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Another quality email from an asshole

Buzz Killington

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Another quality email from an asshole
« on: August 25, 2011, 03:00:17 PM »
Quote
Childhood Classics
Posted at: 2011-07-12 06:54:03 | 369 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
Wanted - CHILDRENS DVDS
Movies wanted for children aged 5 and up - will take all unwanted DVDs!
From Me to *********@**********.org:

Hey there!

I'm trying to get rid of a bunch of movies I've had since I was a kid. The movie stores won't take them, and it would be a shame for me to just throw them out. I'd love to pass them on to people who can enjoy them. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Mike - Which movies do you have and how much do you want for them?

From Me to Julia ******:

Julia,

Here is the full list:

Alvin and the Chipmunks
Alladin
Backdoor Creampies 2
Beauty and the Beast
Big Black Threesome
Fantasia
Finally 18 and Legal
The Lion King
Mattress Slaves 3
The Mighty Ducks
Toy Story
Wet Squirters 5

Please let me know which ones you want.

Thanks,

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Mike...some of those titles are inappropriate.

From Me to Julia ******:

Julia,

Which titles are inappropriate?

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

I think you know which ones...

From Me to Julia ******:

Are you talking about Fantasia? I know, I thought it was a Vietnam war movie too. I assure you it has nothing to do with Asia and is completely appropriate for children. The only other title I think you are referring to as inappropriate is The Lion King, but I think you are confusing that with "The Scorpion King," the violent movie starring Dwayne Johnson. While the Lion King does have adult themes, it is nothing like The Scorpion King.

I hope this clears things up.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

No...explain to me how these movies are for children??? Backdoor Creampies, Big Black Threesome, Finally 18 and Legal, Mattress Slaves 3, Wet Squirters 5. It sounds to me like you are trying to throw out your porn collection.

From Me to Julia ******:

Pornography? What a disgusting accusation! What kind of a person do you think I am? You have a really perverted mind if you think those movies are adult films.

You've really never heard of those movies? Where was your childhood? I'll find the plot summaries for you.

Backdoor Creampies - Cindy, a little girl with big ambitions, decides to open a bakery in her parents kitchen - selling pies to children who come to her backyard. Cindy learns that running a business isn't all fun and games in this hilarious tale of entrepreneurship.

Big Black Threesome - Barry, Billy and Bernie are three lovable black bears who have zany adventures during their quest for honey.

Finally 18 and Legal - A coming of age story about a young girl who becomes an independent woman.

Mattress Slaves 3 - Part 3 of the shocking documentary about slave labor in the mattress industry of third world countries. (Acceptable for kids, and in my opinion, a necessity to educate them on some real world issues. I never bought a foreign mattress again after this eye-opener.)

Wet Squirters 5 - The Squirters gang is back again in this heartwarming tale about a group of whales who try to find their long lost father in a vast ocean of wet sea critters.

Once again, I hope this clears things up for you.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

You expect me to believe that all of those movies simply have unfortunate titles? Nice try.

From Me to Julia ******:

Sorry to disappoint your sick mind Julia, but yes, they are all children's movies. So do you want them or not?

By the way, I just found 3 more movies to add to the collection I am offering:

Toy Story 2
James and the Giant Peach
Walt Disney's Double Penetration Cockblasts 3

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Okay I've had enough of this. You are a nut.

From Me to Julia ******:

Think of the children, Julia. They will never get to enjoy these classic films because of you.

From Julia ****** to Me:

Go to hell.


http://www.dontevenreply.com/
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Another quality email from an asshole
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2011, 03:06:09 PM »
 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :classic:
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

djsimp

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Re: Another quality email from an asshole
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2011, 04:48:24 PM »
That shit is fucking HILARIOUS!
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Token

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Re: Another quality email from an asshole
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2011, 08:49:33 PM »
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=107

Another good one.  I would copy and paste, but there's pictures.
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War Eagle!!!

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Re: Another quality email from an asshole
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2011, 09:35:45 PM »
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=107

Another good one.  I would copy and paste, but there's pictures.

Holy. Shit.

One of the best I have seen...
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Another quality email from an asshole
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2011, 11:00:15 PM »
That was one of his better efforts.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

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Re: Another quality email from an asshole
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2011, 07:09:33 AM »
That was one of his better efforts.

The transition in language was perfect.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

War Eagle!!!

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Re: Another quality email from an asshole
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2011, 11:33:12 AM »
Quote
Racist Microwave Buyer
Posted at: 2009-11-16 13:02:45
Original ad:
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:

I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerely hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.

Thank you,
Jamal

From Amy ****** to Me:

I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.

Amy

From Me to Amy ******:

Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.

Sincerely offended,
Jamal

From Amy ****** to Me:

I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.

Amy

From Me to Amy ******:

So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?

From Amy ****** to Me:

I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!

From Me to Amy ******:

So you don't want the microwave?

From Amy ****** to Me:

Will you still sell it to me?

From Me to Amy ******:

I would never sell anything to a racist.


From Amy ****** to Me:

Ugh I'm done with you.


I would never sell anything to a racist....

I laughed hard at this line...
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