Dear Alabama fans:

[Kaos]

Note:  I'm thinking of writing an article of this sort.  For publication. Somewhere.  Question before I go to the trouble of finishing it is whether I should. 

Dear Alabama fans:

Up yours.  Over the last 45 years I've often thought about saying that, but in all but the most extreme cases I've refrained.  I've done my best over my lifetime to maintain decorum and exhibit the kind of good sportsmanship and friendly spirit I hoped our rivalry should hold.

Make no mistake, I've never had any love for your football program. In fact, I loathe it and everything it represents.  But in our daily interactions I've done my part to keep that loathing buried.  To your face I've done my best to show you and your program the respect and dignity it deserved.

But today? After the way the vast majority of you have behaved in the wake of Auburn's BCS National Championship?  Up yours.  And up hers, too.

A year ago I congratulated you on the achievement of your team and in particular the success of tailback Mark Ingram. I listened politely while you held Ingram up against some of the best backs in college football history. I let you compare him to Bo, to Herschel and claim that he was the next Emmitt Smith.  Well guess what? Mark Ingram couldn't carry Emmitt's dirty sweatsocks.  He's not in the same league.  He is without a doubt the worst Heisman winner in the history of the award.  When you rank the list of Heisman winners, he'd fit in just behind a potted plant.

No, the 2009 Alabama team was not the greatest football team I've ever seen.  I should have corrected you last year, but I allowed you to live in your fantasy world.  It's not the best team I've seen this decade, not the best I've seen in the last five years and not the best I've seen in the last two. 

And so on...

[Snaggletiger]

I'll go back and read it now.  Just finished cleaning my monitor off after the first line.  Dear Alabama Fans....Up Yours. 

[eagleair89]

Fuck them......ignore 'em.

Write your letter to Auburn fans.  Write about how we were the "loyal opposition" year after year, how we kept competing, how we continued to conduct ourselves with class instead of talking about it.

Talk about the long wondrous journey so many of us have endured and enjoyed to get to a day like we had in Auburn this past Saturday.

Talk about Auburn, Her History, Her people.........it is such a great story to tell, so turn your skills toward that which is worthy, aim it toward people who will understand, appreciate and respect your effort and time.

Straight to hell with the inbred bastards.

This journey was about us, our trials our triumphs our tribulations, our perseverance.

And it is for us, as Auburn People to cherish and enjoy. 

Those bastards have no place in this celebration.  Ignore them.

This one was for Auburn.  All In for All of Us!

WAR DAMN EAGLE

[Tiger Wench]

You know I like your "for publication" writings.

But meh.  Not the quality, the topic.  To me, it now officially goes without saying that we have proven all we need to prove to anyone to whom something is worth proving.

It's like the bammer SGA president did.  Damn his hide, he killed with kindness.  He knew that if he went in there with vitriol and hatred, he would get eaten alive and justifiably so.  Instead, he stole'd our thunder.  He took away our reason to boo and hiss and scream invective.  He was gracious in winning and left us all muttering.  He wins by forcing us to reciprocate.

So telling bammer to go and fuck themselves, while cathartic in its own way, just gives them a reason to keep on spewing and justifies THEIR booing and hissing.  We already know we are better than them in every way that counts.  Let them wallow in that for a while. 

Smiling smugly is sure working on the t-sips in my office.  They are DYING inside while praying for a miracle. 

[Kaos]

You know I like your "for publication" writings.

But meh.  Not the quality, the topic.  To me, it now officially goes without saying that we have proven all we need to prove to anyone to whom something is worth proving.

It's like the bammer SGA president did.  Damn his hide, he killed with kindness.  He knew that if he went in there with vitriol and hatred, he would get eaten alive and justifiably so.  Instead, he stole'd our thunder.  He took away our reason to boo and hiss and scream invective.  He was gracious in winning and left us all muttering.  He wins by forcing us to reciprocate.

So telling bammer to go and phuk themselves, while cathartic in its own way, just gives them a reason to keep on spewing and justifies THEIR booing and hissing.  We already know we are better than them in every way that counts.  Let them wallow in that for a while. 

Smiling smugly is sure working on the t-sips in my office.  They are DYING inside while praying for a miracle.

That's really what I thought, too.  I will keep it for myself and have it read at my funeral.  And I will take specific shots at certain people.

[Tiger Wench]

That's really what I thought, too.  I will keep it for myself and have it read at my funeral.  And I will take specific shots at certain people.

The best way I know of to truly have the last word.

[AUJarhead]

Last Sunday, while at the St Louis airport, and sporting my Auburn hat, a family of Bama fans (and you could tell they were fans, and not alumni) were sitting at the gate next to me.  The dad and son were just staring at me, with daggers coming out of their eyes.  I just smiled right at them, and didn't say shit.  I think that went over much better than a War Eagle.

[djsimp]

Last Sunday, while at the St Louis airport, and sporting my Auburn hat, a family of Bama fans (and you could tell they were fans, and not alumni) were sitting at the gate next to me.  The dad and son were just staring at me, with daggers coming out of their eyes.  I just smiled right at them, and didn't say shit.  I think that went over much better than a War Eagle.

