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So I Go To My Investment...

Snaggletiger

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So I Go To My Investment...
« on: August 05, 2011, 10:38:42 AM »
broker dude day before yesterday to ask what he thinks about basically moving some of my vast portfolio into something very conservative while the stock market is so volatile.  Now, let me preface this by saying two things.  First, I know exactly squat about investing.  Second, my "vast portfolio" consists of about 22 shares of Movie Gallery stock. (Wonder how that's doing) and $153.32 in an IRA.  But, it's mine and I plan on retiring pretty soon.

The guy gives me the whole, "Look, you're investing for long term gains. You have to expect some ups and downs.  Relax, our people are really predicting this thing to turn around immediately."  I leave there with a real uneasy feeling.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone knew what the market did yesterday.  I've been busy and haven't been able to check on it.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2011, 10:47:03 AM »
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Snaggletiger

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2011, 10:51:31 AM »
So, you're saying it was a bad day on Wall Skreet?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2011, 10:52:20 AM »
So, you're saying it was a bad day on Wall Skreet?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

djsimp

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2011, 11:25:00 AM »
So, you're saying it was a bad day on Wall Skreet?

So, you're saying it was a bad day on Wall Skreet?

Good gosh man...yes it was! Quit rubbing it in already!
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AUsweetheart

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2011, 01:04:59 PM »
Retiring pretty soon? You've only been working nine years.

GarMan is gonna be pissed.
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A national championship is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.

Snaggletiger

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2011, 01:49:42 PM »
Retiring pretty soon? You've only been working nine years.

GarMan is gonna be pissed.

Yeah, but attorneys make a lot of money.  A LOT.  So it doesn't take nearly as many years.  You have your retirement portfolio in place, right?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2011, 01:50:41 PM »
The "experts" are saying that it is not over yet.  I am taking my Mason jar and moving it to a more secure location tonight just in case.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2011, 02:01:30 PM »
The "experts" are saying that it is not over yet.  I am taking my Mason jar and moving it to a more secure location tonight just in case.

Speaking of that, I've got the ole spare change shoe box under the bed.  Have always made a habit of dropping whatever is in my pocket in the box when I come home every day.  When we were headed to the beach a couple of weeks ago, decided to roll some of the quarters and take that to the bank for cash to use as meal money at the beach.  I didn't get nearly half of it rolled and had over $400.00. 

I ate good at the beach.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUTiger1

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2011, 03:19:22 PM »
Speaking of that, I've got the ole spare change shoe box under the bed.  Have always made a habit of dropping whatever is in my pocket in the box when I come home every day.  When we were headed to the beach a couple of weeks ago, decided to roll some of the quarters and take that to the bank for cash to use as meal money at the beach.  I didn't get nearly half of it rolled and had over $400.00. 

I ate good at the beach.

Pics of said taco?

Wait.......oh you meant with the change you.....Ok, I see now.
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

AUTiger1

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2011, 03:20:13 PM »
The "experts" are saying that it is not over yet.  I am taking my Mason jar and moving it to a more secure location tonight just in case.

Me too.
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

wesfau2

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2011, 03:42:10 PM »
Yeah, but attorneys make a lot of money.  A LOT.  So it doesn't take nearly as many years.  You have your retirement portfolio in place, right?

Werd.  I just work for shits and giggles these days.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Buzz Killington

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2011, 03:45:57 PM »
Werd.  I just work for shits and giggles these days.

Me too.  I work for several shits and I giggle all day.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2011, 03:51:22 PM »
Me too.  I work for several shits and I giggle all day.

Nothing like a good shit at work.  Makes me giggle.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUsweetheart

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2011, 03:58:01 PM »
Damn I guess I need to start chasing amberlamps.
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A national championship is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.

AWK

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #15 on: August 05, 2011, 04:02:13 PM »
I just work for the weekend, really.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #16 on: August 05, 2011, 04:06:19 PM »
I just work for the weekend, really.

Hey, everybody's workin' for the weekend.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AWK

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #17 on: August 05, 2011, 04:08:07 PM »
Hey, everybody's workin' for the weekend.
Says who?
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

wesfau2

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #18 on: August 05, 2011, 04:11:04 PM »
Says who?

Says Loverboy, motherfucker.

Rec-a-nize.

He's Lovin Every Minute of It.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Snaggletiger

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Re: So I Go To My Investment...
« Reply #19 on: August 05, 2011, 04:14:37 PM »
Says Loverboy, motherfucker.

Rec-a-nize.

He's Lovin Every Minute of It.

I'm not man or machine.  Just somethin' in between.  Come back
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."