Still phone dead. Can't call anybody, can't get calls.
Apparently the crash occurred during backup. Backup file is alleged to be corrupted. That's so super damn awesome.
Contacts? Apparently gone.
Photos/Music? Gone.
Calendar? Gone.
Apps? Gone.
AT&T store was massively helpful. "Uhhh. Maybe call Apple?"
BestBuy was great. "You got that service, we can get you another one. A refurb. But your stuff is gone"
Apple support was amazing. "Press one, Press two, Press four, Press eleven and the pound sign. Say the name of your first dog. Did you say Rassenfeffer? Press one if you said Rassenfeffer. Press two if you said something else. Did you say Booze? Press four if you said Booze. Press five if you want Booze. I'm sorry, that is not a valid command. Spell the capitol of the Czech Republic and push the pound sign. Sorry, that is the capitol of Uzebekistan. Press nine if you've seen Kat Dennings naked. Thank you. She isn't having trouble with her iPhone. Type in the combination to the locker you had in seventh grade to speak to Kat Dennings. I'm sorry, "fuck you" isn't a recognized command. Goodbye."
I am strongly considering purchasing the biggest bottle-rocket type explosive device I can find at Shelton Fireworks (if you've never been and like things that blow up, find a Shelton's), strapping this damn phone to it and then shooting it into the ocean.