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Can we please play chocolate?

Kaos

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Can we please play chocolate?
« on: September 04, 2011, 11:17:20 PM »
I'm fucking sick to fucking death of fucking van-fucking-nilla. 

Whenever Auburn plays a closer than expected game, whenever the defense (lately) or offense (four years ago and earlier) plays like shit on marmalade toast some drizzly fuck comes along with the "we were playing vanilla" excuse. 

Well fuck me.  I used to like vanilla.  Vanilla coke. Vanilla ice cream. (Va)Nilla wafers.  Vanilla vodka. No more.  I'm done with vanilla.

"playing vanilla" is the most pathetic and ridiculous excuse I've ever heard in my life. 

Fuck vanilla.

Let's play chocolate from now on. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2011, 11:23:57 PM »
I still like vanilla.  It's my favorite ice cream flavor.
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2011, 11:36:38 PM »


This picture isn't vanilla.  It's not chocolate.  It's a vat of rocky road marshmallow turtle tracks slow churned double fatty horseshit.

Stop a 5 yard 4th down attempt with that?  Hmm... Good luck.
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Token

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2011, 11:39:54 PM »


This picture isn't vanilla.  It's not chocolate.  It's a vat of rocky road marshmallow turtle tracks slow churned double fatty horseshit.

Stop a 5 yard 4th down attempt with that?  Hmm... Good luck.

Holy shit.  Is that a hail mary defensive alignment? 
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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2011, 11:42:40 PM »
I think Malzahn and Roof have a bet going on.

"Hey Gus, I bet your offense can't overcome the worst defense in the world." 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2011, 11:48:51 PM »
We gave up 3 fourth down conversions.  Including one that against our defense, Utah State felt comfortable enough to take a five yard delay of game penalty before they attempted it inside the 10 yard line.  L. O. L.
 :facepalm:
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GH2001

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2011, 01:40:24 PM »
Holy shit.  Is that a hail mary defensive alignment?

Fucking Prevent?  :facepalm:
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WDE

Jumbo

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2011, 03:34:39 PM »


This picture isn't vanilla.  It's not chocolate.  It's a vat of rocky road marshmallow turtle tracks slow churned double fatty horseshit.

Stop a 5 yard 4th down attempt with that?  Hmm... Good luck.
That's almost comical.
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AWK

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2011, 08:01:20 PM »
I think Malzahn and Roof have a bet going on.

"Hey Gus, I bet your offense can't overcome the worst defense in the world."
Lulz.  Roof will win this season.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

jmar

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2011, 07:41:55 AM »


This is chocolate...double fakes with traps and sweeps with lead blockers out front and then working a pass off that same set-up. We have large agile linemen that can get out front (two just chomping at the bit) and I think State should get a healthy dose of this even if we aren't ready to run it because it beats standing around with a thumb up the ass.

 * Our guys were described afterwards as slow and weak by Utah State players.
If we were sandbagging (dear God) it's the greatest ploy of all time.
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atticus

Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2011, 09:32:47 AM »
Being described as "weak and slow" by players from a WAC team concerns me. 
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Saniflush

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2011, 09:51:12 AM »

 * Our guys were described afterwards as slow and weak by Utah State players.


please to be showing where one might view this?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2011, 09:56:47 AM »
please to be showing where one might view this?

Exactly.  Evidently, if true, Utah St. players quit their evaluations at about the 57 minute mark, and turned them in to the reporters just before minute 58.
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War Eagle!!!

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2011, 10:06:35 AM »
I am not sure if Utah State players said that or not, I do know that I said it during the game. Auburn DID look slow and weak. They were getting pushed around and beat to the point of attack on both sides of the ball.
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wesfau2

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2011, 10:53:48 AM »
I've been out of pocket all weekend, so I haven't had a chance to watch the DVR yet.  However, after reading the proverbial wailing and gnashing of teeth, I have some preliminary thoughts (to be revised upon viewing the game):

1) There is a ton of talent on this team.  Unfortunately, it is all very young and inexperienced.  There will be growing pains.
2) Sounds like we had a bit of NC hangover.  The kids apparently thought that USU couldn't hold the champs' jocks and got punched in the mouth early and often for their hubris.  When necessary, they got their asses in gear and secured the W.
3) Bitch about the basic play calling all you want, but the coaches really shouldn't have to open the playbooks up on this type of game.  A base philosophy on both sides of the ball should have been plenty to blow the doors off USU.  See #2 above.
4) I suspect there will be some sore asses from all the chewing they get this week.  I expect to see a much more inspired team take the field at the god-awful time of 11am this week.
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AUTiger1

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2011, 10:59:18 AM »
please to be showing where one might view this?

It was in JLee's write up after the game on the bunker.  This is from one of their LB's

Quote
"I felt like we were stronger than them. I felt like we were faster than them, but I felt like they made plays when they needed to, and we did not."

Their coach said something about them being more physical than us.

http://auburn.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1260089
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

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Saniflush

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2011, 11:03:32 AM »
Not to split hairs but there seems to be a pretty big difference between saying the other team was "slow and weak" and saying "I felt like we were stronger than them. I felt like we were faster than them".

No?

One is smack talk and one is disappointment knowing you let a win slip through your fingers.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AUTiger1

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #17 on: September 06, 2011, 11:10:19 AM »
Not to split hairs but there seems to be a pretty big difference between saying the other team was "slow and weak" and saying "I felt like we were stronger than them. I felt like we were faster than them".

No?

One is smack talk and one is disappointment knowing you let a win slip through your fingers.

Agree, just providing the link and quote.  Unless jmar saw a different quote somewhere else that I haven't seen, that is all I have seen from them.
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

Snaggletiger

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #18 on: September 06, 2011, 12:01:30 PM »
I blame the new pregame entrance song
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jmar

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Re: Can we please play chocolate?
« Reply #19 on: September 07, 2011, 06:15:48 AM »
I blame the new pregame entrance song
I infer by your statement and that of some others that the music sucks.

 Seldom does an opponent out of conference claim to be stronger and faster but I took it as it was intended. It was repeated on JOX. and appears to be on the mark unless we were lulling them into a trap. Their team has an opening streak going and our boys did enough to keep it alive. That's all that matters. I didn't write anything about needing to see Yoxall, hammer Ted Roof, criticize Chizik's hat and jacket, or bitch about some fans leaving early.
 
I'm sure their team was hurt in letting this one slip away.
I'm more interested in seeing what Grimes and Malzahn can do from week one to two. I threw out the entire first half as a symptom of being stage struck. 
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