The OFFICIAL 2011 MLB Bitch & Moan Thread

[AUJarhead]

See?  I gave you a reason to invoke the hoodoo.

I need a reason for tonight's game.

[Tiger Wench]

I need a reason for tonight's game.

Uh... lessee...

That fatass Prince Fielder is gonna go yard at least once tonight.  Dead Bird pitching sucks. 

Berkman's nothing but a ring chaser.

[AUJarhead]

Thank you, cock breath.

-Dabo

[Tiger Wench]

Thank you, cock breath.

-Dabo

What is this karma override gonna be worth to you?  You do realize I have you over the superstition barrel with your pants around your ankles? 

I think I want a sammich.

[AUJarhead]

What is this karma override gonna be worth to you?  You do realize I have you over the superstition barrel with your pants around your ankles? 

I think I want a sammich.

I would say we're even after a free ticket to a football game.

[Tiger Wench]

I would say we're even after a free ticket to a football game.

That got you through the first round - that debt's done been warshed away...

[Buzz Killington]

That got you through the first round - that debt's done been warshed away...

That's not the issue Wench. Even if that did put you square with the Jarhead, the baseball karma gods are a little more hard-nosed.

[AUJarhead]

That got you through the first round - that debt's done been warshed away...

I can send you one of these:

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&q=lance+berkman+t-shirt+cardinals&gs_upl=64389l65594l1l65754l10l7l0l0l0l0l128l554l6.1l7l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&biw=1019&bih=575&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=2253064753737407693&sa=X&ei=bk2UTo-qE4Xa0QHP5uWNCA&ved=0CIgBEPMCMAQ

[Tiger Wench]

That's not the issue Wench. Even if that did put you square with the Jarhead, the baseball karma gods are a little more hard-nosed.

Fuck teh BKG.  What have they done for me lately?  JACK and SHIT.  They let me suffer through the worst baseball season of my entire life.  For the first time since I moved to Houston, I DID NOT GO TO ONE SINGLE SOLITARY GAME.  Every player worth a fuck with Sani's dick is gone, and those that are left are either complete unknowns or not worth the money they are paid.

So while I am quite fond of Jarhead, me worrying about appeasing the mothafuckin' BKG through my contribution towards the success in the playoffs of HIS fucking team who is a division rival of my FUCKING SORRY team does not exactly keep me up at night. 

[Tiger Wench]

I can send you one of these:

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&q=lance+berkman+t-shirt+cardinals&gs_upl=64389l65594l1l65754l10l7l0l0l0l0l128l554l6.1l7l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&biw=1019&bih=575&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=2253064753737407693&sa=X&ei=bk2UTo-qE4Xa0QHP5uWNCA&ved=0CIgBEPMCMAQ

That just corked it like Sammy Sosa's bat.  DONE.

[AUJarhead]

That just corked it like Sammy Sosa's bat.  DONE.

Yeah, I thought about that after I hit "post."

Maybe the squirrel can save me.

[War Eagle!!!]

[War Eagle!!!]

[Tiger Wench]

Yeah, I thought about that after I hit "post."

Maybe the squirrel can save me.

Not my squirrel.

[AUJarhead]

Queue the Pujols to Cubs chatter in 3...2...1...

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/7089985/theo-epstein-verge-taking-job-chicago-cubs-sources-say

Sources: Theo Epstein nears Cubs job

Theo Epstein, the general manager of the Boston Red Sox for two championship teams in the last eight seasons, could be on his way to the Chicago Cubs, two sources said Tuesday night.

Although a Red Sox official with direct knowledge of the negotiations told ESPNBoston.com's Gordon Edes on Tuesday that "it's likely he's going to go but nothing has been finalized,'' WEEI radio in Boston reported on Friday that a deal had been reached.

Epstein would receive a five-year contract for in excess of $15 million from the Cubs, but a title had not been agreed upon, according to the report.

The Red Sox and Cubs were still negotiating compensation that Boston would receive from Chicago for Epstein, who had one more year left on his Red Sox contract. Talks could continue for a few more days.

The Cubs' negotiations with Epstein about taking over the top baseball job in the organization have been going so smoothly that the team has asked Major League Baseball what protocol will be for compensation if Epstein decides to join the Cubs, a source with knowledge of the negotiations told ESPNChicago.com's Bruce Levine.

A source with knowledge of the talks told ESPN's Karl Ravech that the compensation would involve prospects and/or cash, but no major league players would be part of the deal, following traditional precedent.

