Such Douchebags

Townhallsavoy · « **on:** April 18, 2011, 10:09:10 AM »

Early this morning in the copy room...

Douchebag #1 - "Did you hear about Alabama's spring practice?"

Me - "Not really. I heard the qbs struggled a bit."

Dbag #1 - "No, I meant about the attendance. 92,000 plus."

Me - "You know how I feel about that. Too little is bad. Too many is bad. I liked seeing my 30 thousand at Jordan Hare."

Dbag #2 - "Well, experts disagree. If you listened to Finebaum's interview on the O D, he said it's obvious that Auburn's program is going down and Alabama's is going up."

Me - "What?"

Dbag #2 - "Auburn had a horrible showing. It's because y'all know what's coming from the NCAA and y'all know how bad next season's going to be. That's what Finebaum said. And I think he's knows what he's talking about."

Me - "So, based on the A-Day numbers, we can determine what the NCAA is going to do? I'm not following."

Dbag #1 - "It's more about who has the top program right now. We had 92,000 people show up for a practice. That's how big we are right now."

Me - "Ok."

Dbag #1 - "You know, I guess it speaks the truth. Auburn can never catch up to Alabama because you can't even seat 92,000 people, right?"

Dbag #2 - "Yuck yuck yuck yuck."

Me - "You sound worse than the callers on Finebaum."

Dbag #2 - "I am a caller on Finebaum. I get on about once a week." (His name is David.)

Me -

AUChizad · « **Reply #1 on:** April 18, 2011, 10:27:25 AM »

http://www.cnbc.com/id/42643110

Quote

Alabama: 92,310

Nebraska: 66,784

Florida State: 53,818

Auburn: 53,209

Florida: 51,000

Georgia: 43,177

Arkansas: 42,000

Mississippi State: 36,357

Tennessee: 35,891

South Carolina: 29,451

Texas: 29,541

Mississippi: 28,000

Notre Dame: 27,863

Clemson: 27,000

Oklahoma: 25,598

LSU: 25,032

North Carolina: 15,500

Texas A&M: 16,500

Oklahoma State: 16,000

Colorado: 15,655

NC State: 13,139

Texas Tech: 12,400

Missouri: 10,000

Arizona: 4,500

Iowa State: 4,000

If we're going down based on that, there's a hell of a lot of programs going down with us. Bama is the pathetic outlier in this equation.

JR4AU · « **Reply #2 on:** April 18, 2011, 10:31:25 AM »

I guess I'm lucky. I have yet to meet, in person, anybody that even remotely acts like a Finebaum caller or internet troll. Yeah, the occasional taunting Rawl Tahd, but never one that's really studied the "How to be a douchebag bammer" manual.

I have to wonder, do they really believe the NCAA hammer is coming, or is that just something they continually vomit because it's taunting?

Jumbo · « **Reply #3 on:** April 18, 2011, 10:33:43 AM »

Quote from: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 10:31:25 AM

I guess I'm lucky. I have yet to meet, in person, anybody that even remotely acts like a Finebaum caller or internet troll. Yeah, the occasional taunting Rawl Tahd, but never one that's really studied the "How to be a douchebag bammer" manual.

I have to wonder, do they really believe the NCAA hammer is coming, or is that just something they continually vomit because it's taunting?

He has no idea.

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #4 on:** April 18, 2011, 10:34:49 AM »

Quote from: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 10:31:25 AM

I guess I'm lucky. I have yet to meet, in person, anybody that even remotely acts like a Finebaum caller or internet troll. Yeah, the occasional taunting Rawl Tahd, but never one that's really studied the "How to be a douchebag bammer" manual.

I have to wonder, do they really believe the NCAA hammer is coming, or is that just something they continually vomit because it's taunting?

You are lucky.

There are two teachers here that are the epitome of bammertards. They know I was a Tiger Host and because of that, they think I'm just as much of a homer as they are. They love to spar. But I usually do the head nod and walk away.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #5 on:** April 18, 2011, 10:45:44 AM »

It's funny that I rarely encounter that type of bammer in my own home town but had am episode at the beach last summer, of all places. Me and a buddy were doing a bike ride one morning and I had on an AU biking shirt. We stopped at a convenience store for a break and this guy, literally dressed in a Bama cap, Bama shirt, shorts AND socks, walks by and says, Ya'll almost got us but it just didn't happen, did it? (Referring to the previous Iron Bowl) I just said, "Yeah, it was a great game"

But ya'll couldn't do it, could ya?

Nope, close game.

Ya'll might have had more yards but we won it on the score board.

Yep

The guy stops as he's getting in his car and points toward the front of his crimson mustang to his Bama tag.

All I could do is give him the thumbs up and say, "Stay classy Bama". The guy I was with is a Florida grad and said he had no idea how crazy some of these idiots were til he moved to Alabama.

