Finally home

[wesfau]

I spent most of this week in S. Florida.  This was my first visit to the lower half of the state and here are my observations (yes, some are ridiculously obvious):

1) The rich in Palm Beach have essentially seceded from the US.  There is a moat between us and them and they'd prefer it if you didn't cross the bridge.  They might even pull up the draw bridge if they don't like you.  Fucking ridiculous houses and yachts out there.

2) South Beach has more incredible immigrant booty than any other place on the planet.  Granada, Russia, South Africa, Poland...all well represented in one bar.  Well represented.

3) You can buy Cuban cigars in S.Beach.  I asked the girl how she could get away with selling illegal items and she rolled her eyes at me and said, "Sir, you can buy many illegal things in Miami."  Of course.  How silly of me to forget that.

4) Fort Lauderdale is home of the sugar momma.  If you are there, you can look for your 401K.  She's most likely sitting at a bar, sipping a martini and waiting to take you to her penthouse condo.

5) Traveling with your boss is no fun....unless your boss likes to drink excessively, pay for everything, and ogle young women.

6) Jerry's Diner in South Beach is fucking expensive.  A late night meal for three cost us $71.  We had sandwiches.

7) Do not...I repeat...DO NOT allow your coworker to invite a strange woman from another car to jump in your cab.  She will be a meth addict and will try to follow you into your room in hopes of earning a quick $50.

I'll add more as the fog of booze lifts and I can remember more.

[AuburnChopper 3.0]

7) Do not...I repeat...DO NOT allow your coworker to invite a strange woman from another car to jump in your cab.  She will be a meth addict and will try to follow you into your room in hopes of earning a quick $50.

I thought this is how you met Jumbo? 

[AWK]

I spent most of this week in S. Florida.  This was my first visit to the lower half of the state and here are my observations (yes, some are ridiculously obvious):

1) The rich in Palm Beach have essentially seceded from the US.  There is a moat between us and them and they'd prefer it if you didn't cross the bridge.  They might even pull up the draw bridge if they don't like you.  Fucking ridiculous houses and yachts out there.

2) South Beach has more incredible immigrant booty than any other place on the planet.  Granada, Russia, South Africa, Poland...all well represented in one bar.  Well represented.

3) You can buy Cuban cigars in S.Beach.  I asked the girl how she could get away with selling illegal items and she rolled her eyes at me and said, "Sir, you can buy many illegal things in Miami."  Of course.  How silly of me to forget that.

4) Fort Lauderdale is home of the sugar momma.  If you are there, you can look for your 401K.  She's most likely sitting at a bar, sipping a martini and waiting to take you to her penthouse condo.

5) Traveling with your boss is no fun....unless your boss likes to drink excessively, pay for everything, and ogle young women.

6) Jerry's Diner in South Beach is fucking expensive.  A late night meal for three cost us $71.  We had sandwiches.

7) Do not...I repeat...DO NOT allow your coworker to invite a strange woman from another car to jump in your cab.  She will be a meth addict and will try to follow you into your room in hopes of earning a quick $50.

I'll add more as the fog of booze lifts and I can remember more.

Boca Rotan (sp), or however the hell you spell it in Miami is 4000 times more pretentious than Palm Beach.

[wesfau]

Boca Rotan (sp), or however the hell you spell it in Miami is 4000 times more pretentious than Palm Beach.

Without reason.  PB was much nicer.

[wesfau]

I thought this is how you met Jumbo? 

I try to learn from my mistakes.

[Tarheel]

...

3) You can buy Cuban cigars in S.Beach.  I asked the girl how she could get away with selling illegal items and she rolled her eyes at me and said, "Sir, you can buy many illegal things in Miami."  Of course.  How silly of me to forget that.

...

I'd be very suspicious of these...lots of fakes out there.  But, hey, GarMan and I have gotten real Cuban cigars in Dallas before...and certain establishments in Las Vegas...and Indianapolis...and NYC...ah, hell, I guess they probably were real Cubans.

[GarMan]

3) You can buy Cuban cigars in S.Beach.  I asked the girl how she could get away with selling illegal items and she rolled her eyes at me and said, "Sir, you can buy many illegal things in Miami."  Of course.  How silly of me to forget that.

Well, the ones in plain site are usually fakes.  The ones hidden in the manager's secret humidor or back office closet are usually real.  That's not to say that a fake won't smoke well.  You will probably just pay $20 more than what it's actually worth. 

4) Fort Lauderdale is home of the sugar momma.  If you are there, you can look for your 401K.  She's most likely sitting at a bar, sipping a martini and waiting to take you to her penthouse condo.

Well, the ones I remember seeing in Ft. Lauderdale had skin that looked like road maps and tits that resembled tube socks.  Of course, I was traveling with a new company at the time and avoided the higher end cocktail lounges.  But, I'm always up for an evening romp with a decent looking cougar.   

7) Do not...I repeat...DO NOT allow your coworker to invite a strange woman from another car to jump in your cab.  She will be a meth addict and will try to follow you into your room in hopes of earning a quick $50.

I always carry an extra $50.  Heh, heh, heh...     It's a lot cheaper than having to take her out to a nice restaurant. 

[wesfau]

Well, the ones in plain site are usually fakes.  The ones hidden in the manager's secret humidor or back office closet are usually real.  That's not to say that a fake won't smoke well.  You will probably just pay $20 more than what it's actually worth. 

I wasn't paying, so I was unconcerned.  I got a Cohiba for $12...smallest gauge she had.

Well, the ones I remember seeing in Ft. Lauderdale had skin that looked like road maps and tits that resembled tube socks.  Of course, I was traveling with a new company at the time and avoided the higher end cocktail lounges.  But, I'm always up for an evening romp with a decent looking cougar.   

These were niiiiiice.  Well kept.

I always carry an extra $50.  Heh, heh, heh...     It's a lot cheaper than having to take her out to a nice restaurant. 

That would still have been about $49.99 more than a "date" with this girl was worth.

[GarMan]

I wasn't paying, so I was unconcerned.  I got a Cohiba for $12...smallest gauge she had.

Not for a real Cuban Cohiba...  They typically cost 2 to 3 times that.  I'm sure that it was still fun.  Fuck it...

These were niiiiiice.  Well kept.

With some of the money down there, I could imagine.  Seriously, a well maintained cougar is helluva ride. 

That would still have been about $49.99 more than a "date" with this girl was worth.

Well, we'd save her for Tarheel anyway... 

[Jumbo]

I try to learn from my mistakes.

You told me those 3 minutes changed your life? 

[wesfau]

You told me those 3 minutes changed your life? 

They did...but not as much as the three weeks of antibiotics I needed afterwards.

[Jumbo]

They did...but not as much as the three weeks of antibiotics I needed afterwards.

I gave you the claps