Also, Epstein's title with the Cubs would be above his current title of executive vice president/general manager of the Red Sox, a source told Levine.

"Nothing will be resolved as quickly as has been speculated,'' a source close to the negotiations told Edes, "and it is still unclear how this will be resolved.''

The Boston Herald first reported that Epstein was on the cusp of joining the Cubs.

Since the possibility of Epstein going to the Cubs first surfaced in August, Red Sox ownership has downplayed the possibility because Epstein is under contract with the Red Sox through 2012. But at no point have Red Sox owners John Henry or Tom Werner ever squashed the talk completely, nor has Epstein definitively ruled out the move.

Neither the Cubs nor Red Sox have formally acknowledged that the Red Sox granted permission to the Cubs to interview Epstein, but an industry source said Tuesday that Cubs owner Tom Ricketts spoke with Epstein last week and that Epstein met with Cubs president Crane Kenney in Chicago last weekend.

Sources indicated last week that the Red Sox have had informal conversations about changes in the event that Epstein did leave for the Cubs -- and at the top of their hierarchy, there have been some discussions about the identity of the next manager without Epstein.

The Red Sox also have had informal conversations about candidates other than assistant GM Ben Cherington to replace Epstein, were he to leave. But Cherington appears to be the heir apparent if Epstein departs.

If Epstein leaves the Red Sox, he will likely be restricted, in an agreement between the teams, from bringing any Boston employees with him without approval from the Red Sox, according to an American League source.

Executives with the Red Sox either declined comment or did not respond to requests for a response. Epstein did not respond to a request for comment, although there were indications Tuesday night that the Red Sox were hoping that Epstein might yet change his mind.

But one Red Sox official said Tuesday that Epstein's departure would not come as a surprise.

"It wouldn't shock me,'' the official said, "but until it happens I won't believe it.''

The last two Red Sox forays into hiring a general manager have taken last-second twists. In 2002, the Red Sox struck an agreement with Oakland's Billy Beane to become GM, only to have Beane call Henry two days later to inform him that he had changed his mind. That opened the way to Epstein's hiring.

Then in 2005, Epstein left the club in a dispute with CEO Larry Lucchino, and the team subsequently hired Cherington and Jed Hoyer as co-general managers. Epstein's departure was short-lived; he was back as GM within three months, with Hoyer later leaving to become general manager of the San Diego Padres.

Cherington's first order of business, if promoted, would be to hire a manager to replace Terry Francona, who left after eight seasons in the job. In Chicago, Epstein would be replacing Jim Hendry, who was let go in July after becoming Cubs GM in 2002, the same year Epstein began with the Red Sox.

The Cubs have a manager under contract for one more year, Mike Quade.

[War Eagle!!!]

I think I jinxed us. Oh well...I like the Rangers and would love to see them win, but I am not emotionally involved.

With that said...

[AUJarhead]

I think I jinxed us. Oh well...I like the Rangers and would love to see them win, but I am not emotionally involved.

I still think Rangers in 6.

[AUTiger1]

Nolan Ryan was the man.  I remember him throwing out a first pitch in the World Series in 05.  85 mph up the gut. 


I guess I am wanting either the Tigers or Cards to win it all.   I'm not really a fan of any team that's left, but don't dislike any of them either.

[AUJarhead]

Nolan Ryan was the man.  I remember him throwing out a first pitch in the World Series in 05.  85 mph up the gut. 


I guess I am wanting either the Tigers or Cards to win it all.   I'm not really a fan of any team that's left, but don't dislike any of them either.

I'm getting really tired of the "Beast Mode" the Brewers are doing.  Hit a single?  Beast mode!  Home run?  Beast Mode!  Fuck them, and their beast mode.

If the Cards don't advance, I'm rooting for the AL.

[Tiger Wench]

Queue the Pujols to Cubs chatter in 3...2...1...

When did we ever stop talking about that?  It's a done deal, pretty much, right? Your Dead Bird Pujols jersey is worthless after this year...

But to be fair, I am not sure even Theo Epstein and Pujols can fix the Cubbies... lawsie...

And I guess I have to go Rangers and keep it down home, cuz.  The Rangers have always been the forgotten team in Dallas, because of the fucking Cowgirls and the Mavs and occasionally, a while back, even the Stars in the Mike Modano days.  Oh, and because the Rangers sucked.  But now they own that town.  And as much as I hate Dallas and everything about it, I gotta go with the Rangers.  Josh Hamilton is one of my favorite feel good stories.