JR4AU · « **Reply #6 on:** April 18, 2011, 10:58:02 AM »

One of the things I frequently encounter are the douche bags that like to say "I go to 'The University'". I hear it in traffic court all the time being that I work in a neighboring county. Said as if it will impress me, or sway me, apparently assuming everybody must be a bammer. When they say that, I usually respond with "which one, there's several in this state?" They usually look at me like I have 2 heads. Sometimes that's about the time they notice my orange and blue tie I reserve for traffic court days just for that reason.

If they try and tell me they go to Alabama, I just casually tell them: "You're lucky I can't hold that against you in this case".

But, I've never encountered one that just ran the Finebaum company line for real.

Kaos · « **Reply #7 on:** April 18, 2011, 11:29:03 AM »

Whenever I hear "I go (or went) to the University" my general response is "how does that Phoenix thing work, anyway? How much do you have to pay to get them to send you a diploma?"

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #8 on:** April 18, 2011, 11:30:44 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on April 18, 2011, 11:29:03 AM

Whenever I hear "I go (or went) to the University" my general response is "how does that Phoenix thing work, anyway? How much do you have to pay to get them to send you a diploma?"

Speaking of that -

I watched an interesting documentary on online universities. Pretty big scam according to Frontline.

Kaos · « **Reply #9 on:** April 18, 2011, 11:33:36 AM »

Quote from: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 11:30:44 AM

Speaking of that -

I watched an interesting documentary on online universities. Pretty big scam according to Frontline.

Didn't need Frontline to tell me that. They are better known for flea medication.

Jumbo · « **Reply #10 on:** April 18, 2011, 12:13:31 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on April 18, 2011, 11:33:36 AM

Didn't need Frontline to tell me that. They are better known for flea medication.

It's an evolution.

AUChizad · « **Reply #11 on:** April 18, 2011, 03:23:32 PM »

Finebaum is so butthurt it's ridiculous. He is making this out to be a huge fucking deal.

That we're only the 4th (practically tied for 3rd) biggest A-Day game. Of course he's framing it that Alabama had about twice as many in the stands. Not that they had 50% more than the #2 spot, and #3 & #4 were right behind that, and that Auburn was #4 overall.

Please someone call in and call him on this ridiculousness.

Would also like someone to point out Saban referring to the LaMo loss as September 11th in regards to that assclown calling Saban hitler on a message board. But I guess that's old news.

I wish I were unemployed, or didn't start my late shift at Taco Bell until later in the night, so I could call in and correct him on his bullshit.

AUsweetheart · « **Reply #12 on:** April 18, 2011, 03:49:23 PM »

I've been fighting the urge to call for the last 30 minutes.

Arrrrgghhhhh

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #13 on:** April 18, 2011, 03:57:57 PM »

Quote from: AUsweetheart on April 18, 2011, 03:49:23 PM

I've been fighting the urge to call for the last 30 minutes.

Arrrrgghhhhh

Luke, give in to the force.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #14 on:** April 18, 2011, 03:59:14 PM »

Quote from: AUsweetheart on April 18, 2011, 03:49:23 PM

I've been fighting the urge to call for the last 30 minutes.

Arrrrgghhhhh

Keep fighting it. Calling in will do you no good whatsoever.

AUChizad · « **Reply #15 on:** April 18, 2011, 04:01:05 PM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on April 18, 2011, 03:59:14 PM

Keep fighting it. Calling in will do you no good whatsoever.

I get that mentality, but I can't help but think that an actually intelligent and articulate fan calling the station to completely call him out on his outright lies could do no harm.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #16 on:** April 18, 2011, 04:04:46 PM »

PAAAWWWWL, I thank it's heelareeyus how them barners can't injoy that nushnul champeenship. That's cause they no it's gonna get took from em' iny day now. Whatchu thank PAAAWWWL?

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #17 on:** April 18, 2011, 04:05:07 PM »

These are the days I don't even listen in.

For one, 53k people is a fuckton of people to attend an A-Day game. (Although, that number seems a bit inflated)

Two, Finebaum is obviously finding something to deflect the SBB article. I'm not saying he's protecting Alabama. I think he knows by not talking about it, it will get people riled up to call in.

AUChizad · « **Reply #18 on:** April 18, 2011, 04:09:02 PM »

Quote from: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 04:05:07 PM

Two, Finebaum is obviously finding something to deflect the SBB article. I'm not saying he's protecting Alabama. I think he knows by not talking about it, it will get people riled up to call in.

Yeah, this too.

Still haven't heard anything about this.

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #19 on:** April 18, 2011, 04:10:07 PM »

Quote from: AUChizad on April 18, 2011, 04:09:02 PM

Yeah, this too.

Still haven't heard anything about this.

And you won't.

And if someone sneaks it into the show, Finebaum will probably say, "I haven't seen it" and move on.