For real. There are several shit eatin' bammers here at work that I have practiced on. Just a look and a big smile. You can see the smoke rising from their ears like an old tea kettle.

[Snaggletiger]

Saturday after the celebration, we wound up at Bonefish in Montgomery, as did quite a few AU fans all decked out in our finest orange and blue.  This one guy was sitting at the bar and a couple asked him if he had been in Auburn and he told them yes and said it was a culmination of a great year.  Nothing loud, nothing obnoxious...just a few smiles and War Eagles.  This lady standing next to them just frickin blurts out, "Not this year.  You won't be celebrating this year." Stunned a lot of people because it was obvious how hateful and loud she said it.

Set the guy off.  His voice got loud too and he said, "Not this year?  How do you know, are you God?  You know everything?  I know one thing, the Bear is dead.  get over it."

People clapped in Bonefish.

[Token]

Note:  I'm thinking of writing an article of this sort.  For publication. Somewhere.  Question before I go to the trouble of finishing it is whether I should. 

Dear Alabama fans:

Up yours.  Over the last 45 years I've often thought about saying that, but in all but the most extreme cases I've refrained.  I've done my best over my lifetime to maintain decorum and exhibit the kind of good sportsmanship and friendly spirit I hoped our rivalry should hold.

Make no mistake, I've never had any love for your football program. In fact, I loathe it and everything it represents.  But in our daily interactions I've done my part to keep that loathing buried.  To your face I've done my best to show you and your program the respect and dignity it deserved.

But today? After the way the vast majority of you have behaved in the wake of Auburn's BCS National Championship?  Up yours.  And up hers, too.

A year ago I congratulated you on the achievement of your team and in particular the success of tailback Mark Ingram. I listened politely while you held Ingram up against some of the best backs in college football history. I let you compare him to Bo, to Herschel and claim that he was the next Emmitt Smith.  Well guess what? Mark Ingram couldn't carry Emmitt's dirty sweatsocks.  He's not in the same league.  He is without a doubt the worst Heisman winner in the history of the award.  When you rank the list of Heisman winners, he'd fit in just behind a potted plant.

No, the 2009 Alabama team was not the greatest football team I've ever seen.  I should have corrected you last year, but I allowed you to live in your fantasy world.  It's not the best team I've seen this decade, not the best I've seen in the last five years and not the best I've seen in the last two. 

And so on...

Dear Auburn fan:

It's not long enough, it doesn't have any "Bear" or "rammer jammer" references and it doesn't have enough words that force me to either find a dictionary or quit reading.  I need hyperbole.  I need explicit language.  I need both to be spread heavily across the topic. 

And for God's sake (yes, the same one who willed Auburn to a NC) don't post that shit on the bleacher report.  The last time I tried to read an article from that shitty waste of bandwidth, the spell check frazzled the primary colors on my computer screen. 



With that said, why can't we equally hate each other with every fiber of our beings without acting like complete assholes in public? 

[AUsweetheart]

  I just smiled right at them, and didn't say shit.  I think that went over much better than a War Eagle.

I started smiling at them after the lsu loss. Even on texts with people I usually talk shit with...I just sent smiley faces.
I was walking in the mall right before the Ironbowl, and saw this old man..now I am usually really nice to old people, but he looked like an asshole. And he looked like he'd been an asshole for a long time. He gave my hat a sour look as he sat on the bench with his sweatshirt, and a big red and white button that said 13 on the top of his national championship hat. I looked at it and before I could even help myself, I just grinned.

He didn't.

[No Huddle]

Dear Kaos,

Congrats on the BCSNC and on another Heisman. 

[JR4AU]

All things most of us have thought from time to time.  All need to be said, probably on a regular basis.  But a bammer will never give you the proper reaction.  If that's what you seek, it's a waste of time and effort except in your parting words as you said.  If it just feels good to write it, then write it. 

[The Prowler]

Dear Kaos,

Congrats on the BCSNC and on another Heisman. 

Eat SHIT bammer!!!

War DAMN Eagle!!!

[AU_Tiger_2000]

He is without a doubt the worst Heisman winner in the history of the award.  When you rank the list of Heisman winners, he'd fit in just behind a potted plant.

As long as Gino Torretta still has his bronze statue propping open the door to his office at whatever car dealership he works at Ingram can only be second worst.

[djsimp]

As long as Gino Torretta still has his bronze statue propping open the door to his office at whatever car dealership he works at Ingram can only be second worst.

Ooohh, yeah I think I would have to agree with you on that.

[No Huddle]

Eat poop bammer!!!

War DAMN Eagle!!!

Was that Prowler, Nick Saban, Gene Chessit or a sailor? Not sure but that harsh language is uncalled for.

[Buzz Killington]

Was that Prowler, Nick Saban, Gene Chessit or a sailor? Not sure but that harsh language is uncalled for.

Heh...heh.  He called the shit poop.

[Godfather]

Heh...heh.  He called the shit poop.

still makes me laugh