is El Nino’s fault. Someone start a petition on that.

Then the poster sums up his rage in a very interesting, and disturbing way: “I’ve had it with Paul Finebaum’s existence as a public figure. (if that’s not perfectly clear.)”

Scary.

Auburn fans have launched an email campaign to ban Finebaum from campus (story here), and now this—it makes one wonder how safe is it for Paul Finebaum to attend this year’s Iron Bowl?

But Finebaum is not the only target of Auburn’s wrath. Fans blame Sports Illustrated and local radio station WJOX. Auburn fans want the boycott to extend to these media outlets.

Another Auburn fan declared, “I don’t have a subscription (although I almost subscribed just to get the Auburn Championship package). I used to think SI was sports icon in the magazine world, but they seem to have jumped the shark. Between hiring PF and having Brad Pitt on the cover, I have lost all respect for them.”

Finebaum’s article sparked rage on Twitter. I Bleed Crimson Red has an excellent rundown of the Twitter meltdown, and this one sums up the Auburn Family. BettyCrocked raged, “@finebaum still struggling with Auburn’s National Championship. What a butthurt little updyke he is….”

Over at Scout’s Auburn fan website, a poll of readers has a majority of Auburn fans wanting Finebaum kept out of the stadium. The general theme was threatening. One poster declared, “Let him buy a ticket and sit in the stands like everybody else. For his sake though, he better buy tickets in the visitor’s section.”

Auburn’s lunatic fringe has made Paul Finebaum its top enemy. Will they win and keep Paul Finebaum away from the Iron Bowl? More importantly, will Finebaum be safe at the game?
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AUChizad

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2011, 03:15:04 PM »
What is "scary" is that on the day before Alabama's biggest game so far this season, Shane CancerCorn's shitty blog is reporting off of random Auburn message board rants as if it's news, and THEN Finebaum attempts to legitimize it.

Meanwhile, Clay Travis and Brooks, are raving lunatics for saying negative things about Alabama, while Never To Yield Foundation and War Blogle, etc. are off-the-charts whackos for saying positive things about Auburn.
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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2011, 03:28:18 PM »
I think they want so badly for one of us to go off the deep end. 

They want someone to kill Finebaum or blow up his house or poison his trees.

They want an Updyke to emerge from Auburn, so they can continue to garner sympathy for Harvey by disparaging Auburn's Updyke as being ten times more vehement. 

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Saniflush

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2011, 03:29:08 PM »
What is "scary" is that on the day before Alabama's biggest game so far this season, Shane CancerCorn's shitty blog is reporting off of random Auburn message board rants as if it's news, and THEN Finebaum attempts to legitimize it.

Meanwhile, Clay Travis and Brooks, are raving lunatics for saying negative things about Alabama, while Never To Yield Foundation and War Blogle, etc. are off-the-charts whackos for saying positive things about Auburn.

Well that right there proves the hammer is about to fall.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

wesfau2

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #14 on: September 23, 2011, 03:33:57 PM »
I am the lunatic fringe.  I called earlier today and cancelled my SI subscription (purchased only for the NC bonus items) because of their association with PF.

Fuck 'em.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #15 on: September 23, 2011, 03:37:25 PM »
I am the lunatic fringe.  I called earlier today and cancelled my SI subscription (purchased only for the NC bonus items) because of their association with PF.

Fuck 'em.

You're a great American.
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

AWK

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2011, 03:44:08 PM »
You're a great American.
Indeed.  God Bless, everyone.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #17 on: September 23, 2011, 03:50:58 PM »
And God bless Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUChizad

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #18 on: September 23, 2011, 03:52:54 PM »
I think they want so badly for one of us to go off the deep end. 

They want someone to kill Finebaum or blow up his house or poison his trees.

They want an Updyke to emerge from Auburn, so they can continue to garner sympathy for Harvey by disparaging Auburn's Updyke as being ten times more vehement. 

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen.
There's got to be crazier Auburn fans out there than me, and I'm resisting the urge.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Fine-motherfuckingdouchebastard-baum
« Reply #19 on: September 23, 2011, 04:00:39 PM »
I couldn't read much of that drivel but part of it did get me to thinking when he said, every week there's some bad news at Auburn.....

What bad news? Seriously, what's been going wrong at Auburn?  Our defense can't stop Lanier High School but hell, that's been going on for 2+ years now.  We has a Roof.   
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."